Outdoor Living

I remember walking into the house that we now own for the first time. I remember how bad it was and how much potential that we knew it could have. It looked small from the front and the way the rooms were laid out made the flow really cut up and awkward. But once we got outside and I saw the backyard and then the greenhouse I knew that this house was perfect for us. There is just so much wonderful outdoor space here. Since we moved in I have been struggling with how to decorate our outdoor/indoor space. It is completely enclosed space and there was potential to do so many wonderful things with it.


PRE- MOVE IN GREENHOUSE WAS DARK AND DIRTY


THE CEILING EXPECIALLY LOOKED TERRIBLE

First we had the old owner replace the ceiling wood beams since they were termite ridden and were deemed unsafe by the inspector. They also replaced the clear plastic ceiling tiles which gave the room a lot more light than the old dingy ones.

Then we rented a power washer from home depot and sprayed and cleaned all the cobwebs and dirt out, well Mr. Rogue did at least.


IT WAS REALLY HOT THAT DAY AND MR. ROGUE WAS NOT HAPPY

Then Ms. Sweetie and I painted all the old wood ceiling and window frames from the crummy brown to a deep brown/black. We also painted the benches in the same color.


SHE IS ON HER VACATION AND HELPING ME PAINT WHAT A DOLL

Then Mr. Rogue and I installed twinkle Lights on the ceiling.

And I found a great cheap table and some chairs on craigslist.


FINISHED GREENHOUSE BACK


FINISHED GREENHOUSE FRONT

I think this is going to go through several iterations of design until it is truly a gorgeous outdoor space but initially and with the limited budget I had this is what we were able to do.

Bathing Yourself In Your Favourite Scents

You know you are a die-hard crazy person when
1. Your favourite perfume smells like berries
2. Your second favourite perfume smells like vanilla
3. You love the scent of coconut suntan lotion
4. When putting honey in your tea you cant stop the impulse to wipe a bit behind your ears
5. Your deodorant smells like cinnamon
6. Your shampoo, conditioner, and body wash are all tropical island scents
7. You buy orange scented cloths detergent and dryer sheets

Do I mind the fact that I walk around all day smelling like a bake shop, a wonderful beautiful bake shop all day long. Do I mind that my dog likes to constantly lick my sugar smelling saturated skin. Do I mind that people hug me and then come in for a second hug because I smell “oh so good”. No I don’t mind at all, I love it in fact. But oh man does it make me hungry. Maybe I need to work on cutting back my super sweet scents and that will help my dieting.

Too Much Of A Good Thing

I like cookie dough ice cream, but I was so depressed I could not force myself out of the house. Instead I did something that I thought made sense at the time but really seriously, I am crazy. I found out I had all the ingredients to make chocolate chip cookies! Brilliant I don’t have to leave the house and I can STILL get cookie dough. Now why I thought the 30 minutes it took to make the cookie dough was better than going to the corner store only my crazy mind could tell you and it refusing to talk about how the thought process managed to be worked out on that one. So then I sat and watched Sex and the City series with a huge tub of raw cookie dough. I did not throw up as much as I thought I would.

Mass Masochism

I found this great quote that really touched me and I felt spoke to my issues by Mark Twain:
“I have been through some pretty terrible things and some of them actually happened”
It is amazing how your mind can torture you. Something that I have always been happy with, content in is now ripping me to shreds. It is like I am in a box and logically I know that to get better I just need to figure out how to get out of the box, in essence I just need to figure out how to solve the problem and I will get better. Logically that makes sense. Just get over it, move on, there are a lot of people out there who are a lot worse then you, I should be happy I have everything I ever wanted. Yet all those rationalizations just don’t add up to get me out of this mess.

Europe Art Trip Expands

I am still seriously considering this Venice trip that was dropped into my brain by the most talented artist I have ever seen practice his craft. I keep trying to say that it is impractical, that it is too expensive, that other than a life altering experience what more can it offer. But it keeps swirling around in my mind and it just won’t go away. Actually instead of going away it is getting bigger and changing into more.

The original trip is a two week artist tour, see here. But lately I was thinking that man if I got all the way over there then maybe I should go and see Rome, I could swing by Paris, and better yet I could have people meet me along the way. Seriously must reign in the beast. I have plans, a house, a job, a future husband. I cannot go skipping off to Europe on one last tra-la-la before I settle down and have a family. Could I?

