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Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Philippines: I See London I See France

In an effort to loosen up the knotted muscles of our long trip, Mrs. Fruit offered to take us to the spa today. Of course when I found out that we were going I jumped into the car begging to go RIGHT THIS SECOND rather than wait the additional 3 hours for the appointment, I was however cajoled into having breakfast first with bribes of a shopping excursion afterwards.

Upon arriving for our appointment I realized that this spa is, like everything else in the Philippines, not like my spa at home. Here we are staying for two hours to get a facial, a pedicure, and a massage for a fourth of the cost. SCORE!!!!!!!!

When we were lead into our facial room there were a FEW issues. One the chairs are made for people two feet shorter than us Americans, so once I comfortably settled in the end of the chair (imagine a comfortable dentist chair, if that is possible for you to comprehend) the back of my knees were hitting the bottom of the chair which left a good portion of my legs hanging off the edge. I ignored the giggling of the attendants and I figured it’s not a problem right, the chair was comfortable and once they started the facial everything was A ok.

I was being soothed and cleaned with warm towels, cleaners and then they put on the deep clean mask for 15 minutes. I snuggled into the chair, closed my eyes and sighed in contentment. I was sitting there for only a moment when another woman came in to start my pedicure. Here I am lying in my comfortable dentist chair, flat on my back with a face mask on with holes so small I can barely see and this woman spreads my legs, places a tub of hot water jets on the edge of the too short end of the chair and proceeds to try and bend my legs with my knees in the air so she can place my feet in the bucket. Now unfortunately I was not aware of the whole facial while getting a pedicure while lying flat on my back thing, so the little sundress I had chosen to wear this morning all of the sudden became completely inappropriate.

I went from contentment to uncomfortable, I feel like I am lying on my gynaecologists table and don’t know what the doctor is going to do with that weird metal thing kind of uncomfortable. As I fought to get comfortable AND keep my dress from showing TOO much of my underpants I couldn’t help but wonder what the women who were now giggling and chatting in Ceubonic were saying. With that one curious thought my mind went all over the place coming up with a million different things they could be making fun of me about. I finally settled on a common saying in my grade school which was COMPLETELY irrelevant but it is what happened to stick.

I see London,
I see France,
I see someone’s underpants.


Probably not but you never know. In that moment I wished that I had learned Ceubonic. Damn fertile imagination.

The facial and pedicure ended up being amazing despite me being uncomfortable and as I sank onto the too small massage table and the tiny woman began to work the millions of knots out of my body. I knew bliss and the uncomfortable; flashing the native’s incident was gently rubbed from my thoughts.

At least there was a small consolation with the fact that I was wearing my nice Victoria Secret pair.

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