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Monday, June 17, 2013

The Week in Moments: One Month Old - 4 Weeks

I loved my weekly little letters when I was pregnant, I love going back and reading them, they remind me of where I was in those precious moments. So to continue keeping a record of little everyday things that I may forget I am going to write a monthly letter (because a weekly letter might be a little too obsessive even for me) to my Little Cricket highlighting all the wonderful, crazy, fun, dramatic, terrible, exciting things so these moments too can be visited again and again.

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My Little Cricket,

You are the light of my every day… I say that because you are amazing and because my days and nights no longer have anything to do with the sun! Today you are officially a month old and I am sitting here typing this with one hand because you are so precious I cannot bear to put you down. And as I typed that I looked down and you smiled in your sleep and in that moment I almost forgave you for the hours and hours and hours of sleep deprivation brain fog I have had to endure. If I didn’t have the most adorable baby in the universe where my brain literally seizes in rapture every time I look at you I would have given up long ago. Because mama loves her sleep sooooo much! I don’t know how women with ugly babies do it.

I am so super excited that you have blue. Sure its superficial, sure I am just happy that you are healthy and have working eyes, but I always imagined a brown eyed baby. My whole immediate family and I have brown eyes and I thought that brown was dominant. So I just assumed you would have brown eyes. When you came out and I saw that you had blue eyes I fell in love with them. I know babies eyes can change but I hope they stick.

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I have done more Google searches this month than ever, mostly revolving around poop or random arm movements or hiccups and a million other crazy things. Which leads me to two realizations. The first is that seriously how did women do this whole mother thing before the Internet. And the second who knew I would become so obsessed with someone else’s poop schedule

Anyways I am getting off track. I had an outline but I am so sleep deprived this letter may come out a little less thought out than I would have liked. My Little Cricket you love being swaddled. In fact Mr. Rogue and I call you our little burrito all the time because you are swaddled so much. Mr. Rogue in fact is becoming the most excellent burrito man. He was so worried becoming a new father knowing nothing about babies but he is doing great, and he is ecstatic when I compliment his burrito wrapping skillz. Anyways my little man you love being wrapped up except just when you are about to fall asleep as the happiest little burrito man in the world you get pissed. It took us a few days to figure out that you like to feel safe and secure and get all droopy eyed and snuggly swaddled but once you are just on the precipice of sleep you want your hands free so you can put them by your face. This is just one of those wonderful little idiosyncrasies that make you independently and awesomely you but it is also oh so frustrating because you don’t read about these kind of things in any baby book. These are the things that we just have to all figure out together as a new little family.

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When you were first born I got a little obsessive about your weight and how much you were eating but by week two you had a growth spurt and looked like you tripled in size. No worries here anymore you are now a plump little guy, your arms and legs have filled out, your little scrawny neck now has an oh so adorable triple chin and I am just in love showering your fat little checks with kisses. Fat, I have been informed is not a word that is allowed in this house… instead we are to call them plump… plump little checks!

Your pediatrician recommended that your dad and I give you tummy time three days a week and there is nothing that you hate more than tummy time. The second we flip you on your stomach so you can work out your little arms and neck you get pissed. Like screaming bloody murder, someone is gouging out your eyes pissed. Thankfully as the weeks went by you have been getting stronger and better able to tolerate this torture we inflict on you. Now you wait a minute or two before screaming your head off and you can actually pick up your head for a few seconds.

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Speaking of your head, well its rather large, in fact your head is hitting the 90th percentile. Your father and I are convinced it is to house your super large brain. I also love hats, and I bought WAY too many in some people’s opinion. Seeing as we live in LALA land, where it is often sunny and 80 degrees, they could possibly be right. However I would have to argue that they are just so dang cute and worth every penny, even if you only are wearing them around our air conditioned house.

Your belly button fell off the morning of the 27th and since I had been anticipating its departure I wasn’t too upset. I didn’t get upset until the very next day when I went to change your diaper and there was blood everywhere. Apparently your belly button had bled a little, according to Google this is perfectly normal, but in that moment I was sure that we had managed to somehow kill you. Thankfully I was wrong. Hey I guess that is something to celebrate.

You aren’t a drooly baby (as of yet) which I am thankful for but you do spit up and poop on everything every chance you have thus forcing me to change you into a new sweet little outfit and wrap you in a different gorgeous blanket and do another load of crappy laundry. Thank goodness we have a washer and dryer in our house, you parents that manage to drag everything to the laundry mat once a week I applaud you, because the amount of baby laundry is STAGGERING. I can’t wait to teach you how to do your own laundry, hopefully soon! I am hoping to have the first three year old that does laundry and brings me hot dogs in a bun with mustard. One can dream I suppose.

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I read so much material and had long discussions with my therapist about postpartum depression. People with past depression have a higher risk and since I have battled depression in the past she was worried about me. I have to say that your birth has made me happier than I have ever been. There hasn’t been any moments of doubt, no times where I worried about ruining my life, no moments of panic. Maybe because I have wanted you for so long or maybe because I always knew I wanted to be a mom. Regardless of the reason I am happy to say that I have embraced this new role as a mom with happy open arms. I’m not saying that the past month hasn’t been hard, really really hard but I can honestly say that 95% of that is going certifiably insane from sleep deprivation. I often cannot make coherent decisions; I am forgetting things so much Mr. Rogue is questioning my sanity. In fact he now double checks or leaves me little notes to triple remind me of things I need to do. I am just having the hardest time being completely beholden to another’s sleep schedule. You sleep in random 90 minute sprints. And for me, a sleep loving mama, that is just too little sleep. So other than the constant feeling of delirium, I am happy!

At least when you wake me up you are adorable. You have these sweet little grunts and sighs and gurgles that say “Please come get me now because I am awake and very very cute!” And if I don’t come and get you quick enough because maybe, just maybe if I pretend you aren’t calling out for me to feed you you will go back to sleep, you start really crying. Even when you are crying you have the most adorable little quivering bottom lip. Oh yeah, you also grunt like a little pig when you are eating and just when you begin to fall back asleep you smile.

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These moments, this first month of your life, it is the best gift ever!

Love,
Mama

2 comments:

paul peggy zeus said...

The birth of a baby is the best blessing ever. Adorable Photos of cricket. I can see he is getting bigger by the minute.

Jennifer Arens said...

Cute hat!

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