This is the Yoke I Must Bear

So even though Ms. Wise and I were able to hang out yesterday at Mrs. O.C.’s BBQ we decided that since the boys had to work we may as well go and spend our money on something for ourselves. Ms. Wise was on the lookout for a black leather purse and some sandals and I like always was just on the lookout. Not for anything in particular just for anything and everything. Maybe if I had a plan and were looking for specific things then I would spend less. But then I may also pass up on some totally amazing things. This is the yoke I must bear.
As an added treat we decided to make the hour long drive to The South Coast Plaza, a Mecca of the most amazing stores all showcased in one massive mall. Not only do you go to shop at this mall but you also go to see and be seen. You can find the cream of the crop of Los Angeles here, models, actresses, and the fashionably gifted. It is officially one of my favourite places in LA my only wish is that it was closer and that I had an unlimited spending budget. Alas I may just have to make do. What a perfect way to spend the real Memorial Day.

To Celebrate we Drank

Memorial Day commemorates US men and women who died in the military. Mostly the average person sees a lot of flags, bbq’ed food, beer and maybe even some fireworks. This year Mr. & Mrs. O.C. threw a Memorial Day BBQ and like always we had a great time hanging out with friends and playing video games and enjoying great food and drinks. I am going to be really sad when these start coming to an end, these endless days of freedom. Once we have kids there will be a different kind of fun. I predict in two years Mrs. O.C. and I will both have had children and we will be celebrating Memorial Day in a little more family friendly style.

It was interesting because this is the first time that Ms. Wise, a friend from work, got to meet Mr. Rogue and like with all my friends who meet him for the first time they are left in confusion. You see Mr. Rogue is a bit shy, he does not relish in getting attention, he is content to sit back and watch. He is the complete opposite of me, hence Ms. Wise’s and the rest of the worlds response when they meet him. But you know that old adage that opposites attract. Well those are some strong forces working here. He is the love of my life and perfect for me in every way, even if he is a bit quiet.

A New Vibe

I am ecstatic because I finally have found a new class that I love. Let me backtrack. I participate in S Factor a yoga, body journey, dancing, aerobic class with a pole. I love S Factor because it is very organic and round and soothing but I never really quite clicked with my class. I mean the girls were OK but not a group that I would ever call friends. However that all changed today when I took a makeup in another class and I felt like I walked into a room of my people. Almost everyone instantaneously clicked. The energy was just right and it was one of the best classes that I have ever taken. So I have found my new home, I am going to sign out of all my regular classes and do all my makeup’s in the Wednesday night class. After the session is over I will hopefully permanently make my home with this new group. S puts me on a high.

Confessions of a Shop-aholic

I wanted a cute new going clubbing pair of shoes and this style is so hot right now I could not help but start dancing when I put these on. Aldo has the most amazing comfortable shoes and my fiancée would say that I have way to many pairs.

Falling Down

For a month now I have been feeling well more lost than ever. Even during happy moments, surprise happiness, or moments of depression, I feel an underlying anxiety that everything is not ok. I am not usually so melancholy. Actually a little over a year ago I would have said I was super happy with my life. And I know that it is not as bad as my mind makes it out to be but this is something that my mind cannot seem to make sense of or talk itself out of. So today I am admitting that I am afraid, afraid that I will never be fully OK again. This mess my brain is in and then on top of everything I am watching the news, hearing about the economy, worrying about my job, I am also worried about spending this kind of money on a wedding right now. When everyone is so much in need and when Mr. Rogue and I should be saving in case it gets worse. Half of the money we plan on using for the wedding is in the stock market and with the losses we are starting to see I am worried about paying our wedding in cash like we originally hoped to do.

I withdraw in times when I am super stressed, and with Mr. Rogue’s work schedule he is getting busier and busier. So although Mr. Rogue and I are doing well I feel like it is my fault we are at the place we are right now. Me shutting down and shutting him out and him being so busy is not helping anything. So many things I am just not ready to talk about. So we ignore the issues until I can get a handle on things.

So today I am giving into the fear and hoping that it washes over me with the same swiftness that it came to me.

