Sunday, February 22, 2009

The Devils Cereal

Sometimes you are at the grocery store with a set list of things to purchase so you don’t overbuy and so you don’t ruin your rule of only having healthy things in the house so you don’t totally screw your diet. However despite the best of intentions I fall into cravings that are beyond my control. Usually these cravings lurk like evil spiders in the back of my mind, I don’t even know they are there, until I round the corner display of chips and that spider launches full force and bites me in the face. I don’t even have a chance that black widow just rips my head off and tosses it to the floor.

So in this particular spider biting instance I was at the grocery store in the cereal isle and I picked up my trusty Plain Cheerios which I love and could eat every day of the week. As I walked back to the cart I ended up with the Cheerios in one hand and Captain Crunch just somehow ended up in the other. And as I wondered how the Captain Crunch even wound up in my hand a craving so intense washed over me that the Cheerios got put back on the shelf and the Captain got put in the shopping basket. This craving did not go away even when I went through the check out line, where I battled myself to tell the clerk I did not want it, on the drive home it got worse, to the point that when I walked in the door I could not wait to put the groceries away so I could sit down and have a bowl right now. The intensity and the pressure mounted until I had consumed 2 large bowls.

Sickened with my lack of self control, sickened with the fact that I had probably consumed enough calories for the next 2 days, and defiantly in a food coma I shuffled off for a nap. When I woke up I had the worst taste in my mouth, the Captain Crunch which I had not had in over 5 years had cut up the inside of my mouth. Like shards of glass those evil little pellets of sugary goodness had sliced the top of my tongue and the roof of my mouth. I considered kicking the crap out of the box but that would not fix my wounds. Instead I decided to boycott any Captain Crunch in the house for life. I was so disgusted I threw the rest of the box away down the garbage disposal. Thank god for garbage disposals, Captain Crunch cut up my mouth so I pulverized the existence of the rest of the box.

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