Thursday, May 7, 2009

Sad Days Don’t Deserve This Much Sunshine

Our baby puppy Mishka came into our life 11 days ago and only spent three days in our home. Since then she has been at the animal hospital battling Parvo. This morning she lost that fight. We tried all tried to give her the best care we could and we offered her a chance, but she was just too little and the disease too strong. I am so sad that she did not make it. So sad I feel myself slipping back AGAIN just when I feel like I have begun to move forward. So far I have eaten a mountain of chocolate and there are layers of salt deposits on my face from all the tears. Seriously this is why I need to live in a state with weather, because today I would have given anything for some rain to match my mood.

I can’t help but wonder why when I feel like my feet are finally finding a little bit of ground under me that I get them knocked out again. My wise friend Ms. Pool Shark said that I have more mountains to climb, higher mountains that need me to be stronger and that is why god is throwing so much my way. He is trying to prepare me for something big but really, SERIOUSLY I don’t know how much more I can take right now so God I could really use a break. I feel like Bad Luck has moved into my house without an invitation, I did not even see him move all his stuff in. Bad Luck is eating my Captain Crunch and SHITTING all over my life and to be honest I am SICK OF IT!


paul peggy zeus said...

Try to focus on the positives in your life. Rogue Man - your rock. Your friends, your wonderful dog and two cats. You have both parents who love you, a beautiful home and flower garden. The mini trips you take. . . and ME!

lilmansworld said...

omg will you get pregnant already! you need joy in your life and let me tell you, a baby is the answer! i love you.

Ivy said...

Wow. I have to disagree. A baby should never be considered a solution to life's problems. Don't bring a baby into this world to solve your problems for you. Fixing your life is an awfully big job to stick on a little baby. Can you imagine being born with a burden like that? Get your shit together and, once you are stable (not perfect - but living your life again), bring a baby in to share the joy and beauty of this world, despite the difficulties.

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