Choosing the Linens

So I am at a bit of a loss right now. I have been busy selecting centerpieces, flowers, cake, food, the DJ and a million other things that will influence the big day but I am having a bit of a problem trying to envision it all together. Because everything is chosen in bits and pieces I feel like it is hard to get a handle on the final whole.
The table linens have been an ongoing issue. At first I was thinking of having my aunt help out because she works at a linen company. I even went to her office and looked at what they had and I absolutely fell in love with a pale ice blue tablecloth with a raspberry sparkle overlay. I fell in love until I found out what the price was. Even with my aunts employee discount it was 7 times the price of a cheaper local person that my hall suggested I use. Needless to say that although I appreciate my aunts thoughtfulness I would have to go with something more economical.
So I met with the hall vendor and she brought a bunch of choices. I narrowed it down to two but I am having a hard time choosing. It would be lovely to do a dress rehearsal of the big day, maybe then I would have an easier time trying to decide weather I should do white or pale blue table linens. Little decisions like this I know in the grand scheme of things do not mean a lot. Seriously no one is going to remember if they were blue or white 20 years from now, instead I hope they will remember what a beautiful wedding and fun time they had. So I finally made a decision I was going to use the pale blue linen, but when I went to ok it with Mr. Rogue he veto’ed my decision and said he wanted cream. Since I was ambivalent about the matter and could be swayed either way I let him have his way. Really most of the decisions have been mine and when he makes a comment I try to really listen to what he wants. Unless it is BRUTAL like inviting clowns to the wedding then I am fine with it.

Confessions of a Shop-aholic

After sushi during my lunch break I stopped at my favourite little LA boutique to find this most wonderful purse. It made me so happy I bought two, one for me and one that is very similar that I will gift to a friend. I really need to stop eating at the sushi place next door or I am going to have WAY too many purses. But it is really hard to find good decently priced sushi!

The Yoke of the Gifted

I have been thinking a lot about talents and about using your talents to the best of your ability. I have also been thinking about ambition and drive and how no matter your talents without something to push you sometimes gifted and bright people never reach their full potential. I am very happy and fortunate to have found my talent, followed my drive, and nurtured my ambition. It is how I got to where I am today with a wonderful job and career that I love, a magnificent fiancée that is so perfect for me, and a beautiful home that is all my own. However I do see some of my friends and family that have the talent and not the drive or have the drive and not that talent and I feel sad that some of them just seem stuck trying to find their way. I can only imagine how hard it is to choose a path in a world where so many options are available. It must be hard for someone who is gifted and who is interested in so many things to settle on one thing. Then there are the worries of wondering if you made the right choice or if another path would have been better. Who knows there could be such a thing as fate or luck and we are all just in a crapshoot.

Love of Martha

I have always been a crafty person. I get it from my mother, and her mother, and her mothers mother. I think that in general most women are pretty artsy and crafty, or at least they can be. Lately I have been obsessed with Real Simple, a magazine that breaks things down, crafts, projects, little things that just need to get done and how to make them better. Between this magazine and Martha Stewart I am amazed that I ever leave the house sometimes. ‘What? Go to a movie? But I have to stay here and organize my button collection!’ Really I don’t go to that extreme but oh how I could if I let that part of my brain any more dominance then it already has.

I like that things are in order, that my meat in my freezer is dated, labelled, and organized. I like that I scrub my baseboards with bleach and a toothbrush, I like that I can find anything in my meticulously organized life. And I like that I can get an inspiration for something, even if it is something that I have never done before and just do it. My latest accomplishment is that I bought the material, cut, and sewed all the curtains in my family room, my kitchen, my bathroom AND my master bedroom. That is 11 windows worth of curtains and I got to say I am now officially a rock star! Thanks Martha you are my hero!

Perceptions

Lately I have been thinking about how we present ourselves in the world and how easy it is to hide who we really are. I recently discovered some haunting things about someone that I thought I knew really well. Things that will irrevocably change the way I think of them from that moment on and that has made me wonder do we ever really ‘know’ anyone fully. Take my job for instance, I work in advertising, and it is my job to make the handbag necessary to the consumer, you have to buy this bag or you just wont be cool, or hot! Own this bag and you will own the world, people will throw diamonds at your feet and you will find that price charming. Basically I make a pile of poo look like a million bucks.

