Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Baby Brain: Tests, Tests and more Tests

I went into my OBGYN’s office today with such a heavy heart. The waiting room was filled with glowing pregnant women and even one woman who was obviously there for her post delivery appointment with her brand new baby. Like a knife to my heart I sat there, my womb empty yet again, my dreams crushed and jealous of all the happy obvious fertility surrounding me.

And then I got called to the back and was weighed… AWESOME!

My doctor did an ultrasound while I was there just to confirm that I had in fact lost the pregnancy… I had no false allusions that I was still pregnant… she confirmed that I had miscarried. Then the real fun began. My doctor ran numerous tests. She confirmed that she still believes that I lost the last baby because of a chromosomal issue and she thinks that I lost this baby for a completely different reason.

Thankfully during all her tests she found something wrong with me. I say thankfully because it is something I can be proactive about, and it is treatable. The words you can get pregnant and deliver a healthy baby kept being uttered and that is what I wanted to hear.

I think if I was told I could NEVER have children I would have lost it. Hope is the only thing I am clinging too right now.

First my doctor believes I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. During the ultrasound she spent quite a bit of time trying to get a better view of my ovaries and she found tiny cysts all over both of them. They are about the size of peas and hard to identify but they are there. PCOS is a common hormonal disorder for women and I have all the symptoms. Symptoms that I explained away thinking that they were caused by other factors.

SYMPTOM 1 - Infrequent or prolonged menstrual cycles: before I got pregnant the first time I missed my period two times. Both times was a time where I was stressing about something and I just assumed that my body was reacting to the stress. Since I lost the first pregnancy my cycle has been erratic which I explained away because my hormones are all over the place.

SYMPTOM 2 – Excess hair growth: I have always had dark thick hair but ever since I got pregnant the first time it seems to me to be worse. I just assumed again it was hormone related because of the pregnancy.

SYMPTOM 3 – Obesity: who knew my friggin weight gain which I thought was from my severe depression could be in part or all because of this stinking undiagnosed syndrome. See maybe I am not a slacker, loser, weak woman like I thought I was. This syndrome actually screws my body’s ability to use insulin effectively to regulate my blood sugar.

So as well as the PCOS my doctor also believes I have a progesterone problem. Basically progesterone is critical to preparing the lining of the uterus to receive the fertilized egg. She believes that I lost this pregnancy because my body needs help producing progesterone.

Obviously these are both just her opinion. I have to go tomorrow for blood tests and in two weeks those test will say for sure whether or not I have one or both of these issues. In the mean time I am supposed to let my body get back to normal. Let my crazy two lost pregnancies in 6 months hormone rollercoaster settle down and wait for the results of the blood work.

Again I am waiting, this time I may have more answers but it does not help with the fact that again I have lost my baby.


paul peggy zeus said...

Finally something positive that you can deal with. Thankfully it can be treated and with the proper care and medication, you are a candidate for a beautiful healthy baby.

lilmansworld said...

That is good news that things are treatable. Waiting is hard!

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