Thursday, January 8, 2009

Hostile Terrorist Takeover Acne

So because I will have no job in 6 days, and the fact that there will be no money coming in, I am now waking up to a face that is no longer clear and beautiful but a face that is getting adult pimples from all the stress. Damn jobs and their cheating lying ways. It isn’t like I am even getting my period soon, because if I was at least I would have an excuse for this acne. But NO this is unjustified hostile terrorist takeover acne.

When I was a teen I had horrible acne, acne so bad that I used to cake on the foundation with another layer of powder over top, and although I knew that it made my skin two different colors and that the makeup did not hide my shamefully pockmarked face I wore it anyway because hey at least I was TRYING to hide it. I accepted my horrible acne, my braces of shame and my horrible 80s hair because I was a kid and that is a scarlet letter every hormone ridden kid had to go through who had a mother like mine that would not take me to a dermatologist. I accepted my due then but I really shouldn’t have to keep accepting bad skin in my 30s! It is MORTIFYING when I am trying to run a meeting and I see eyes randomly glancing at my chin.

All day I go around shooting laser beam expressions out of my eyes hoping that people are so startled by the emotion they feel that they don’t have time to glance at the small solar system of zits gravitated around my mouth. And how can they help but look, I feel like my zits have their own lighting crew and that everything else just fades into the background.

And then the worst is that I know I am not supposed to play with it, but I am in the restroom and there is no one there and it is just so ready to pop so I justify popping it because I don’t want it to accidentally pop somewhere near someone else, near as in close enough to poke someone in the eye and cause an injury and then a horrible lawsuit. So it is there and I want it to get better and I am still there trying to rationalize to myself to pop it. And yes I KNOW the girl rule that if you leave it alone it will be gone in 7 days but if you play with it then it will last 14 days but knowledge is not really helping right now. I am a 30 year old woman with a zit on her face. Emotions are in complete control of my entire body. So I squeeze it, only to HELP it, but that only makes it worse, so much worse then the small dot on my face because now it is all red and puffy, from all the squeezing, and I am stuck in the women’s bathroom until the bleeding stops and the puffiness goes down. I am now resigned to the fact that I will now have a scab on my face, a scab that I am going to resist to play with but that I know I will probably lose that battle also, a scab that I will probably put a cake of makeup on even though I know it will not hide the blemish. As I sit in the bathroom and ponder this I curse myself for not coming in here with reading material like a man would. I hunker down in my cold sterile stall and take a snooze hoping to make the time I need to serve in here go faster. I really need to start putting a book in my purse for these exact situations.

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