Any pile of poo can look like a gold mine with the right creative presentation. For instance take a look at Rogue. He is currently looking for that special someone right now on badbaddoggyboy.com and he is looking for the love of his life on sharemydogrunwithme.com.

On badbaddoggyboy.com for his Ms right now ad Rogue posted this
Gods gift to bitches, come see this on earth
I work as a professional model
Right now I look better than my picture so you will not be disappointed
I can make In or Out calls and I am available 24/7
You gotta see it to believe it
Let me rock your world
Call me

and then the photo to go with this ad:

On sharemydogrunwithme.com for his Ms love of his life ad Rogue posted this

Charming, goofy guy seeking his better half

Likes sniffing hydrants, playing at the beach, and long naps in the yard

Looking for sweet girl to share my life and laughs with

Hoping to find that one special girl could you be her?

and then this is the photo for this ad:

It is all in the presentation!

For the Love of Art

In an effort to keep filling my brain with wonderful things and in order to not let talents get too rusty I signed up for a Life Drawing class at the Getty. I was pretty nervous, it had been almost four years since I have had a live model to draw from, but since this was a beginner to advanced level class I decided that if the stuff I drew sucked then I would just fail to mention that I went to art school for four years and pretend that ‘Yes Mr. Instructor, this is the first time I have ever held a pencil’. I had nothing to worry about, drawing is something that I don’t think that you can lose, it is like swaying to the music in color and I had such an inspiring 4 hours with the most amazing instructor. This man is so gifted that I think I learned more from him in the four hour class than from an entire 4 month session at school. He was old, he had that grandfatherly scholarly look but when he held a pencil and started to draw my jaw hit the ground and I swear a small piece of my heart fell in love with him. I wonder if he would mind adopting another grandchild.

After the class and the wonderful critique where he singled out my work to talk about a concept that I generally like to use in drawing he talked about his Venice trip. He spun magic in that presentation. He talked about a 14 day trip in a sleepy Venice town where we would draw and paint and sketch every single day. Where we would take our easels into the surrounding countryside to draw inspiration, where we would have critiques on our work, where we would visit neighbouring museums and works of art and where we would fill our souls with the colors of our love of art. I desperately want to go; I wonder if I can go; I hope I can make it happen.

War of the Worlds

Today are two big events and neither of them could be rescheduled so we are going to attempt to do both and see where the dice fall. First on the list is the annual party for Mr. Rogue’s work. Every year they throw an event on a massive scale usually with excessive amounts of food and booze that lasts until the wee hours of the night. Today was no different on the first two counts but instead of partying into the wee hours of the night instead we found ourselves at a beach BBQ that was GASP kid friendly. I am assuming that pressure was put on by some people with little miniature people and nagging wives that there be a FAMILY FRIENDLY event for a change. This is why I find myself on a grassy green watching those same miniature people play games and win prizes as I try to guzzle as much adult kool-aide as I can get. Did I also tell you that it was HOT, not just HOT but boil your skin off if you are in the sun longer than a moment HOT! And that the food which is normally excellent was sub par I don’t even think that the kids were eating, and seriously those little monsters eat anything!

After enduring 3 hours we got to use our pre-planned excuse and I found I was HAPPY that we had another engagement that we could not get out of because we had tickets to take Mr. & Mrs. O.C. to the LA Phil Harmonic at the Disney hall and then dinner at Roy’s after.

Our evening was filled with all the glamour and class that I love in. We went from beer, sweat and bad food in the backyard to culture, style, and elegance in the evening. At least we ended the evening with something magical.

Not One Familiar Face

Today was Ms. Wise’s birthday and in celebration, after I got off work, I took her out to dinner. We went to this amazing little diner where I had never been before and I had the most amazing pizza in the world. As my usual MO I do not remember the name of the restaurant but I am going to make it a point to ask Ms. Wise the first chance I get. After dinner Ms. Wise and I headed over to the wine bar where all of her friends were going to join us for drinks. I have to admit I was a bit nervous, I was meeting her friends, friends I had never met before. In fact the only person I would know at the party would be Ms. Wise and since she is the birthday girl I knew I would not be seeing much of her. As I sat in the corner and as more and more people piled into the space I started sinking into a more comfortable mindset, I found that her friends were interesting and that all in all I had a pretty good time meeting all the new people.

