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Thursday, July 30, 2015

Bringing Baby Rose Home

I was really hoping to go home today. Mrs. Dancer had to go to work and so I was left for two hours on my own. I got up with the help of the nurses and showered and then I spoke at length to the pediatrician who came in to release my daughter from the hospital. We are having trouble breastfeeding. Something that came so easily and so naturally with my Little Cricket and I is so hard with this new little girl. The pediatrician strongly encouraged me to talk to the on call lactation consultant and thankfully she fit us in for an hour this morning (we were hoping to go home this afternoon). Apparently my hold is good, our positioning is good, her mouth is good (meaning no tongue ties), she just is what they call a lazy feeder. It is SO FRUSTRATING, she will latch, she will feed for a minute or two and then she will bite and tear off. My poor breasts are getting so tender and I am getting so upset with each feeding. It takes and hour sometimes two before she will eat anything that I feel like satisfies her, she will often fall asleep at the breast and then she is up within a half hour to 45 minutes to start the torture process all over again.

The lactation consultant was amazing and gave me a few pointers on how to move forward. She offered me syringe feeding, so as to avoid nipple confusion. She is hoping that by offering an ounce in the syringe first then my daughter will latch more easily on the breast. She left an hour later and I am hoping that we can get this worked out between us in the next week or two.

I quazi packed and organized some of my things and then I actually had a moment to myself. My baby was sleeping, there weren’t any nurses in the room, my family was gone.

I was ready to leave and get home, to my bed, to my shower, to my life and yet I was about to start off on a whole new life with a whole new little person. It was daunting. Two children completely dependent on me to teach them, raise them, love them. There was just a moment where I thought ‘what have I gotten myself into’.

And then Mr. Rogue and my mother arrived. Again, just like last time, Mr. Rogue and I sat and discussed names. We still didn’t have a name for our little girl and our discharge papers were coming in any minute. We went back and forth on the name for our baby, back and forth with the same exact arguments we have been having for months. One name was going to be super popular, one name was more unique, one name I had my heart set on for years, the other name was lovely yet without that connection. In the end Mr. Rogue and I still didn’t have a winning name. So I went with my gut. I told him her name and then he agreed and wrote it down on the paperwork. In ink. And then we both stared at each other and second guessed the name.

But it was done. We turned the paper in. And you know what I am so happy with her name. Sure it might be popular but I just don’t care. I love it.

Last time I gave birth I made the newbie mistake of not filling my prescriptions at the hospital. By the time we got home, got settled, I sent my husband out to get my pain pills and he got home with them I was in so much pain from all the moving around. This time I sent Mr. Rogue to get my prescriptions filled before we left the hospital. It made a WORLD of difference I tell you. As long as I stay on top of my pain meds this c-section has been bearable.

Finally we were all dressed, all our paperwork was complete and my Little Rose and I got discharged. It was time to get us home.

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We left my Little Rose in the car for a few minutes with my mother while I went into our house to greet my Little Cricket. I was anticipating hysteria, tears, joy, laughter, but all I got was a hey mom you are home. It was so anti-climactic. Like he didn’t even notice I was gone. I scooped him close next to my side on the couch and gave him lots of hugs and kisses, but it was obvious that I was way more emotional than he was. Its good though, it means that he was having a great time with my parents.

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Then we brought in my Little Rose to meet her big brother. Again my Little Cricket surprised me. He didn’t seem much interested in the new arrival. Because he is so young we had him sit on Mr. Rogue’s lap as we showed him how to touch his sister on the top of her head or her hands gently. It went well for a few minutes and then a lashing out rough touch scratched her nose. Ok enough sibling time for the moment. Once he was put back on the ground my Little Cricket proceeded to play and completely ignore his new sister. Well not exactly what I was imagining but better than him acting out or trying to kill her.

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There were plenty of hands and arms for my Little Cricket to play with and my Little Rose to cuddle in. I spent another hour or so downstairs before OH SO SLOWLY making my way up to my room. I got a shower in my shower, which felt heavenly, and then some pills before crawling into bed. SIGH. At last.

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2 comments:

Jennifer Arens said...

What is not to love about her name!?! Great job mom and dad!

paul peggy zeus said...

I guess we can't really expect too much from her two year old brother. I think you took the right steps greeting him first then introducing her, but hey.

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