Implosion

Whenever there is a problem in my life I tend to implode. With chaos going on all around me I like to be at home, generally alone, and either I stay in bed and try to block out the sun OR I find horribly mundane or time consuming things to keep me busy. Today I was attempting to dull my worry over Mishka and I sank into a million things. I baked, I cooked, I cleaned and I re-organized the kitchen cabinets; I was a hive of activity ALL DAY LONG. Tomorrow I am off to Palm Springs with the girls and there I will use my backup imploding method, lots and lots of alcohol.

Mishka by the way is doing a bit better, although the vet warns me not to get my hopes up she is responding well to the treatment, and she seems to be perking up a little more. I am not allowed to see her because of her weakened immune system but they assure me that they are doing everything in their power to save her little 9 week old life. If she keeps on this track she will be home soon. I hope to God that it happens.

Animal Jesus

Even though today is such a terrible day and I am super depressed about Mishka, I decided to still go to my S class and keep my commitment to join my friends for dinner after to celebrate Ms. Soul’s birthday. Dragging myself out of the house was hard but once I got there I slipped into a more comfortable happy me because I was surrounded by a group of such wonderful women and because S just kicks ass like that. No matter what mood I am in when I walk in those doors it is changed to a buzzing hive of happiness when I walk out two hours later. S is defiantly my type of heroin.

As always sushi after class was a varied group of fantastic women seemly unconnected and an odd group from all different walks of life, diverse careers, dissimilar cultures and various ages; but somehow this one movement brings us all to a level playing field, it gives us a central pivot point that we can circle around and we have become a close-knit groups of friends (with some occasional newbie’s added in).

Of course the conversation included so many random subjects including my little baby sick Mishka. I am grateful that Mr. Rogue and I choose her because we are able to at least give her a chance to get better but I am also sad she is sick and depressed that there is not more that I can do. Talking about Mishka brought up my past experience with acquiring a sick pet, Seurat, so I have been now dubbed ‘Animal Jesus’ and I think I am going to have it tattooed on my forarm so that every time I lose my mind and do something completely crazy I can raise up my sleeve and look at this nickname and say to myself ‘There was a point in time I did something good so I know I am not COMPLETELY insane’.

I soooo wish I could claim ‘Dog Whisper’ because Cesar Millan is a FRIGGIN genius but since that is already taken then I will accept the second best title that Ms. Soul gave me ‘Animal Jesus’.

Happy Birthday - we love you Ms. Soul! Even when you are off doing shots with random hot guys!

Super Sick Baby

Mishka has Parvo and it is very serious. After sitting up with her all night with extensive vomiting and diarrhea at 7:45am when my vet opened I was there with her and we got back her fecal results. She does have worms but not enough to create the kind of rapid decline that the doctor was seeing in my puppy. So we spent an hour doing a bunch of blood tests and it ends up she has Parvo which is a serious disease. And it is even worse because it hits the breed of Rottweiler’s and Dobermans even harder than other breeds and Mishka is a Rottweiler mix. I opted for the emergency 24 hour care that the vet could give even though I longed to keep her with me. My vet recommended that she would have a much better chance if she was monitored with the proper IV for food and water. Reluctantly I parted with my puppy and came home alone. The vet gave her a 50/50 chance of being able to pull through and all I can do now is pray that she fights and can make it. The next 48 hours will be critical; if she can make it that long her chances increase exponentially.

I walk through my house and see all her toys and remnants of her being here and my heart just breaks for her. Please pray for her!

Sick Baby

So Mishka (the new puppy) is ill. She won’t eat and she won’t drink and she won’t get out of her bed. I started giving her water with a turkey baster in the middle of the night to force some kind of liquid in her. At 7:00 am in the morning when the vet opened I called to see if I could get an appointment and I was so glad that they could fit me in.

I anxiously watched her all day surfing online for causes of her illness and talking to friends. I was talking to Ms. Bulldog about my poor little sick puppy and you know that you are really an adult when you can talk about your dogs poop and not start snickering because really it was not intended or taken as a joke, this is serious mommy talk. When babies are really young the poop is the key. You have to watch closely for any signs of change because it is not like a baby or a dog can tell you how they feel when they have a tummy ache or some other problem like stress. I mean it’s not like they can run to the mall and get a ton of new clothes shopping, then come home and have a trough of wine and pass out drunk to like I do to relive my stress.