This experience reminded me that I need to make sure that I don’t get comfortable. Once you get to a certain age, or as I am once I got to this certain age I am beginning to get comfortable in my circles of friends and the types of things that we generally do. So much so that this evening was a little hard for me in the beginning because I had to surge forward in an unknown crowd and make it happen alone. There was not a friend beside me, my man was at home and I just had to make it happen or sit in the corner like a wallflower, which by the way is totally not my style.

I am glad I went, I had a good time and I feel like I met a lot of really cool people. Happy Birthday Ms. Wise!

Not Only One Big Day

I have come to the decision that your wedding day is not just an 8 hr event, no it is a saga starting with the proposal and then includes every aspect of planning and preparing for the big day the discussions and negotiations about the big day are all part of the weddingI am finding that the journey is almost as important as the day. And I really believe that the preparations about budget, cake, food, and vendors all needs to be discussed and agreed upon with your future spouse. The wedding is not over until the last thank you note is written, the last paragraph is pasted in the scrapbook, my last thank you gift is sent, and my last bill is paid in full.

So I am trying to think about my beautiful wedding as not about one perfect day but the experience of a lifetime. A long experience that starts with a declaration from Mr. Rogue proposing his commitment to me and for me to accept and encompasses all the actions and decisions to get to the final moment, that includes family, friends, and my network of bridesmaids. A beautiful moment like this.

A Gift Worth Giving

I think the problem is with favours is that we want people to like them, and things that people like tend to cost more than a few dollars. So now I have to move onto what things would people not hate or think is stupid for a few dollars apiece. I decided on two options. One something that someone could devour on site, ever heard of the saying “If I can’t eat it, I don’t want it”. With all the food we were already going to have at the wedding that seemed silly. So option two (an idea I got from my cousins wedding) I would do a small token but do a nice donation to a charity that Mr. Rogue and I both believe in. So we are doing a bracelet with a card attached of the charity that was donated, a charity I am in the process of becoming a member, Big Brothers Big Sisters.

Smile with your Eyes

Americas next top model. I think of myself as a pretty intelligent woman, I don’t like to watch tv, but for some reason I LOVE America’s Next Top Model. I have seen every issue of Americas, Australia’s, AND Brittan’s. I think there is something wrong with my brain. But when Tyra shows me one smile and it is ok and then she shows me the other when she is ‘smiling with her eyes’, TYRA I totally see it. You go girl! I have been practicing and I think I got it just right. Practice makes perfect.

I know TV is dangerous, that it is equivalent to snorting coke, and that it deadens your brain but I am at work with no WORK to do and it has been months. I need TV just to make it through the day. At least I am surfing the web AND working on my blog AND working on my wedding at the same time. See mom I can multitask!

We Hate Our Lives

Mr. Rogue and I had a conversation during dinner that made my skin crawl. We talked about when and how we were going to complete the construction on the house. You see over a year ago we completed a very painful, very expensive home remodel of 75% of our home. I have not written about it yet because the experience is almost too painful even to mention. It will have to be later once the pain dulls. However we are obviously masochists and apparently we hate our lives and only wish to suffer endlessly because even before I am ready to WRITE about how horrible the experience was we are already talking about doing the rest.

We have two bedrooms that need complete gutting of the walls so we can remove the old plaster, replace all the wiring, insulate the walls ceiling and floor and then re-drywall. We also have a bathroom that in my mind is the ABSOLUTE WORST bathroom on the entire planet! Maybe instead of doing construction on the rest of the house we should just send some photos of our ghetto ass bathroom to HGTV and maybe they will do it for free. Because in my mind the bedrooms can stay as is it is the damn bathroom that needs to go!



This photo does not even do this bathroom justice. I mean you can sit on the toilet and brush your teeth at the same time. Every single time you get out of the shower, or stumble into the bathroom and you are not REALLY concentrating every moment on not running your hip into the sink then you will HIT YOUR HIP ON THE SINK. I think I may have permanent bruises from that damn sink. Seriously I almost tore it out of the wall Halk Hogan style because it bit me one too many times.

