Thursday, January 14, 2016

My Little Cricket’s Delay: Developmental Pediatrician

I went back to the developmental pediatrician today with the report from UCLA. In essence I wanted to see what her take on the report was. I also have had time to process her recommendations as well as UCLA’s recommendations and I wanted to go over the plan that I feel comfortable implementing at this time. In essence I need lots of reassurance right now and if I am honest I want someone to tell me I am making the right decisions. I am coming to the conclusion that I am just not going to get a definitive answer at this time from any doctor on what is going on with my son. All I can do is try to start treatment targeted at the areas my son needs work on and help my Little Cricket any way I can. The doctor really didn’t tell me anything new. She tried to reassure me that she still believes that my son is not autistic. It feels so wonderful to hear her have such conviction that he isn’t on the spectrum but I also don’t want to discount UCLA’s opinion. Right now I am trying not to have too much hope. Of course I want to believe my son isn’t autistic, but because I want it so much doesn’t make it true. I have to be careful to have balance. There are moments when I think that he couldn’t possibly be autistic, and then there are moments where I am convinced he is. I don’t have any clarity, no definite diagnosis, no cause, no set treatment that will be sure to catch my son up to his peers. Instead I just am pushing ahead, weeding my way through the mist of confusion and at the same time trying to stick to the concrete positives. The good news is that my son is getting such a wide range of diagnosis, confusing right. But with no one agreeing on what exactly is going on it means that his symptoms are mild. He isn’t so severe that the specialists are sure. He has eye contact, he responds to his name sometimes, he can speak, he does have some social skills. He just needs to strengthen them.

For now I pray and I continue to do the hard work of getting my son the best help I can arrange.

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