I watched the clock closely like you did in school wishing that damn bell would ring so you could leave. I wanted to get to the vet early because I was anxious to see the doctor and find out what was wrong with my baby sweetheart. The doctor let me know that my puppy was dehydrated and obviously underweight. We went through a list of the symptoms and what could be possible causes and she did some tests and sent me home with antibiotics and wet sensitive stomach puppy food. She said that she will call tomorrow with the test results and that I should try and get the puppy to eat this rich wet food every hour and attempt to get her to drink liquids as if I could coax her with promises of unlimited candy or a trip to Disney World.

I am an anxious mommy and I know I am not going to get any sleep again tonight because I am so worried about my little girl. I really hope she does not have anything to serious and it will be cleared up soon so she can romp and play and attack unsuspecting blades of grass.

Sleepless in Los Angeles

The puppy woke up at 3:00am and then did not go back to sleep at all until I had to leave the house at 9:00am. After an hour of her crying I got up and went to the other room so Mr. Rogue could get some sleep and it was really hard to stay awake and play with a puppy when I would have rather stuffed her into her crate and locked her in the garage so I could go back to bed. I know mean but that is a split second thought I had while I was sleep deprived and after an hour of trying to get my crying baby to sleep.

This afternoon she played for a little while but mostly she slept and I can’t tell if there is something wrong with her, like she could be sick, or if she is just storing up the hours of sleep so she can keep me awake all night again, which would make her a evil little bitch. I guess I will find out tonight.

After I had seven Diet Coke's which put enough caffeine into my body to power a small city for a month I felt a little better and could spend the day with my parents who came to visit and my baby girl. My mother and I went and did some shopping for her birthday and then we spent some quiet time in the backyard which was a perfect way to spend a Monday. After I cooked dinner they left to go back home and the moment they stepped out the door the puppy and I curled up for a much needed nap. I slept for an hour until Mr. Rogue got home, it is 10:30pm and the puppy is STILL sleeping. I am hoping I get a little bit more sleep tonight but it does not look like it is going to happen.

BBBS 11 – Nail Polish

Today is my eleventh outing with my little and I can honestly say that there is a great bond beginning to form. Instead of stilted conversation interspersed with moments of fun we are now defiantly over the hump and we are having more and more connected moments. Because Ms. Little and I are both girly girls I decided to take her to go and get her nails done. Since she had never been before I went first, and although I have been a million times to get my nails done I don’t know if I am the best role model for a little girl to mimic because my feet are extremely ticklish so I don’t necessarily sit still and I cannot stop laughing. We had a great time relaxing, choosing which color we wanted, and Ms. Little even got a crystal flower put on her nails. This was a great outing choice because we were able to talk about hygene, keeping your finger and toe nails clean, and introduce her into the world of pampering.

After we finished with our nails Ms. Little and I stopped by my house so she could meet the new puppy. And again aside from getting to play with the adorable baby it was a great opportunity to talk about pets, owner responsibility, the role of the pound, volunteering, and about creating trust and obedience in a new pet.

Sometimes I wonder how much I should talk about little snippets of knowledge I have about how the world works. I try to put in real world experiences and lessons in all we do but I also try to introduce it in a fun way so it does not feel like lecturing. I guess I will just keep talking and hope some of what I say makes a difference or sticks.

Sleepless Nights

I barely got any sleep last night because the new baby needed a drink, or to go pee, or to just be pet every two hours. That on top of the fact that I had to make sure she stayed in her bed and was not off eating wires or something equally delicious resulted in me getting very little sleep. The good news is that so far we have had no accidents with the puppy while we have been home, which is good considering how young she is. However I have crated her twice when we left the house and BOTH times I have had to come home and scrub the mess off of her, her crate, and all the bedding, which is LESS than fun.

