Monday, January 19, 2009

Michigan: This Is Not Weather This Is Hell

The temperature here in Michigan is 5 degrees. Yes pause with me for a moment and gasp in terror as I did when I walked out from the heated airport and into the freezing cold dawn. And yes I know I grew up here, that you think I should be used to this, but the past 4 years living in Los Angeles has thinned my skin down so much that I can only tolerate perfect sunny Southern California weather, anything less than this and my body is royally pissed off. When the plane took off from LA it was 80 degrees, I was in a sundress and sandals; now landing in Michigan I resemble some shapeless multilayered blob covered from head to toe in sweaters, gloves, scarf, hat, and an oversized coat. Anything I could throw on my body to attempt to keep it warm. I hate winter in Michigan and I think my body is allergic to the cold.

What I hate MOST about winter:

1. The temperature that freezes every piece of water including the air in my lungs.

2. Shitty driving conditions that causes your car to careen out of control – and even worse then worrying about your own driving is worrying about all the assholes on the road who don’t know how to drive and cause countless of accidents.

3. Snow and Salt that has to cover every inch of every walking and driving surface ruining not only my shoes (which in my world is a heinous crime punishable by death by dismemberment) but corroding metal on the cars too.

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