Sunday, December 20, 2009

North Carolina: Have a Little Faith

I have had an on again off again relationship with church my entire life. I was baptized and went to church when I was young, I also attended a church school first grade, but then my family just stopped going. I returned for years when I was in Junior High and High School but once I moved to college I stopped going again. Over the past two years I have started feeling the need to return to church, I attended a catholic church one day with a friend and then again a year later to a different church but neither felt at all right. I have been to my grandparent’s old church many times but I never felt 100% comfortable there either, I could never understand why. It was familiar and I had been there many times yet still something was missing. I think that the problem was that they all lacked something, something I could not put my finger on but I knew they were not the right church for me.

Even with these feelings of wanting to find a church to return to for some reason, I just have not put the energy into finding the right one. I am not sure why but I felt like I was waiting for some catalyst; something to jolt me out of inactivity and inspire me to make a move.

Currently I am visiting my in-laws in North Carolina and this morning we all went to their church that they attend every single Sunday, a church that they are very active members in, a beautiful building filled with friends they introduced to us. Today, for the first time in a long while, I was in a church that talked to me. The atmosphere was right, the music, the faith, the sermon; everything came together in such a perfect way and I could feel my soul filling with a wonderful feeling of happiness. THIS was exactly like the church I want to find.

I walked out on a cloud happy that something had finally pushed me; I am ready to start looking again for a church in my own town and delve into my faith again. This feeling also helped me clarify what I want to do for my next year’s resolution project, see here. I want to focus on faith, my church and trying to modify some things in myself that are not so Christian. I am so excited to have finally chosen my path next year and to dive into the next chapter of my life.

1 comment:

paul peggy zeus said...

You may not recall, I used to love our church until they booted out our Pastor and didn't tell us why. One day in Sunday school they preached that we should only associate with other Baptists and certainly NOT Catholics. I felt this was very wrong and told them about Jesus spending time with the whores at the well in order to save them. How are we to reach out to others if we only hang with those that believed? We finally got a new Pastor , Pastor Fenner, who Baptized me when I was eight years old and I was elated until he took his own life in the Church Rectory. I guess that did it for me.

I'm happy you are reaching out to find a new church, I do believe it can be great for one's soul. Even though I don't attend church any longer, I still have a great relationship with our Lord and I'm comfortable with that. HE understands ME.

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