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Friday, May 11, 2012

Depression: Groundhog’s Day

Yes I know it isn’t the official Groundhog’s Day, I am not referring to the day, but the movie. You know the comedy starring Bill Murry where he finds himself repeating the same day over and over again.

Call it running on a hamster wheel, call it Groundhog’s Day, call it whatever you want but in the end it is always the same. I am stuck.

Stuck beating myself up for not having all the answers...

Stuck trying to deal with selfish people in my life who hurt me...

Stuck with an eating disorder and a weight problem...

Stuck not pregnant without children....

Stuck without a job or a purpose...

Stuck in some kind of horrible limbo...

Stuck in a cage with an unknown unreachable future.

So I wait, and I try, and I fail, and I try again. I need a new chapter soon. I need to get to the next day.

5 comments:

Jennifer Arens said...

Wish i had some sort of advice for ya kiddo :(

Jess said...

xoxo

Inzodda said...

What you don't realize is that you are NOT STUCK. Every step you make in the hope of progression is proof of not being stuck. You may fail, and fail again, but FAILURE and STUCK are two completely different things. And the funny thing about failure is as long as you keep trying, muster up the strength to give it one more try, well that my dear is when success may just hit. I love you. Try not to judge people around you too harshly, perhaps they are not being selfish, perhaps they too are just failing, but hope to try again.

Inzodda said...

p.s. Never, NEVER, give up on a better you. Never give up on the idea of a better life, and of being even happier. Most importantly, never give up on your dreams! Dreams may change, but never give up on one that feeds your soul.

paul peggy zeus said...

Maybe it's time for you to get out there and really do something concrete. Something that will take the center of attention away from your woes, something that will make you feel fulfilled and enlightened. Perhaps a class, perhaps a job, perhaps volunteering. You have too many hours at home alone. It's just my opinion, but I think you need to be surrounded more with people. Find what brings you joy, then go for it!

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