Still she is adorable and so absolutely precious just like her big brother. My secret weapon to keep me feeling this way is LOTS and LOTS of toys so she does not chew up LOTS and LOTS of our stuff.

Here is a video of her and Rogue chewing together, she looks so much like him it is weird.

Our ‘Furry’ Bundle of Joy

After months of conversation and debate Mr. Rogue and I finally decided to get a new puppy as a companion for us and a playmate for our dog Rogue. We decided about a week ago but I have been keeping my eye out on the pound sites for weeks just to see what was out there. Last Monday, right after we made the decision to get a new puppy and after looking for hours on sites, I found them. It was a woman who runs a rescue no kill organization that had puppies about an hour drive from our home. The puppies are 8 weeks old and someone had abandoned the litter of 5 under a car after finding two homes she still had three left, and two were female which we were looking for. After filling out the online form, exchanging a ton of emails back and forth and then having our application accepted she informed us to meet at a Petco this morning to choose which puppy we wanted. I was more excited than a 5 year old waiting for Christmas morning. Every day I woke up I would count in my head ‘Oh only 4 more days until we go!’.

When we got there the girls were being groomed so we had to wait a half hour to meet them. Spending that half an hour shopping left us buying a mountain of new things for her: a collar (pink of course), a bed, new toys and of course puppy food and other important necessary things. When we finally got to meet them it was harder than I thought to choose which we would take home, I wanted them both but that idea was quickly stamped down by my oh so practical husband. In the end after playing with them for over a half hour we ended up choosing the mellower dog of the two because we felt she would fit better into our family.

Walking out of the store with our new baby, with her cute baby puppy breath and his wiggly adorable puppy fat we were beaming with happiness and that high still has not worn off.

Because she is a baby coming home was a bit overwhelming, she met Rogue and immediately started to cry, I went to the bathroom and she started to cry, she saw one of the cats and again cried. Thankfully all crying stops as soon as she is picked up so I have been literally carrying her from room to room with me. I know she will get used to us and Mr. Rogue and I are still toying with names. Right now we just call her baby. Here are some pics and a video at the end we took today, and I am sure many more will follow in the coming days.


SHE KNOWS SHE IS ADORABLE JUST LOOK AT THAT FACE


ALREADY PARTNERS IN CRIME


THANKFULLY I HAVE TWO HANDS


THIS TENNIS BALL IS AS BIG AS HER HEAD


MR. ROGUE, ROGUE AND THE NEW PUPPY (STILL UNAMED)


I LIKE HOW ROGUE AND I ARE ENJOYING THE SUNSHINE WITH SUCH PLEASURE


SO TIRED AFTER SUCH A LONG DAY


PRACTICING FOR WHEN SHE STARTS TO CHEW MY SHOES

Photo Phriday: Picasso

The third pet photo series. See the other animals

Seurat my eight year old silver tabby here

Rogue my seven year old dog here

Internet introducing my seven year old orange and white tabby Picasso.

I Wonder If

Ms. Sweetie and I were talking about hairstyles, I love my new bangs and she has been interested in trying something new but nervous for the unknown. So for fun after we had yummy Chinese food today we sat down with Photoshop and played around with a few different styles. We did not come to any conclusive decisions but we had a lot of fun particularly with the FUNKY styles. Enjoy.

Spanish

Sometimes I really wish I spoke another language, Spanish for instance would be a great choice because there is such a large population of Mexican people here who speak little to no English. It is very frustrating when you approach someone with a question or they want something and you have NO IDEA what the hell they are talking about.

I had two instances today where I could have really used my new language. The first I was at the store buying a new workout outfit and this woman walked up to my cart and picked up my top right out of the cart. I said “Oh excuse me, that is my cart.” as I am very obviously standing right next to it. She just stared at me and blinked, so I stared back and tried to communicate with my eyes that this was my cart, as in put it the hell down BIOTCH. “Dis is bery nice” she said. So I told her where she could find it in the store but she just stared and said again “Dis is bery nice.” That is the moment comprehension struck and I realized that she did not speak English. So with hand signals and gesturing I was able to hold up the garment, make walking motion with my fingers and point to the area of the store that the outfit was in. She smiled in comprehension and tootled off with my garment. I went and got another one off the rack, it just was not worth trying to run through it again, and I really did not think the manager of the store would have appreciated a cat fight between me and that woman.

