Sunday, December 12, 2010

BBBS 35: Harry Potter and the Deadly Hallows

I needed something low key to do with my little today, I was still on medical rest so roller skating was out, and since both Ms. Little and I still hadn’t seen the new Harry Potter and the Deadly Hallows we decided that was our destination. I haven’t seen her in two months. With me pregnant and sick often, traveling so much last month and then losing the baby I just didn’t have time or was sick (you are encouraged to see your little twice a month). Although I called, texted and sent her postcards during my absence it is still hard for a little girl to understand the complexities of life.

I was surprised when I picked her up how much had happened in those two months. Her twin sister who is also in the BBBS program lost her second big in two years. Her first big got breast cancer and moved back east to be closer to her family during treatment and now her second just got married and opted out because she no longer has time. We will therefore be taking Ms. Little’s twin out more often with us since the her twin is disappointed and does not want to be matched again.

Her brother joined a gang and proceeded to get into a mountain of trouble. He is now facing a violence charge, a mark on his record and a $5000.00 dollar fine... he is 13 years old.

Also the African Americans at her school started a war against the Mexicans which included lots of flights, riots and some guns. Her mother immediately took the kids out of school and moved them to another one... this is sadly now the fourth school the kids have been “moved” to in the two years I have known them. Of course they live in Compton in section 8 housing and live off welfare and food stamps; her mother has little choice in the schools she can send the kids.

It just breaks my heart when this little twelve year old girl starts talking to me about guns and riots, more disappointments and scary change. When I was her age I was thinking about rainbows and bunnies; my world was filled with a protection and innocence that she cannot even comprehend. It is hard for her to be in this mess and it is hard for me to watch it happen.

The point of the BBBS relationship is not to replace the mother, its not to preach or drastically change the way the little’s life is, but it is to mentor and help where you can. That balance is hard. Our relationship sometimes reminds me of that movie “The Blind Side” with Sandra Bullock, I balled during the entire movie and so many points reminded me of my little.

There is a part of the movie about the bedroom. Sandra, taking the boy into her home buys a bed and gives him his own room. When she shows him he is in awe and says “I never had one before.” Sandra smiles and says “What your own room?”... “No” he says “A bed”. She left the room with tears in her eyes.

So many times she will drop a comment or tell me about something in her life and it will totally take me by surprise. Something like how her cat got torn apart right in front of her eyes by some boys and their big Rottweilers and PittBulls. The things she has been through; living out of a car for years, the drugs and violence and men in her mother’s life for the first 8 years of my little’s life, the things that she has seen, the experiences she has had that I wish I could fix I know I can do nothing about... instead all I hope for is to give her what I can to help where she is now and hope that makes a difference.


Jess said...

WEll, now that I've had my morning cry. I wish I was as strong as you are sometimes. My dream is that someday you are standing by her side, and she has just graduated from highschool...

paul peggy zeus said...

I'm sure you two will remain friends long after she is all grown up with children of her own. You can''t imagine the impact you are having on her life and it's ALL GOOD!

lilmansworld said...

good job to you hands down :) you don't take pity, you take action!

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