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Saturday, October 12, 2013

My Little Shadow

Over the past six months my faithful loveable Rottweiler has started to fade at an exponential rate. He seems to be getting older every second in front of my eyes. And all these moments seems to propel him faster and faster away from me. Over the past week he has slid down the stairs a few steps at a time. When I took Rogue to the vet to get him checked out I point blank asked if I should just keep Rogue off of the stairs for good. Our vet encouraged us to keep him working on climbing them to build strength in his legs. His point was if he doesn’t use his muscles he will just keep getting worse. Already we have already cut out his walks because he just cannot do them. He goes a few houses and then sits. The last time I took him on a long walk we ended up at the vet and he ended up not being able to walk for days.

But then yesterday when I was walking down the stairs with the baby Rogue fell big time. He fell from the very top step all the way down. And I holding the baby at the top of the stairs could do nothing to stop it. Since then he hasn’t been able to walk well at all, not even the jerky old man walk he’s been sporting. He will take a few steps and then sort of topple over. We watched and waited all evening hoping that he would get better.

This morning it was the worse it has ever been. I gave him a dose of doggy Advil that my vet gave me last time we took him in for his legs but it didn’t seem to help at all. I offered him peanut butter, his all-time favorite, but even that couldn’t make him stand. So we gave him some space, to let the medicine work. Mr. Rogue found him an hour later sitting in a pool of his own urine. Heartbroken Mr. Rogue and I took him immediately into the vet. Apparently in the past two months, since his last visit, he has injured his spine and his back leg muscles have atrophied from lack of use. There is an injury in his spine that is preventing my beloved Rogue from using his back legs. The doctor did a pinch test and determined that Rogue can feel his back legs (those pinches hurt) but his ability to tell his legs what to do is deteriorating badly. I sat in the office with tears in my eyes trying to hold back the fountain of agony of listening to the words the vet was speaking. Doling out phrases like “quality of life” and “level of pain”. We were talking about my best furry friend.

We left the vet with a referral to a MRI specialist but without much hope. In essence we can get Rogue an MRI and find out exactly what is wrong with his spine however the vet said that there was probably nothing we could do about whatever we found. Rogue was too old for any of the surgeries that would potentially fix such an issue. I don’t even want to think about the vets other alternative. So for now we went home. Mr. Rogue will carry Rogue outside and up to his bed in our room for the next few days and we will see what happens.

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I am frozen with terror at losing my friend. The worst part is that his legs are failing him but he is still alert. He still knows me. He still wags his tail. He is still my first baby!

And so we will wait and pray that my old man gets better on his own.

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