Sunday, January 11, 2009

The Best Behaved Dog

When you go to the dog park you meet a lot of dogs and a lot of their owners. After you purchase a home and go to the same park every week like I did certain dogs start making an impression on you. I know their names and what they will do when they inevitably get within a 5 foot radius of my dog. I remember if they are the butt sniffer, or the uncontrollable humper, or the winey little mama’s boy. What I cannot remember however is the owners anything, particularly the name. This is how it is at the dog park, my park which is located below the electric power lines, a park located here because they cannot build houses under power lines. Sadly these are the only spaces left non concreted in Los Angeles and therefore the only places that the city can justify putting these dog parks.

At the dog park the dogs rule the roost, precious darlings that they are and the owners fade into the background. There are ALWAYS specific owners or specific dogs or both that you need to keep an eye on. After years of patronizing such establishments I have learned to categorize the most common types. There is always the one owner with the super aggressive bully dog, the person that has no control over said bully, the owner that could not be an alpha member of the pack no matter how hard they tried because they are lacking the two B’s; balls and a backbone. There is the LA business man who is generally on their cell phone in the corner screaming at some poor associate or assistant completely ignoring the fact that the large dog he brought is jumping all over everyone with his gigantic muddy paws, barking excessively at anything and everything that moves including the leaves in the trees, and excessively licking all the lotion off my leg, which by the time I get him to stop, I am left with a red rash that feels like elves took sandpaper to my calf. Then there is the person who just got her dog and does not know to control it, who constantly shouts out commands for her dog Rudy to come, no I said come, come Rudy, sit, stay, NO, NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO and the dog having learned the art of ignorance just keeps going on his merry way. There is also the person who brought the baby puppy, all sweet and innocent and adorable in the soft sweet puppy kind of way. Unfortunately for the puppy who does not know better the owner is so excited to jump right into joining us other super cool dog owners that they bring their precious baby to romper room with all the big kids, not the best idea when the poor baby gets trampled and the person gets upset because their baby precious is now all dirty and crying from being trampled on. Then there is always the HUGE dog that is completely aggressive and mounts every other dog, male or female, in the park causing mad chaos because the tiny man who brought him could not bring himself to neuter his dog because someone in the house should have a large set of equipment. Then there is the nomad, the person who genuinely loves his dog, who brings him to the park and sits at an out of the way bench away from all the people because he is clearly antisocial, and the dog taking his cue from his owner sits quietly by his owner waiting for him to move because the dog is also an antisocial beast. And then lastly there are the people that go to the park for playtime with their generally well disciplined dogs and to spend time talking to all the other dog owners while mindfully keeping an eye on their four legged friends. We all crow and compliment and judge everyone’s dogs and their accomplishments, dog gossiping is something we cherish, like proud parents we watch over our little sweethearts and try to keep the other misbehaving dogs in somewhat of an order.
Just in case you are wondering me and my dog fall in the last category and Rogue is the BEST dog in the park, paws down the very best.

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