Friday, January 2, 2009

Like A Dead Carcass

Christmas is my second favourite time of the year, only second to Halloween. In my opinion Halloween kicks sissy Christmas’s ass when it comes to coolness. Yes Christmas does have lots of presents and twinky lights but common Santa is a big fat sham. Halloween is so much better with its skeletons, smoky witches brew, black cats, walking dead, and where it is perfectly acceptable to be a prostitute all day long. And for my last point can I just say the nightmare before Christmas says it ALL! Tim Burton is a GENIOUS.

Even though Christmas comes in second on my list of favourite holidays I still do love the season and all the festivities. Today is one of the saddest days of the year because January 2nd is my traditional rip all the glitter out of my house and put the 5 bins of Christmas decorations away in storage for next year. There is something incredibly sad about seeing a decimated mangled evergreen tree, stripped of all the lights and ornaments, one that was so bright and shiny and filled me with warm glowey goo every night for a month and is now sitting on the floor of my house being ready to be carried out to the trash like a dead carcass. It is the same feeling I get when I see a celebrity in real life, without the airbrushing, lighting, makeup and hair specialists working for hours to make them perfect.

The month of December brings warm glow and cheer to the most shrewess of the shrews I just wish it was a holiday that lasted more than 1/12 of our yearly lives. And I wish for snow in California, just a little, just on Dec 25th, for only an hour, oh and it cannot be cold out, it has to stay California warm. Hey if I am wishing here I may as well wish big.

In rebellion of having to dismember Christmas in my home I have decided to not shower or get out of my pajamas all day. Instead I have decided I will mope around grumpy and Grinch like because anyone who is everyone dismembers puppies and Christmas in their pjs.

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