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Friday, August 16, 2013

The Week in Moments: Three Months Old - 13 Weeks

My Little Cricket,

I have fed you pretty much every 2-3 hours for the past 91 days and I have to ask you aren’t you full yet? You are exclusively breast fed, except for that little bit of supplementation we had to do one day at the hospital, and I have to say it is AWESOME, AMAZING that everything you need you get from me. Sometimes I miss being pregnant, having you safe tucked away inside me, where I could protect you better. Breastfeeding you makes me feel still physically connected. And you know what, you are growing so fast, you are growing so big, my breasts are WORKING!!! I am doing a high five to myself in my head right now. Sure breastfeeding was incredibly hard in the beginning, but we are now rock stars.

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This week you officially outgrew your three month old clothing right on time, right on target, and yet I am not ready. Actually if I am being honest your clothes have been a bit snug for the past three weeks, I was just in denial. I cannot say anything other than I am a little in a daze how you are so big already. It’s all moving so FAST. And then in the next moment it feels like you have been here forever.

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So yesterday I went through your entire little wardrobe and I put all of the little tiny 0-3 month clothing into labeled boxes. Daddy put them in the attic where they will remain until baby number two arrives. Mr. Rogue and I want more children for sure, in fact I wish I was pregnant right now, however I am a little afraid of the logistics of more than one child. I wasn’t worried about having one, but having one and being pregnant…. Having two young children at the same time… and then if I am really crazy I think about having three.

Swoon.

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Anyways it was so sad folding up those little onsies that you will never wear again. My heart broke into a little million pieces because you grew out of them so fast. Then in the next moment I realized I get to go shopping for MORE adorable clothes and everything was better.

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You found your feet this week, and it is your new favorite go to toy. I lay you down and your feet go up to your face, I try to bathe you, change you, talk to you and you are only interested in putting your feet in your mouth. I love your fixation, the little furrowed brow of concentration you get on your face. It so reminds me of your father, that intense stare. Enjoy those feet little one!

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I think of how many wonderful things you brought into my life when you were born. One of them is the added love I feel for you father. Its amazing how great of a dad he is and there is something that stirs my heart to see the man I love with you, making you laugh, helping me. His growth into a father, holding you, the child that we made together; my love for him has grown even more, even bigger than I ever imagined. Such a wonderful surprising gift!

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