Wednesday, July 29, 2009

The Interview

Last night I got a phone call for a three month freelance gig and I panicked. I had just become comfortable and happy with my daily routine and had finally come to terms with not working for a long while. I was going to concentrate just on being happy, making Mr. Rogue happy, and take care all of those little things so when he was home we could just spend time together. Then I get this call, a simple sentence that shattered the fragile calm.

“I have an cool project, are you interested.”

The decision for me to stay home was multipronged. First I got laid off from my first job and I am still collecting unemployment so technically I was still making a little bit of money. Secondly Mr. Rogue has gotten a lot busier at work, which in turn meant that I was inevitably getting stuck with more and more of the housework and then almost all of our free time was spent running to the store and getting stuff done that did not get finished during the week. We both thought it would be nice for me to stay home and handle those tasks during the week so we could relax more together during the nights and weekends. Also the economy was tanking and in reality the jobs that were available that I was finding either were not that appealing or that were offering half the salary that I had been making at my previous job for the same amount of work. After looking for three months and realizing the prospects were bleak of me finding something that I loved that would pay the right amount Mr. Rogue and I sat down and had a conversation. Basically we came to the same conclusion. I was happier at home, he was happier that things were getting done around the house, our relationship was better because we had more free time together, we could afford for me to stay home, and we were also talking about starting to try and get pregnant soon and since I want to be a stay at home mom at least for the first few years then did it really matter if I just stayed at home and did not take a job.

That decision was not saying that I would never work again, I may in time, it is just for now that I do not feel it is that important. I may change my mind and I always said in my mind that if something amazing did come up I would consider it. So when the phone call came and the job did sound interesting I agreed to meet with them today.

Choosing the outfit for the interview, slipping on a pencil skirt and a pair of closed toed high heels felt odd and yet a bit exciting. I did all the things I always do when I interview, a series of set tasks that I feel make the interview process more controlled. I washed the car, I got there an hour early so I could make sure I was not late, and I brought a good book to read so I would be nice and calm when entering the office instead of frazzled and sweaty.

As I sat in the lobby of the agency I felt the mood in me suddenly shift as if I was picking up again that old familiar feeling of urgency and purpose. Assistance were running back and forth on numerous errands, people were coming back from lunch in groups discussing campaigns, phones were being answered and problems delt with. This was a world I had walked away from six months ago, a world I have not missed one bit since I turned my back, and sitting in that busy reception lounge I had a roiling of mixed emotions. One part of me, the cut-throat business woman part perked up her ears, her back was a little straighter, her game face fell across her features and the power of how much I loved my job and what I did for a living coursed threw me. The happy jobless hussy part of me, the soft mothering Martha Stewart part shrank away from the hustle, the advertising jargon that I had not heard in months being bandied about, the constant chaos and craziness of the office.

I sat there a boiling pot of opposing emotions trying to sort through what I was really feeling when my interviewer walked in. I put my best foot forward and of course he loved me. I said all the right things, the project sounds wonderfully exciting, and he seemed pretty interested to have me on board. After an hour and a half I walked out of his office feeling confident we could work well together, the only issue with me not getting the job would be the amount of time I would need to take off in the three months that they need me. I have a weeklong Mexican Cruise, a two week Philippine trip, and a two week long Hawaii vacation planned. This of course is much cause for concern. They are discussing it and will get back to me and for that I am grateful. Grateful that I have a few days to sort out how I feel about all of this and come to terms with the fact that I may enter again into the workforce if only for a few months. Part of me hopes I don’t get the job; the other part desperately wants it. Either way I figure is ok. So basically I guess it is a win/win situation.

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