Bachelorette Party Location

Finally today after many weeks of searching I have finally decided on and booked the bachelorette party weekend getaway. I knew I had to make plans way in advance because many of the girls that HAD to be there would be flying in from out of town. I also knew that I did not want to have the traditional ‘wild’ night out on the town. I am getting older and drinking just for the sake of drinking till you pass out has never really been my thing. So some rules I decided early on was that:

1. There would not be a stripper
2. I would like to be able to REMEMBER my bachelorette party so no shots all night long
3. Since I love food and wine I would like one of those to be in the mix
4. I would love to chill out with my girlfriends and spend some quality time with them which I my mind did not include a thumbing club where you can barely hear the person next to you screaming.

Today I decided that we will be renting a mansion in Temecula and we will be going wine tasting. The mansion called ‘Top of the world’ is a 5 bedroom house overlooking the Temecula valley far below. Did I mention that it also has a pool and a Jacuzzi. I also will be renting a limo which will pick us up Saturday afternoon and take us to four different wineries and then I also decided that we would hire a chef to come and make us dinner Saturday night and breakfast the next morning.

I am super excited about this trip, after months of agonizing over what I really wanted to do I found this and it is totally my style and PERFECT for my bachelorette party. Here are the sneak peeks of the mansion that the agent sent me.

The Life of the Party

Today we threw a BBQ party at our house for Mr. Rogue’s birthday and as always it is an eventful evening. I think lately my most favourite thing about our parties aside from the high of being a hostess is the fact that Ms. Rambo is a walking giggle box. She always makes me laugh and for some odd reason lately she has been causing a bit of a ruckus at our parties, much to her embarrassment and our amusement.

Today Ms. Rambo ended up imbibing a little too much liquor and instead of running into the house and potentially not making it to the bathroom she instead ran to the side of our property and in front of most of the guests proceeded to empty her stomach. Now at least it was evening so we could not SEE it happening, but the noises, I will never forget the noises. Well the noises AND the fact that my dog was super interested in that spot for days.

Then there was the time when Ms. Rambo went in to congratulate Mr. Fruit on his upcoming marriage. A marriage that no one knew about at work, a marriage that I forgot to tell Ms. Rambo to keep secret, a marriage she congratulated him for surrounded by his coworkers. I will take most of the blame for that one though.

Then there was the time when we had everyone over for a BBQ and my friend brought her 3 year old kid. I went inside to get something or another and when I came out my phone was not working, in fact it looked broken? I turned to the person closest to me which happened to be Mrs. Rambo and I guess because things always seem to happen to her at my house and because she was not going to be taking the blame for this incident she immediately says ‘I did not do it, the baby did it’ and points to the child. To this day we still quote it. ‘Dude it wasn’t me, the baby did it.’

Then there was the time when I made Indian food and invited the Rambo’s over to share. I was serving the meal when Mr. Fruit inquired why I had not made rice with a meal that very obviously ‘SHOULD’ have rice served. I must have looked at him oddly because he then stated that Mrs. Rambo had asked for rice and as my gaze swept to her confused look I knew that she had not asked for rice and that Mr. Fruit was FRUITY.

The Rambo’s are the best and I hope they bring lots more stories to my life.

Unique Guestbook

Mr. Rogue and I wanted a guestbook that would not be shoved or stored away so we never see it. When it came to our wedding I had to brainstorm long and hard for something unique. I think since the old traditions the guestbook has evolved from who attended the wedding to giving the bride and groom personalized advice or thoughts on the big day.

I loved how my cousin and his wife were able to get an old fashioned photo booth at their wedding where guests could cram inside, take photos and then glue their pictures into the guestbook with a little phrase but again I did not want a book to be shoved away and the photo booth was an expensive option so I decided to not do this.

After surfing a ton of ideas on the net, nothing that I was super impressed with I decided to borrow the idea from one of my best friends Mrs. O.C. For her wedding she did a photo of her and her husband and had an extra large matte cut so people could magic marker their thoughts and blessings. This way the guestbook can be hung on our wall and we can appreciate it everyday. One thing that we were thinking about doing is to take a photo every year on our anniversary and update the photo so it grows older as we do.

Every time another detail gets decided and nailed down I feel like I may not sink under all there is to be done. Like maybe I am treading water and I MAY just be able to pull this thing off.

