Monday, April 19, 2010

The Army Wife

I frequently find myself in situations or places where my lack of husband at my side leaves me with difficult questions to answer. You see my loveable, wonderful, hardworking husband loves his job and his job just so happens to require SUPER LONG HORRIBLE HOURS every other summer. Hours that leave him at work for 43 hours straight (I got home Saturday afternoon and still have not seen him at home yet) and I find that sometimes it is harder on the person waiting quazi-patiently at home than the one who is off working so hard.

Now I am not complaining too much, his dedication to his job allows us to have certain luxuries at home and it is not like I did not know what I was getting myself into when we first started dating but it does require a certain amount of adjusting and it is difficult at times. When planned and approved vacations get gobbled up by work, when my husband comes home and he is a zombie because he is so tired, when I am left alone AGAIN to go to yet another party to explain why they have not seen my husband in months it is hard but I try very very hard not to get upset and make the situation worse. Instead I fill my time with things that keep me occupied until crunch is over and my husband comes home.

I find the hardest part of him working so much is my transition from having a husband to not having a husband and back again. When his work ramps up and he becomes more and more absent I become more and more independent taking over things that he would normally do until I am feeling like I don’t have a husband at all. I watch movies alone without someone next to me that I can turn to and laugh with, I hang out constantly with my girlfriends and lately even started taking trips alone. That transition is a little bit difficult but once I get there it becomes that pattern that my life is. Fast forward to when the project is over I suddenly have to cut back on all my time filler activities and make room again in my life for my husband who now has all the time in the world to pay attention to me. Generally we reconnect with a vacation, this year will be no different we are already beginning to plan for one. So I find those transition moments harder than once I get into the swing of things.

Mr. Rogue and I have often stated that there are other women who have it worse, women whose husbands are in the army for instance when they don’t see them for months on end, where they are constantly worried about their safety and whether they will come home at all. I am thankful that I have a husband who loves me, who is dedicated to his job and who always comes home at night eventually.


paul peggy zeus said...

He is lucky not to have a cling on for a wife - someone who is capable of occupying her time with her many interests, friends and talents. I'm glad that it doesn't get under your skin, because, yes, that could make it much more difficult for him!!

lilmansworld said...

AKA Chef Wife. It is so hard, you have your days to love it and to hate it. that is why a marriage is a game of give and take. people say it gets easier and I think eventually yes, but it definitely sucks big time

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