Monday, October 15, 2012

The Hood Fan has PMS

When we bought our previous home we knew we were getting a fixer upper. Everything pretty much had to be gutted and replaced. I thought when we bought this home, a brand new, never been lived in home, that we wouldn’t have any issues for YEARS. It is the main reason we picked this home vs. other homes, there was no way I was going through construction debacles and dealing with contractors all the time while I was supposed to be trying to stay calm so we could get pregnant. Little did I know that new does not mean problem free.

Mr. Rogue and I love to cook. We cook often together spending hours in the kitchen and we adore the process of cooking as much as the eating of the delicious food we make. I was a little disappointed in the stove in this new house. In our previous home we really went all out in getting exactly the stove we wanted. Cooking so often we spend a ton of time with the stove and it makes a difference. However this stove was brand new when we moved in and since my husband was busy at work and since I had to organize, pack and get moved pretty much all by myself I opted to just not try and deal with selling the stove we had and trying to get another one. I just didn’t have the energy. I have since learned to tolerate my stove. Sure I wish I had a double oven like my last one, sure I wish it had a proofing feature so I could make homemade bread easier, but it isn’t a bad stove… we have learned to play nice.

The hood fan however is a different story. What looks like a normal, quazi modern, efficient hood fan is in fact a moody teenager with a split personality problem in disguise. AKA the hood fan was very picky about doing its job. The first meal that we cooked at home, a chicken dish that takes a few hours to make, turned into an ear piercing debacle. The hood fan said, you know what? I don’t like chicken. You can’t make me.

Apparently the sucking feature, even on high, even with the windows all open, does not sufficiently work for our home. Either our ceilings are too high, or the stove just puts off more heat than it should, whatever the issue two or three times a week it always ends the same way. Mr. Rogue looked at the manual and apparently it more than the correct suckage for our brand of stove. We have concluded our hood fan just has PMS.

If we are not careful, if we don’t talk to the hood fan and tell it what a good job it’s doing while we are cooking, it just gives up. Really it wouldn’t be such an issue but we have the top of the line, worlds most sensitive fire alarms in this house that are all circuited together. And when the hood fan gets moody the fire alarm has a tantrum and we are left with blaring sirens for a few minutes.

In frustration one day I had my rent a husband disconnect the fire alarms in just the kitchen and the family room? It was a blissful period in my relationship with the hood fan. The alarms didn’t go off… that is until the middle of the night about a week later. We were sleeping and the alarms stared blaring at 3:15 in the morning. It took us over 20 minutes to figure out that the alarm just decided that they didn’t want to be separated anymore. Apparently you cannot just disconnect some alarms from a connected system… sigh.

Currently I am looking for a new hood fan. The neighbors, who have to listen to our alarm going off a few times a week, probably think that I am the world’s worst cook; that I burn everything. And frankly I might just take a baseball bat to the hood fan and the alarm system one day. And when Mr. Rogue asks I will just tell him that the pregnancy hormones made me do it.


paul peggy zeus said...

The baseball bat may not be a bad idea, and it would make a super funny post. Unfortunately new is not always flawless, you are so right.

Jess said...

Heheheheh, well, the truth of that statement might not be too far off. A couple more months and you just might actually do that!! xo

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