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Tuesday, February 23, 2010

The Challenges we All Face

I just finished reading Ms. Eden’s success with her long journey of weight loss. Aside from being completely jealous of her transformation I am more proud of her and her overwhelmingly focused achievement and I can see the work I need to do to follow in her footsteps; the dedication to workout, the dedication to a very strict diet and the dedication to not deviate. She is an inspiration and I need to sit up, grab a notepad, and follow in her very successful footsteps. Although Mr. Rogue and I have made major changes in the way food is viewed and used ‘in this house’ and we have dedicated ourselves to exercising more there are still more changes that need to be made. Things that I have been cheating with, things I love, like pasta.

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I have gotten to the point where I CAN keep it out of the house for the most part, but saying NO to Olive Garden, like today, is just tough. UMMM Pasta!

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The thing is that I stay focused for a while. Over the past five months I have lost 14 pounds and I am really proud of myself. But then I will have a moment, a moment were I get distracted from my end goal, a moment that derails my hard work. That moment could be caused by stress, or old habits, or even bright shiny lights. Whatever that distraction it makes me regret my actions afterwards and it takes me DAYS to get back to focusing on what I really want.

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With anything challenging I tend to jump all in or all out, I know what the problems, the diet coke addiction which in turn does not allow me to drink enough water, the love of sweets (see my downfall over those the past couple of days in the recipes I have been cooking), my love of pasta, and lazily skipping exercising when we have a gym right in the house. This is where I need the strength to say no to my bad habits and really change those last few things. The problem is that these addictions ARE SO DAMN GOOD!

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Seriously half the time I cannot control what I am doing. One moment I am happily taking a walk with the dogs in my neighbourhood enjoying the sunshine, my furry companions, and the exercise; the next moment I am sitting at a cafe cramming 24 donuts in my face while the little old man sitting next to me watches me with HORROR IN HIS EYES and the dogs look on with pleading expressions that I should JUST WALK AWAY. Ok that may be a slight exaggeration it was only 23 donuts and I am sure the dogs were not pleading for my well being but begging to have just a tiny bit for their own.

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I know I will find a way to break the cycle of self sabotage eventually and I am VERY PROUD of the huge steps Mr. Rogue and I have made. It is just frustrating to admit that sometimes I am not strong enough to just stop.

So here it is my struggle to keep trying, I will keep getting up after every minor step-back because I will succeed and I have people like Ms. Eden to draw inspiration from. I am SO INCREDIBLY PROUD OF YOU MS. EDEN.

P.S. please God help me stay away from pasta, although Baby Fruit seemed to enjoy it tremendously.

3 comments:

Jess said...

Sigh, You and me both darling! And we're horrible influences. Next time we go to lunch we're going someplace other than Olive Garden. Maybe we should have just had a picnic. You could have brought your healthy lunch and I could have brought mine! Ms. Eden is definitely an inspiration. And I am frustrated that I seem so weak by comparison!!!!

lilmansworld said...

DMB said it best: Eat, Drink, and Be Merry! You are healthy, you hike, eat whatever you want!

paul peggy zeus said...

You are eating better (minus the cookies and pasta) and you HAVE lost weight - don't lose sight of your accomplishments so far - keep up the good habits and good things will happen. I too have struggled with my weight for many years, and know how hard it is, but keep doing the right things and we just have to keep on trying.

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