Monday, July 27, 2015

Rogue Baby #2: Little Ms. Rose is Born

The alarm went off so early. Too early. I am a night person, not a morning person, and Mr. Rogue and I had a brief conversation about staying in bed longer, so we hit the snooze. At least I did sleep well through the night. Unlike when I was pregnant with my Little Cricket, where I was up all night with nerves, I was just too exhausted last night to let nerves get in the way. It also helped that I didn’t sleep at all the night before and I didn’t get a nap yesterday.

Today was my scheduled c-section. I still am not happy about not being able to have my child naturally but the statistics of trying a vbac plus the fact that my doctor not only doesn’t support it but also won’t do a vbac so close to a previous c-section kind of sealed the deal for me. At least this time instead of a matter of days to resign myself to a c-section I had months to get used to the idea. Plus with having a previous c-section at least this time I know what to expect and can embrace the good aspects of it.

Sadly because we hit the snooze button we kind of scrambled out the door. I had everything ready to go, and our last minute list of stuff to do before we left. I snuck into my Little Crickets room, it was too early for him to wake up but I was going to be gone from him for days. The first time I have ever left him with anyone for so long other than with my husband. My parents are great with kids and I knew he would be in good hands. I ruffled my hands through his hair and brushed a few kisses on his little cheeks. We decided to not bring my Little Cricket to the hospital, he is just too young and I don’t think he will understand, plus even though the visit might go well leaving me at the hospital might be super hard on him and on my parents. So for the next three or four days I will be without my constant shadow.

As we walked out the door I turned back… we would be back in a few days with another little person, a person that will change our family of three to a family of four, a person that would change the entire dynamic of our universe. It was going to be perfect.


With the delayed wakeup and because we needed to get gas on the way we were about 15 minutes late to the hospital. That did kind of stress me out a little. Your dad and I are on time kind of people and I do not like to be late. We walked in to the mother and baby section of the hospital and was immediately whisked into the prep area. The nurses were waiting for us… they even called. But at least we made it. And again, just like last time we were in this room, there wasn’t a single other patient in the large mother and baby prep area. I liked having the calm, I liked being the only person there, but boy oh boy did a wave of feelings rush over me.

With the thousands of things I needed to do before the baby came, with taking care of my Little Cricket and making sure his needs were all met while my husband worked crazy hours, with my parents and other relatives arriving and even more added to my to do list, with being exhausted last night and with running late this morning I honestly haven’t had a moment to think or stress out about the actual operation. Even last night I slept pretty well, because I was so super exhausted. Sure I have imagined what it will feel like when the baby is here and we will be a family of four. But I just haven’t thought about or reflected on the surgery. Which is probably why as I downed the hospital gown and settled into the bed the reality of what was about to happen and then the resulting panic hit me like a ton of bricks.

I got stuck with the iv and cried. My blood pressure was taken and it was sky high and I cried. The nurses were super nice and tried to calm me down. My husband was amazing and tried to calm me down. And all the while my blood pressure went higher and I cried some more. I blame the hormones and the baby for turning me into a crybaby.


Just when I was getting my cool back, just when my breathing exercises to slow down my racing heart started to work a little the anesthesiologist walked in. Now this is the same anesthesiologist I had when delivering my Little Cricket, in fact all three of the doctors who would be delivering my little girl were the same. And since that delivery went so well I was actually calmed for a moment. And then the anesthesiologist opened his mouth and started talking. Now to his credit he saw that I was a slobbery mess and he was probably just trying to reassure me, but he started talking about the surgery, and how people were like onions, and how I was probably going to get nauseous when they were tampering with layer number 4 going in and then again going out, because that pesky layer 4 is just delicate. And I felt like simultaneously throwing up and punching him in the face. WHO TALKS ABOUT ONIONS AND LAYERS right before a patient goes into surgery. Ignorance is bliss in this instance buddy. Keep your onions and layers to yourself. I managed to gag, and nod until he left, and then I turned to my husband and we both broke out in laughter. If anything it relived some of the tension.

I was wheeled into the same room as last time and while Mr. Rogue waited outside I got stuck with the spine block. We had to wait a while for the doctor, and it took him a couple of pokes this time to find the right spot. And all the while I was held by the nurse. I couldn’t help but think in that moment that nurses are the best people in the world. Sure I would have preferred to hug my husband, or my mom, or my best friend but a hug from anyone in that scary moment was just what I needed.

