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Tuesday, February 2, 2016

My Little Cricket’s Delay: First day of Brite Kids, Center Based Preschool

Yesterday was my Little Crickets first day of preschool. It wasn’t a fantastic first day. There was an issue where the director wasn’t sure which class my Little Cricket belonged in, in the end we decided with the lower class since it was a smaller environment and since it was acceptable for me to also stay. I do love the school and the teachers and most importantly I adore the director but the other children in my sons new class… well they are all special needs. I know, I know my son apparently is too, after all that is why we are all here, and I am sure every mother that walks in here with her kid feels the same way but I couldn’t help but feel like my kid didn’t belong there. I had about as much exposure to kids with disabilities as any healthy typical person does. I don’t have any close friends with kids with disabilities, at school growing up the kids with disabilities were in another part of the school only to be brought out during assemblies. And so I didn’t see them much, I didn’t interact with them much, and to be honest I didn’t really think about them. I know everyone compares their kids, but as a mom trying to wrap my head around raising a special needs kid, a mom trying to see their kid and their strengths and weaknesses clearly, a mom who is trying to compare what is not typical with their kid sucks. Being surrounded by a room full of children with special needs was so hard. This is our new world. These are the children that my son is like. I was in agony the whole day.

I wanted to leave, but I sucked it up and decided to wait to see if the feelings that my kid doesn’t fit in here still persisted. I went home and forced myself to wait until 24 hours had passed. I needed to process everything and make sure I wasn’t jumping the gun. Today I called the director and she totally supported my feelings. That is why she was having such a hard time deciding what placement to put my Little Cricket in. We decided to keep my Little Cricket in the lower Blue Room for two more days and then my Little Cricket will get moved to the higher, pre-preschool like, Rainbow Room.

I am hoping my gut feels better in that placement.

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