Wednesday, January 20, 2010

The Princess and the Pea

Los Angeles, I have found, is incapable of functioning when ANY type of weather other than our perfect idyllic sunny cloudless days appear. It is as if there is an enemy force invading and the whole city breaks out in chaos. No one knows how to drive, people complain constantly about the wet stuff dripping, everyone is in a crappy mood because there is no sun I mean how are we all supposed to work on our tan for heaven’s sake! I have to say that today I think I took the final step and can now call myself a true sunny southern Californian, I complained about the weather.

Now this may not seem like a big deal but I grew up on the east coast where the winters got so cold it would freeze the mucus in your nose the second you walked out the door, where the snow piled so high you could not FIND YOUR CAR, where the wind blew so hard it literally blew cars off the road. Michigan, were I grew up to the budding age of 18, has some of the most majestic thunderstorms I have ever seen. Raging torrents tearing the sky apart and thunder and lightning that seem to have no end.

I took that final step today because I come from heartier stock than complaining about a bit of rain or so I thought. I was on the phone with Ms. Ivey League wondering aloud if I was going to brave the “RAIN” (insert incredulous high pitch whine) and go grocery shopping or if I was just going to never leave until the sun came out again.

Ms. Ivey League bitch slapped me over the phone talking about her 10 degree weather, the fact that she has to dig her car out every morning, the fact that if you can see your hand in front of your face outside it is a good day, and that she has to walk uphill both ways trudging in 10 foot snow in a burlap sack in order to get from classroom to classroom on her campus.

I was sufficiently subdued, after all she was right, California has such perfect magical weather that it has transformed me into a weather sissy. My comfy spoiled living has me treating this tiny rainstorm as if there were a huge rock stuck in my mattress instead of the tiny pea it is compared with most people.

How am I ever going to survive anywhere else.


paul peggy zeus said...

I can't believe my princess has turned out to be a weather sissy - Tell me I did not just read that! Hurray for Lindsay for slapping you back into reality!

lilmansworld said...

They say weather changes a person. Grass is always greener, we miss florida most days.

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