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Monday, May 6, 2013

Baby Brain: Apt with OBGYN

Continuing in the weight gain department I gained another 3 pounds this week… whooooa nelly! I blame the fact that for the first time this week I have bloated up like a little blimp. My fingers are actually stiff in the morning and I can tell I am retaining more water in my ankles. Of course I could follow my doctors suggestion and cut back on the salt but GOD how I love salt. I just don’t know if I could cut back… maybe just a little bit.

In other news the baby this week is flipped even more out of position. At 38 weeks our little cricket should be in place, head down, nestled snuggly between my hips with a score of -1 to -3. Right now he is stubbornly transversal, which means he is sideways with his little back pointing down. His face above one hip and his little bum on the other with feet and arms pointing right into my rib cage. Which would explain all the punching and kicking I have been feeling in my lungs… thanks kid!

It is also starting to get worrisome that I haven’t dilated at all and that I haven’t had any contractions. My body just isn’t getting ready for delivery. My doctor was explaining to me that with some pregnancies doctors could say that the due date might be off. As in the mother miscalculated the start of her last period or the doctor had to guess at the ovulation date which can be later or earlier than the norm per a woman’s cycle. However with the fertility treatment I took to get pregnant with this baby my doctor knows the exact 24 hour window that I ovulated which leaves no question how far along I am.

I was unprepared for the talk. She mentioned that there is now a real possibility of needing a caesarian. I have read so many books and watched so many videos of natural births because that is what I have always wanted. Sure I also read some on a caesarean because it could be a possibility in case of an emergency but I was completely unprepared to have to maybe prepare to schedule a caesarean.

It isn’t want I want. It isn’t how I planned. I left the office in a daze. My options were to come in next week. If the baby is in a downward position, if he has dropped, if I start dilating then we will wait another 4 days and see. If he hasn’t progressed at all then we will have to schedule the caesarean.

I left the office in a daze. I spoke to my husband and then I had lunch with my sister-in-law. She is a nurse, she has had two caesareans and she made me focus on the goal; to have a healthy baby no matter the method of the birth. Nothing else in the grand scheme of things really matters. So I just have to realign my thinking, try to adjust to this potential big change, and try to be ok with not having control again over this pregnancy.

I didn’t have control over my two past miscarriages, I didn’t have control getting pregnant and now I don’t have control over how I am going to give birth. I am at the mercy of being out of control. I hate it but it is starting to fit more naturally in my control freak world.

On a more funny note I think Ms. Pool Shark was more upset than I was.

050613_poolSharkConvo

1 comment:

paul peggy zeus said...

One thing is true about babies, nothing can truly be planned. Expect the unexpected for ever more.

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