Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Bigger Than Myself

There are times when things are happening to you and it feels like the most important thing in the world. You keep it inside for so long because you are afraid of asking for help. And then you finally ask for help and it is surprising how many people that you reach out to who drop the ball. I went though a TERRIBLE time two years ago and I was shocked with how the world continued to keep revolving with the tragedy that had happened. I remember a few weeks after. I was sitting on the couch staring off into nothing and I heard someone who had kindly dropped off a care package laugh in delight and I remember getting so angry, angry at the fact that there was joy in anything when I was so miserable. I remember also being hurt that nothing seemed changed when I tried to re-enter my life, nothing had changed but me.

Today I learned that I dropped the ball on a friend. A friend I care DEEPLY about but for many reasons she reached out to me and I did not listen hard enough. I remember how that feels, how I let something so deep come out and for someone to shrug it off like I asked how the weather was. So no matter what my problems are I need to step up and be that friend to her that I needed. This week has been a week of eye opening experiences and I have learned that I need to listen more, reach further, and become bigger than myself.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You didn't drop the ball. You're the only one who called back. I love you! This weekend at home would have been unbearable without our conversations.

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