Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Baby Brain: Two Pink Lines

I had missed my period again it seemed. Over the past nine months Mr. Rogue and I have been trying to get pregnant I have missed two periods and this one seemed like the third. Sadly, according to my doctor, those missed periods have to do with stress, stress from attempting to deal with and tackle my depression. Although I felt like I was making excellent headway with my therapist I was still frustrated. I attributed this missed cycle to stress again. After all I just got back from almost a month traveling in Europe, I did just get over a two week illness so terrible I was bedridden for a week. All those logical thoughts however did me no good, I still lamented when was I ever going to get pregnant without a consistent ovulation cycle?

When I first missed my period this month there was the initial old hope of those past two times, hope that MAYBE THIS MONTH WAS THE MONTH but when I took the test two weeks ago it came out negative… and then when I took a backup test in hope a week ago it was another negative. Sadly it seemed like this month was not the month either.

But then this morning I woke up with the most horrible nausea. As I laid there trying to calm my roiling stomach I thought that MAYBE just maybe I could be pregnant, even with those two negative tests, maybe I should try another. It was 9:07 in the morning, I got out of bed, went to the restroom and peed on yet another stick and waited. I remembered thinking I was so sick of waiting, when was it going to be my turn. And then there were two lines.

My heart rate accelerated, AT LAST I WAS PREGNANT. But before I started my happy dance I took another, just to be sure. Again two lines… that coupled with how tired I have felt over the past few days as well as the nausea this morning convinced me that my time was NOW.


Of course Mr. Rogue wasn’t home and I couldn’t tell him over the phone, this was not a phone thing it was a tell your spouse in person kind of thing. Since I wasn’t sure ever when he is going to arrive and because I was too impatient to wait I decided to text him that we needed to have dinner. It was all set I would pick him up from work at 8 and we would have dinner before I had to drop him back off at work. Not exactly my perfect scenario, I would rather tell him RIGHT NOW, but I will take what I can get.

Too excited to go back to bed I headed out. I need to buy more prenatal vitamins (I had already been taking them for nine months so my body is all set), I wanted to get a different brand of pregnancy test just to be triply sure, and I wanted to get a cute surprise for Mr. Rogue to give him tonight.

AHHHH Babies R Us, the Mecca of all things baby. Even though I have been in this store countless of times for baby shower presents it hit me hard walking in there pregnant. I knew I wouldn’t be buying things for months yet but I still wandered around for about an hour touching little booties and lightly caressing satiny blankets, wondering at the enormity of the stroller section and getting a little bit overwhelmed by all the gorgeous little babies being strolled around by their mommies. Soon, in just nine short months, I will hopefully be doing the same thing.


Focusing I headed to the bibs section, I didn’t need to get anything extravagant just something small to give Mr. Rogue and I found the perfect thing.


I got home at noon, still hours before I would meet my husband and share my wonderful news with him. I took the other brand test that I bought and again there were two lines. Three tests, two different brands that pretty much sealed the deal for me.


I am so incredibly happy I feel like I am going to burst.

Later that evening a bundle of nerves I waited in the car outside Mr. Rogues work. I was early so I very impatiently waited going over and over in my mind how to tell him. When he finally slipped in the car and I was able to share the news that he would get to be a daddy soon we both teared up. I gave him his gift and we immediately launched into a hundred conversations about the how’s and when’s, planning for the start of our addition to our family.


Instead of going to our normal, sneak out of work to have dinner with your wife mom and pop Italian restaurant around the corner, Mr. Rogue took me to a trendy and fancy restaurant where we would have normally splurged on a great bottle of wine to celebrate. Instead I sipped my iced water and we clasped hands and whispered about dreams for the future. We are both so excited.



Oh my goodness I am growing a tiny little baby inside me, it is so surreal.


lilmansworld said...

The beginning of this blog post was reminiscent of the movie 'knocked up' lol. I am so happy for you both to be able to share in the amazing world of parenthood. Its a new lesson everyday!

Jess said...

A million times YAYYYYYY!!!!! So happy for you darling :) Can't wait!!!

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