Patience is a Virtue

Mr. Rogue has been in crunch at work for months now and just because it is his birthday today does not mean that he gets to come home for dinner. So I suggested that we meet at the nice Italian restaurant across from his work so we can spend an hour together before he has to return to the grind. Unfortunately dinner was not great because even though I get to see Mr. Rogue he is nothing more than an exhausted shell. So dinner was not wonderful but it was wonderful to eat with him, something we have not done together in a while despite the fact that we live together. Oh well at least I got him a kick butt gift that he LOVED LOVED LOVED!

What Wouldn’t You Do

I have gathered some of the best advice ever from variety of sources, some from my mother, some from both grandmothers, and some that I have figured out myself, and it had to do with keeping your man happy.

1. I think of my man in a different way, I think of him as I did when I first started dating him as someone who I desperately wanted to make happy and keep. After a time this will diminish unless you keep that knowledge in the forefront. Think about how the girl at the bar sees him, think about the coworkers who has a crush on him sees him, think about how you would feel if you lost him. So what wouldn’t you do to keep him.

2. I make sure that I keep myself busy and entertained. It is not his job to make me interesting or to have fun. There is time where I am busy and he has time to himself. I make sure I don’t become just a couple that does everything together, alone time is good to grow separately and then bring the best that you learned home to your partner. Also I encourage him in his hobbies and his friends. I make sure I do not jealously keep all his free time for myself because if I did in the end he would resent me.

3. I don’t get upset with him about every little thing that makes me upset. There are times when things really make you angry and yes you should talk about it with your man but really I do NOT blow up at him when he leaves his towel on the floor for the millionth time, or does not sort the silverware exactly how I want it sorted. I like to think about it like the boy who cried wolf. If you bitch about every little thing then eventually he will stop listening and when something truly matters to you then it may be glossed over. ALSO it is just as easy to pick up that towel or quickly resort the silverware as it is to yell and complain.

4. I found a few things that my man loves, that he considers me pampering him and I do them often. It makes him feel loved and respected and it makes me feel good to make sure I am giving him the things he needs to be happy. If I concentrate on his happiness and he concentrates on mine then neither of us have to worry to much about ourselves.

5. Lastly I don’t tell my man what to do with his life or his job. I am sure that tune may change in the future when we have children but for now I let him make his own mistakes, his own crazy schedule and I let him make his own rules. The only thing that I ask for is that he lets me know as much as possible in advance weather or not he is going to not be home for dinner or if he needs to cancel a plan that we have made so I can make accommodations to be busy and not just sitting at home watching the clock. I know that this is one of the things he appreciates the most about me.

In the short I just try to do for him what I want in return, a wonderful, loving, non-demanding person who will love me and let me be me.

Romance Lighting

One of the things that I was adamant about once I decided on the space we were going to have the wedding at was that I wanted to flood the space with candlelight. Penna’s, the hall that we are having our wedding is a large Italian style banquet hall and as soon as I walked in the room I knew that candlelight would be perfect, soft yet romantic and give a great mood to the evening. Mr. Rogue and I, because we are artists I guess, are huge advocate of finding the best light and we constantly have candles in the house burning. I love to imagine living back in a time where there was no electricity, where the sun or candlelight were the only options of illumination rather than this terrible florescent lighting.

I found an inspiration room that I am going to use in my book, something to remind me of the feeling that I am looking for.


OH LOOK IT'S LIKE A DANIEL STEEL ROMANCE NOVEL IN HERE

The Yummy Cake

After a lot of thought Mr. Rogue and I have decided to not have a grooms cake and a wedding cake. Mainly because Mr. Rogue is not that into it and so we can spend more money on one really nice cakes then two smaller ones. There was another decision I had to make today which I have been agonizing over for a month. I found out from a website that some people cut corners with wedding cakes buy buying a fake cake for show and then have sheet cakes in the back to serve. In the long run it only saves about $250 dollars and I figured that it would just be crazy to skimp on this one thing in order to save just a bit of money. Of course I know this is the way down the slippery slope, if I cant even cut corners on the cake, OR the dress then I am not a very good cutting corners kind of girl. Ah I will only get married once hopefully so screw it.

Here are some of my favourite inspirations for cakes and I will be sending these to Mimi’s Cake box which had the most gorgeous cakes and the most yummy choices. I think that I really want to do a white cake with a little pop of color. I am still torn on weather or not the flowers should be real or fondant but I am leaning toward doing real flowers right now.