The second instance I could have used Spanish today was not more than 30 minutes later when I got home from the store. Pulling in I noticed that there were workers mowing the lawn next door. Since we bought the house three years ago Mr. Rogue has been mowing the lawn himself, a job that I have taken over and I find to my suprise that I am actually enjoying, however I wanted my lawn edged. Unfortunatly you need a specific tool to edge a lawn, it has a blade that cuts into the grass and dirt overlapping the sidewalk and creates a mini and perfect little path between the sidewalk and the grass. Since I saw that they had an edger I walked over and asked if he would mind edging our yard for a few bucks, he looked at me and blinked. I sighed, here we go again, and again broke out my amazing mime skills that very obviously went awry with my earlier sign language conversation. I motioned the edging machine on the truck, I pointed at my very obviously ‘Has not been edged in three years’ lawn and then I held up a five dollar bill. He nodded in comprehension and cheerfully whistled as he began to edge my lawn. I was estatic that my miming skills actually worked this time and that my lawn was going to look so nice, he was happy with his five dollars and the fact that I could not understand what he was bellowing to his two other coworkers that were watching him. His rapid conversation with his friends in Spanish was probably around the line of ‘Dude this crazy lady thought I did not speak English so she started all this fanatical hand waving crap and then paid me 5 dollars for doing something that I would have done for a buck’. Ah if I had only known how to speak Spanish I could have told him that 'Dude this crazy lady speaks Spanish, I thought you were Phillipine, and Oh by the way you owe me four bucks!'

Confessions of a Shop-a-holic

Today I had a list of errands to run one of which was a quick trip to Nordstrom’s to pick up a few things for Mr. Rogue’s birthday next week. After getting him a few things I thought I would just take a peek at the sun dresses because I am going with the girls to Palm Springs next weekend, and a girl can never have too many dresses.

On a side note I JUST had a conversation with my mother yesterday about how I have way to many going out clothes and not enough housewife, cleaning the house, hiking with the dog, running simple errands like going to the grocery store kinds of clothes. I don’t think I will ever learn.

Off the side note these are adorable and somewhat practical.

Jobless Hussy

It is now the 3rd month, the 14th week, the 98th day of my unemployment. I thought by now I would be climbing up the walls going crazy, or shamelessly enjoying this brief time off before we start a family, instead I find myself busy with a million little things that always get pushed to the side AND feeling a little lost without a career. I never really realized how many people upon meeting you for the first time or just to strike up idle chit chat and they ask what you do. I swear since Mr. Rogue and I decided I would not go back to work I have been asked no less than a MILLION TIMES. At first it bothered me to say housewife, but on the days when this feels so right, taking care of my home and my man I say housewife with a kind of supreme pride.

The art of a jobless hussy without kids comes with a few certain qualities that I am trying to achieve. Clean house (check), husband who does not have to lift a finger around the home (check), rockin tan (check) and super hot body (super not check). So with this last unchecked item on my list I am again starting to watch what I eat and exercise every day. Now that I have the time and the time and the more time I should be able to stay on the diet. Usually I go off of it because of stress or some cataclysmic event in my life. So I am not going to worry about working anymore, Mr. Rogue and I decided that I can take the summer off to find myself, we can talk more about starting a family, and I can work on centering my energy so I am in a happier place. Seems easy enough without the stress of a job but we will see how I do. For now I am relatively happy in a clean house, with a happy husband and a great tan.

The Perfect One

No one is more critical than themselves when it comes to photos. Out of a hundred shots there usually ends up one being just ok. Recently I got a one in a million photo of myself, one that I love everything about. It happens very rarely but this is one of those pictures that I will keep forever and remember that here in this one moment of time I was beautiful.

