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Monday, July 11, 2011

Baby Brain: A High Risk OBGYN

So I now have had two miscarriages and I still don’t have any reasons why. I have theories and guesses but nothing concrete. In an effort to find some answers, and following the recommendation of my sister-in-law Mrs. Fruit I made an appointment for a high risk OBGYN. Today I walked into her office, filled out the required paperwork and then sat for forty five minutes waiting for my appointment. I wouldn’t mind the waiting so much if there weren’t wonderfully fertile pregnant goddesses walking past me every few minutes. It’s like a mental torture chamber in there.... yea awesome.

By the time I got called into the back I was an emotional mess and I was trying desperately to keep my cool. I got my blood pressure checked, I got weighted and then shown to my exam room to wait some more. At least in the rooms they had OK magazine... that there is some good worthless, keep my mind off the need to break down and cry, trash.

Someone in scrubs, dressed just like the other girls in the office, bustled in and rapidly starting firing off questions; reflexively I started answering with no emotion like a zombie. 10 minutes in and I was confused. The woman hadn’t introduced herself and I couldn’t tell if she was just another nurse or the doctor. It was a little weird too, she was in her late forties but had on a ton of makeup and pretty sparkly pink glitter toe nail polish that I would imagine more on an eight year old little girl than a grown woman. I have this horrible habit of taking in everything around me, I remember answering the questions and wondering if other people that sat in the chair before me today had noticed the glitter polish.

I was a mess of emotion, hurt because I desperately want a baby and was surrounded by baby stuff and glowing pregnant women, aggravated at the long unexplained and un-apologetic wait, pissed that I still weighed too much, and confused about who this strange woman was that hadn’t introduced herself. The question probably came out a little bit more harsh than I had planned, I actually just interrupted her because the question firing hadn’t stopped for a moment.

“Are you the doctor?” I asked.

“Yes, I am the doctor... and I am going to do everything I can to make sure you have a healthy happy baby by the end of next year.” And for the first time since she walked into the room she made eye contact with me. She said it was a sweet smile on her face, a slight tilt to her head, a look in her eyes that said she understood the inner torment I have been going through. My eyes swam with tears... that is exactly the thing I needed to hear at that moment, that everything was going to be ok, that I will have a child of my own soon. And just when I thought that I might really like this woman she stood up and gave me a hug.

Over the course of the next hour we talked about my history, my miscarriages, she scrutinized all the results of tests and procedures I have had in the past two years and then we just talked about all the options. She was extremely patient in explaining everything to me, I felt like I was heard and she had some new ideas of what could potentially could be wrong. In the end she wants a few more tests done. A more extensive thyroid test, another hormone test and genetic screening for both myself and Mr. Rogue. Test results should be back in the next two weeks and in the mean time I was told to go home and try and get pregnant again.

Sparkly toe nail polish and funny makeup or not I love this woman and walked out of that office refilled with hope for the future.

6 comments:

Jess said...

YAY!! New Doc, New Hope! I'm so glad that you went to someone new. I wanted to strangle your last one after what she told you. I love you! Love and lots of hugs.

dcjs said...

Sounds like you are at the right place!

Inzodda said...

It is always an intelligent move to get a second opinion!! I am so happy that you found someone who is exploring different options and in your corner!! :) xoxoxo

lilmansworld said...

You ever think that all those 'fertile' women may have suffered what you have recently? I'm sure all those women hated that first appt too....just sayin. I love how you took control of that meeting girl! I sincerely hope that you will have what she wants you to have as well!

Anonymous said...

im happy youre hopeful and that being my sis-in-law, i feel better you sought second opinion and very sure youre in good hands now :)

mrs. fruit

paul peggy zeus said...

I think a specialist is an EGGsellent idea! She should be able to help you have a successful pregnancy instead of your old Doc's advise - try, try again and see what happens.

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