My Second Furry Baby

I never planned on getting a second cat, it kind of just happened and I went with fate. On a sunny fall day my girlfriends and I went on a tour of things that we love about Pittsburgh because one of my girlfriends were leaving. It was a celebration of the city and all that she loved. One of our stops was the Humane Society downtown we went to play with the puppies and give a set of lonely dogs a walk. I was in the cat area where I loved to be and as I walked by the cages petting and talking to those that I passed I paused at the back cage where a wheezing cat was hiding in a brown paper bag in the back of his crate.

I saw from his chart that he was older a 3 year old and that he had been there for a while which in a pound this crowded is not a great thing. I teased and cajoled him to let me pet him and spent the next 20 minutes getting him to purr and tilt his head for an exceptionally itchy spot for me to scratch. That is when the door opened and in walked a two women. I listened to their conversation because there was nothing to prevent me from hearing it. The first woman was obviously teaching the other the ropes of the place. She talked about cleaning schedules, feeding schedules and as she droned on I felt my attention reabsorbed by the sick kitty in the cage I was petting. But a few minutes later my attention was zapped back to the two woman who were discussing the saddest part of the day, getting the cats ready to be euthanized and they listed the cat I was petting as the one who was going to be put under today.

I did not even think about the how, why or what, I told those women I was adopting this cat and marched over to the counter. After filling out the paperwork I took home my little bundle of sick joy and spent the next three weeks, along with my roommates and a 500.00 vet stay trying to keep him alive. I took him to the vet where he was injected with water because he was so dehydrated, we force feed him food, we force feed him tiny pills he hated four times a day, he hid for the first few months in my room and it took us dragging him out for his feedings and pills to realized that months later he was getting better.

Those first few months were terrible, I rarely like to think of those days, but that untrusting black cat so matted with dirt and sick turned out to be the most loveable sweet shining silver tabby that ever lived and I am so grateful that compassion ruled my heart that day and I took him home.

Planet Earth

I am officially obsession with “Planet Earth” an 11-part series about our planet by the discovery channel. Taking more than 5 years to film the cutting edge filmmaking has some of the most beautiful examples of the life and nature of our planet. We watched all 11 episodes over the past two days and I can say that after watching the water in the deep one I will never be able to swim in the ocean again. And I know for a fact that I am going to have some type of nightmare coming face to face with a vampire octopus.

I love watching these types of shows because I feel like I am actually learning something instead of turning off my brain and letting television turn it to mush. So these type of shows are right up my alley, but this set is the cream-del-la-cream because the aesthetics of this programming is so perfect, the audio track is amazing, and the writing and narration, I could just keep going on and on and on because it is that good.

After Work Surprise

Today I came home to find Rogue standing silently next to the front door his face hanging in melancholy. I entered the house and immediately began to look for what he did wrong because when he greats me at the door with anything other than a lolling tongue and cheerful doggy wagging tail then I KNOW something is wrong. OMG he had finally figured out how to open the sliding recycling bin cabinet and the almost full recycling bins contents were now scattered across the family room, kitchen and the cream of the cream ON MY BED, which incidentally he is not allowed on with or without recycling trash!

I really don’t understand him sometimes because he is an angel when with us. He would not even think to touch food or get on the furniture if we are home. But oh when we leave it is a free for all. I cannot decide if I have a very intelligent dog or a monster I want to tie to the tree and hang a sausage just out of his reach so he feels the same aggravation I feel now. However looking into his sweet puppy face with his waggy tail instead I clean up the mess and thank god my baby is wonderful when I am there because he is the BEST dog most of the time and really what more can I ask for, no one is perfect.

Breaking Point

When you look at your life and if there are things that you don’t like then it is your job to change them. Sometimes this is easier said than done especially for me and especially for behaviour modification. I would really like to require less sleep, I would really like to be more productive, I would really like to control my temper better, I would really like to lose weight, and I would really like all these things to happen without any effort or work. I could really use a magic lantern to rub right about now. So concurring myself is the hardest thing to do. I will almost always make the effort to do something difficult if it is for someone else I care about. I don’t know why it is in our culture to put yourself last but I really need to make the effort and get some of these things under control.