Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Michigan: The Longest Day Ever

UGGGG beating me and locking me in a cold dark cell would be more humane then the past two days I have had to endure. My grandfather is alive but I was unprepared for how truly lifeless and terrible he looked. I last saw him the day after my wedding, it was October 19th he was in good health and happy. Now he is a husk of a man, a shell hooked up to various machines and struggling to survive, he reminded me so much of my grandma, his wife, in the hospital right before she died. As I kissed his wrinkled withered check covered in a few days of stubble I fought to hold back the fold of tears at seeing him in such bad health.

It is terrible to watch and feel so helpless to do anything but hold his hand and tell him to keep fighting. We have devised a 24 hour schedule to be split up by various family members so he is never left alone, it is a two prong strategy so that someone will be there to fix his sheets, get him water or harass a nurse to help him; and to be there in case he passes, so someone who loves him will be there at his last moment, it is a chilling thought but a precaution I hope my family will take if I am ever in the hospital.

I have not slept for 62 hours besides the small nap cramped in an uncomfortable chair for 20 minutes here and there on the plane and after my weekend is San Francisco I am desperate for some quality sleep. The nightmares that I have won’t plague me tonight, I am way too exhausted for them to plague me, I will be thankful for that at least.

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