Once I was numb Mr. Rogue came in and everything started moving really quickly. My little girl’s birth went much smoother than my sons. The doctor didn’t need to vacuum her out; she didn’t have the umbilical cord wrapped around her. She came out screaming and perfect. I kept asking the pediatric nurse if she was ok, if everything was ok, are you sure she is ok. And she kept repeating back to me, she is perfect, she is doing great, I will have her to you in just a minute.

7 pounds – 4 ounces
19.5 inches long




I did have some pretty wicked nausea this time, and I totally blame the onion analogy for getting me sick. But the moment I got my little girl in my arms I stopped thinking about what was being done. All my attention went razor focused on that little bundle of perfection. I remember being so happy I could burst, I remember kissing Mr. Rogue. I remember weeping with joy that I had my adorable little girl safe and sound in my arms. This time, with the new baby doesn’t leave mother policy at the hospital I got to hold our little girl through the rest of the surgery. Last time with my Little Cricket I only got to hold him for a few minutes and then Mr. Rogue whisked him away to the visiting room. I then had to endure another 20 minutes while the doctors finished stitching me back up before seeing my baby again. This time she was with me the whole time and although I didn’t think about the benefits when I was annoyed that the policy changed I was so happy about it now.



We were in the waiting recover room for a few hours and then got wheeled to our room. When we first visited this hospital it was to greet our new nephew and they had a large suite sized room. Imagine our surprise when my Little Cricket was born when we were shown to a tiny little recovery room. Apparently there are only a few suites and they are filled on a first come first serve basis. This time we scored and got the large room. It was such a luxury to have so much space.




By the time we settled in it was quite time. We drew the shades and tried to get a little rest before all our company arrived later in the day. I was hooked up to so many monitors and cords, I couldn’t move my legs or move very much at all and I didn’t want to put down our little baby girl. So sleeping was really just shutting my eyes for few moments. What I really wanted was a hamburger and a shower… but that totally wasn’t going to happen. So I settled for loving on our Little Rose.



Mr. Rogue and I spent three hours alone with our baby and then the nurses started streaming in. Bath time resulted in an angry baby, although she seemed to love the hair washing, skelp massaging part (totally my daughter here). She calmed down once she was wrapped back up and in our arms.






And finally my parents arrived. They missed the first grandbabies birth due to some medical issues they were having so nothing was keeping them away from this little girls birth. The joy and happiness on seeing my mom and dad hold their new little granddaughter was awesome. I had to rely on everyone else to take photos since I was bed bound, and you know it released me to just enjoy the moments.






My mother brought me the sweetest gift. A little vase with three roses in it. You see my grandmothers middle name was rose, my middle name is Rose and my daughters middle name is now Rose. Although we don’t have a first name yet for my Little Rose, as my mother’s card jokingly says, her middle name was picked out a long time ago. I wish my grandmother was here to witness this moment in person.


Ms. Sweetie, my cousin, was next to visit. By then I was getting really tired. The day was catching up to me and I was really lagging. She only stayed for a brief visit, and to gift me with some super adorable cutie clothes for the little girl. And then she and my parents took off to give me a break.






Finally Mrs. Dancer arrived with food in tow. Although I was told by my nurse when I ordered food that I would be able to eat, a nurse change happened right when Mrs. Dancer arrived at the hospital. Apparently I wasn’t going to be able to eat. Chicken broth and jello for me. BOO. Mrs. Dancer and Mr. Rogue at least got to eat and then Mrs. Dancer jumped on the adorable tiny baby.





And then it was the first night at the hospital. Mr. Rogue tried to sleep. I tried to get comfortable. The nurses came in what felt like every ten minutes. The baby made a noise, or wanted to be fed, or needed a diaper change all night. None of us slept well by any means… and I know that this is just day one of a hundred nights of no sleep… I wonder if I will ever sleep again.



Jennifer Arens said...

Your parents note on the flowers made me laugh! Congrats again! She is so precious!

paul peggy zeus said...

And three turn to four. Congrats on a perfect family. A boy and a girl, you couldn't ask for more. So happy to be there for you this time. Killed me to miss your first born, but it just could not be avoided with my surgery on that same day.

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