Saturday, June 7, 2014

BBBS: Hard decisions

Life is full, my reserves are low, and I am having to modify things that I don’t want too in order to stay afloat. It comes in waves but being a mom makes me feel that nothing will get done the way I want it to again. And since I am such a control freak that is hard for me to handle. Case in point, I am a big sister for the Big Brothers, Big Sisters organization. I have been with my little and her wonderful family for a little over 6 years. Lately I have been struggline with keeping my own and my little families wants and needs let alone setting aside the time I should for my Little.

I have had debates with myself over and over about what to do. I don’t want to quit the program, I don’t want to leave my little, but I have so little energy, so little time to do even what needs to be done.

I struggled for a month.

In three days it’s my Little’s 16th birthday. And thinking about missing her big sweet sixteen sealed the deal. I am recommitted to keeping this relationship strong. I signed up for this, I made a promise, and its not this little girls fault that my big grown up life is getting busy. She needs me right now and I know I would evenentually regret letting that promise fall apart.

So I called her, I set up a Magic Mountain fun day for her birthday. And I am going to make this work. Fake it until you make it is my motto.

1 comment:

paul peggy zeus said...

You never take the easy road. I'm so proud of you for sticking it out with a baby. Even if you can't spend as much time with her. It's hard, but I think the rewards are fantastic for her, and one day, you will look back on this experience and be super proud of yourself. I think she will always be in your life. And as an adult, she will thank God for you.

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