Friday, January 1, 2016

Remembering 2015 in Words and Photos

Wow, wow, double wow – whirlwind wow. With the birth of my daughter 5 months ago which now leaves me with two tiny children 2 and under life is BUSY and full and chaotic and oh so exhausting. I had a rough five emotional years before kids and now I am having a rough physical/emotional years in a totally different way with kids. My ordered life, my lists, my blog, everything is behind or being totally ignored. I am on an UN-mission. I am ignoring everything and only doing the things that need to be done. I have never felt so fulfilled and happy coupled with sheer exhaustion and totally unlike myself.

The birth of my little girl was incredible but I also had to say goodbye to my two original partners in crime. Both my Rottweiler Rogue and my silver tabby Seurat passed away. Life is beautiful, and complicated. I know I am blessed to have them for so long but it feels quiet without them underfoot.

With everything feeling like I am on a fine tight wire at the top of the grand canyon juggling a million balls in the air I am now terrified that something is REALLY wrong with my Little Cricket. I vacillate wildly in any day in any moment. He will do something so normal for his age and we will squeal with laughter together and then he will do something that feels so strange and I have to admit that there is something going on. Something I don’t understand. And I feel so powerless.

Anyways here are a few of my favorite posts from the past year and also my little end of the year in photos video. Happy New year everyone.

Times They are A-changin
“Its funny how timing is so important to me now that I have a baby. With an hour in and no food on the table yet I knew it was going to take forever to get through dinner”

And This is When I Click my Red Sparkly Shoes
SO NOT IN THE MOOD TO RUN I snagged one of the go carts, slipped the guy a $10 and asked him to please, for the love of GOD drive me to my gate. And that is how I got to my gate, in 10 minutes, without running out of breath.

Like Trying to Wrestle an Octopus into a Tutu
“… with the addition of a child, its like I have a black vortex of time suckage in my normally well planned out day.”

Caribbean Cruise Day 1: Puerto Rico – Getting on the Boat
“How in the world I missed updating my passport to my married name I have no idea. And how I could double check that the expiration was ok but not catch that my name wasn’t is beyond me.”

The Lie Every Crafty Mama Tells Herself
“I am a crafty girl. But I told myself that I wasn’t going to craft this party. I just couldn’t possibly. And then I went to Micheal's… because who am I kidding. I went with a list of the items I wanted to craft and a rough idea of what items I would need to get to finish those crafts.”

My Little Cricket’s First Birthday Party
“My Little Cricket got so SUPER DUPER messy getting into that cake that it was going to be impossible to just wipe him down. Grandma offered to take him upstairs quickly for a little bath. Boy oh boy did he sure need it.”

Being a Big Girl is Complicated
“A little log cabin, a little vegetable garden, a tiny little town on the edge of a great wide wilderness.”

Rogue Baby #2: Little Ms. Rose is Born
“With the thousands of things I needed to do before the baby came, with taking care of my Little Cricket and making sure his needs were all met while my husband worked crazy hours, with my parents and other relatives arriving and even more added to my to do list, with being exhausted last night and with running late this morning I honestly haven’t had a moment to think or stress out about the actual operation.”

Just a Little CRAZY Road Trip
“So what do I do. I plan a 2 week 1,776 mile road trip across 4 states. As my husband said a good majority of the things I feel need to get done are things that I am putting on myself. Things that I probably don’t need to be or just down right shouldn’t be doing right now with how run down I am. But I am like the little engine. I think I can, I think I can, so I know I can.”

Happy Halloween from our Little Circus
“But after going up with the group a few times he seemed to getting the knack of it. I loved that he ran up to show me what candy he got after each and every house.”

My Little Cricket Delay: An Honest Perspective and the Kick in the Pants I Needed
“No one wants to hear bad news. No one wants to tell their friend something so horrible. But she loves me enough to give me the honest truth. And I love her enough to be able to accept it without feeling like I want to shoot the messenger.”

A Tearful Goodbye to my Beloved Furry Best Friend
“It got me thinking about how important perspective is in photography and in life.”

My Little Cricket’s Delay: UCLA CAN Clinic Autism Screening
“I walked out confused as I have been this whole time where we stand. On a positive note I thought my Little Cricket showed a perfect representation of himself. Today wasn’t his best day, and it wasn’t his worse day. Instead he gave some eye contact, he spoke some, he participated some and then he was off doing his own thing sometimes and wouldn’t respond to me calling his name. Which is right down the middle”

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