Little Dude

With a raging headache from the amount of alcohol I imbibed last night I woke up and drove home from Ms. Eden’s house to get packed and go to the beach with the Rambo’s and the Sweetie’s. Thankfully I woke up at 7:30 and after Ms. Dancer, Ms. Eden and I all talked for a bit I went home early to eat toast and soup with my husband who also had a rough night last night with his friends and a pile of beer bottles. We decided after we had finished eating that we would sleep another 2 hours instead of getting to work on the list of stuff we were supposed to get done today. Because procrastination is a hung over woman’s friend I have found.

So after another 2 hours of sleep and fortified with my now more settled belly I had my 30th shock of my morning. I had a message on my cell phone that was left at 1:30am by Brinks our home security alarm system. Unfortunately I was passed out by this time so I did not get the message until now. When I questioned Mr. Rogue he said the alarm had not gone off and that the police had not come by. This is when my brother in law, Mr. Fruit, who is staying with us chimed in that he had set off the alarm because he had been drunk and he remembers opening the door and then not remembering why, and then he did not remember the code, and then he tried to wake up my passed out drunk husband, and then finally managed to get the alarm off and then had to deal with the police that came over. All this happened, the house alarm, the attempted waking up, and the sirens of the cops without Mr. Rogue missing a snore.

After solving the alarm question, which left all of us vowing to never set the alarm drunk again, Mr. Rogue and I were off to pick up the Sweeties too meet up with the Rambo’s already on the beach. Although I was in less than tip top shape we were able to have a great time lying there on the beach doing absolutely nothing except drinking water and cat napping all day long. It really is a tough life.

P.S. I was super jealous of Ms. Rambo’s amazingly cool turtle kite with streamers!



Sailing through the air he reminded me of the turtles in Finding Nemo. I am therefore naming him Little Dude. And if you are one of the 6 people who has been living under a rock and have not seen this move here is the video of that part.

It’s My Party and I Will Pass Out Drunk if I Want Too

You know the feeling that the universe is trying to conspire against you and everything that you try to do takes you further and further from the thing that you want. Like someone is sitting upstairs and poking you with a stick like a kid playing with an ant hill. That is what the past few days have been like, crazy busy trying to keep all my commitments from bleeding over into the next. So today despite many many obstacles that attempted to force me to miss this event I was able to get into the car and get to Ms. Eden’s slumber party with everything I had planned to bring early as I planned. What I did not plan was to bring the extra large bottle of Grey Goose, my hard liquor of choice to the party, that was a last minute decision, a decision that I would find out later was perhaps not the wisest choice I made this week.

Getting to Ms. Eden’s I got my things into her wonderful apartment, I threw on my bathing suit, and we grabbed one of my new mixed drinks; sparkling flavoured water and vodka. Everything in tow we go to the pool on the roof and settled in to chat and sip daintily at our drinks. An hour and a half later we were guzzling drinks and our conversation got louder and bigger with lots of hand waving and gesturing. By the time Ms. Dancer arrived 3 hours later both Ms. Eden and I were very happily buzzed and still drinking. I am normally not a heavy drinker, but once a year or so something in me slips and I find myself the next morning passed out on the floor wondering how in the hell I allowed myself to bolt past the limit that I usually keep a tight reign on. Maybe it is because I do keep such a tight reign that I find myself slipping occasionally as if my body knows when it has had enough of my mind games and just takes matters into her own hands.

Even though I don’t remember most of the night part of the party, I had a great time with Ms. Eden during the day and I am sure that I would have had a wonderful time later that night if I had stayed sober enough to not pass out.

Photo Phriday: Indian Canyon

This photo phriday I had my new camera to play with and my parents, who I am visiting for a few days, and I decided to go hiking at one of the local beauty spots that claimed on being one of the most wonderful places to hike on the west coast. The trip there was less than pleasant and instead of only taking 30 minutes to get there we took an hour and a half which lead to crankiness but once we did get there we were BLOWN away by how beautiful it was. There was so much to see and photo that I got more than enough for this weeks assignment. I actually had a really hard time weeding through the 700 some odd photos trying to pick out the best. I feel like I am getting better and better with my photography, practice does make perfect, and since I have created these weekly assignments I have seen a marked improvement.

PLANTS



















THE WILDLIFE

























OTHER THINGS I FOUND BEAUTIFUL