Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Open Conversations

Since I have finally made the conscious decision to finally seek help with a psychiatrist I have mentioned to, or some have read, that this is my intention. I am amazed at the stories that some of my friends have. Stories of themselves getting over traumatic events, stories of loved ones and I cannot tell you how comforting it makes me feel that I am not in this alone. Sometimes I feel so lost because like my mom said if you have not lived it you do NOT understand. Some of my friends have had a hard time supporting me through the past few years and I understand their hesitation. It really shows though who stands up and makes the effort and who falls by the wayside until you get ‘better’.

The definition of a good friend is to support that which you may not understand. I never really got this until I went through a terrible relationship. I had an ex-boyfriend whom I loved but who was bad for me. In the past I had made snide comments about weak women who stay with the wrong man. I was wrong. Sometimes you get so in over your head and all you need is your support network to SUPPORT you until you can figure it out for yourself. I think that one experience made me more tolerant or at least acknowledge that there are things that I just have not experienced or I just do not know. It made me a better friend and listener.

Generally you never hear the whole story when talking about a friends problem. You may get 10% of what really is going on. And out of that 10% that we hear we usually will try to help FIX the problem. But when I go to a friend I am usually talking about the bad things. In general I think that we turn to our friends to help us work out a problem or to help us over a hard time. I don’t think in general we hear about all those sweet wonderful times. So we never really have the whole picture.

I just want to say to those who shared their battles with depression or mental disorders. Thank You. Thank you for sharing something so personal and openly, I really needed to hear it. Without you I may still be wondering if I am making the right decision, if I will ever get better, but seeing all of you on the other side of the hill, happy, healthy and better I know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. At least I hope there is for me also.


Ivy said...

"Courage, it would seem, is nothing less than the power to overcome danger, misfortune, fear, injustice, while continuing to affirm inwardly that life with all its sorrows is good; that everything is meaningful even if in a sense beyond our understanding; and that there is always tomorrow." You must hope. Because if there is no hope for you, where does that leave me? Courage! You are stronger than you think.

paul peggy zeus said...

I believe there is no good wihtout the bad, otherwise, how else would we appreciate the good things in life? I'm glad you have such a supportive network - that is what will really matter in the end. Seeking help should not be something to be ashamed of, it simply means you are ready to heal, ready to grow and ready to get healthy and happy once more. I love you!

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