Wednesday, March 11, 2009


Over the past few days I have been doing a lot of reflecting about what is important to me and what I want to do with my life. I am having identity issues because I am no longer working and with the economy the way it is it does not look like I will be working anytime soon. And I am having issues dealing with the fact that I am dependant on someone else for the first time in a long time. I never really realized how important a career is in helping to create your identity and maintaining your independence. So the life that I have lived in the past now has a huge hole in it, my unlimited spending budget is now VERY limited and I am wondering what would be the best way to work through my issues.

The obvious choice to fill in a hole since Mr. Rogue and I just got married and since we were originally talking about starting a family in a year, potentially we could try and get pregnant and start our family a little earlier than planned. Of course having a baby does not really fix the money issue but regardless I don’t know if I am quite ready to be a mom and I don’t know if this choice is right for us quite yet. And until those are answered we have decided to wait. So I continue looking for a job, I continue to re-evaluate my life, I continue to TRY and not spend money and I continue to press on forward toward a future that is unknown. I want to continue to push myself. I want to continue to grow. I want to be someone that I am proud of. It is hard to follow these goals if I am stuck in a rut. It is making me feel very uneasy.

1 comment:

Inzodda said...

Babooba, I hear the unease in your words. Let me try to offer a little comfort, perhaps you are right where you are meant to be right now! The universe is giving you a pause in your fast pace life to do just that, reflect, think, dream...in your ambition to do more and grow, please remember, you ALREADY ARE someone to be PROUD of!!!! Embrace your present, it is your life right now! xoxox

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