Satan Burned My Ass

I almost did the tanning thing. I mean I tried once right before prom I sucked it up and attempted to go to a tanning salon. I walked in feeling all important, like I was about to be indoctrinate into a super cool women’s club that I had desperately wanted to join. After all, the cool kids at the school always had a wonderful sunny glow, even in the heart of the frozen winter unlike my albino lily skin that seemed to blend in with the background. So dam nit it was about time I too had a nature defying skin tone. After I paid I was told to sit down and fill out a mountain of paperwork where I was just supposed to put my initials saying that I read it and yes I was aware of the dangers. That is when I read the fine print and was like OH MY GOD how can all these people come and do this to themselves and pay money for it. It seemed crazy to me at the time but I had already paid and I was 16 and I was damned if I had just spent two hours worth of pay to walk out so I stayed and initialled their Satan’s paperwork. After I returned my clipboard and pen I glanced around the room and noticed a tragic woman in her 40s wrinkled beyond that of a 40 day old rotted peach and I imagined that is what my skin would look like if I went more than this one time. No matter how hard I tried I could not get her and those damn warnings out of my head, and as I got in my cubical, stripped down and crawled onto the super cool surface of the bed which resembled more like a coffin then anything else I really started to freak out. I lay there trembling with fear of my skin getting eaten by cancer and after my 20 minutes I bolted out of that tanning salon so fast vowing never to return.

Unfortunately for me I did not think about how my poor, never seen the light of day ass and breasts were going to fry compared to my not so virgin arms, legs and stomach. I had worn a thong, thanks to the advice of a super cool in crowd friend, but I did not wear anything else while tanning. I could not sit down for a week, whenever I put my bra on I wanted to cry, life never seemed more horrible than that week. I was almost convinced God burned my private parts on purpose to teach me to stay away from Satan’s tanning beds.

Why am I telling you this? It is because of this instance that I am such an advocate of sun tan lotion, that I refuse to ever go to a tanning salon and that you MUST PROTECT YOUR SKIN because the older you will appreciate it so much. I am really happy that the pale bride is in this season because I will be one pale white bride.

The Dress That Beat All Dresses

So I slept on it (see yesterdays post) and I have decided to go back and get the dress, because I love it, and it is still talking to me. Ms. Dancer went back with me and then Mrs. Rambo joined us, because you cannot have to many women’s opinion on how big your butt looks in an overflowing white gown. I tried on the dress again and then tried on multiple white veils and I was so happy that this important part of the wedding detail is taken care of. Because I am optimistic and because this dress was a zippered back and I really wanted a corset back I ordered the dress two sizes to small. I figured that I was doing very well on my weight loss goals and I decided that if I got it and it did not fit then hell I would just have them put in the corset back, problem solved. Sorry these photos are kinda crappy and I am not smiling they were taken on the down low because “You are not allowed for any reasons allowed to take any photos” said the Barbie helping me today. The hell with rules, I am getting married and spending a fortune here too may I add.

Wedding Dress Mecca

Today I went to the Mecca of all bridal stores to begin looking for my wedding dress. I was with three of my girl friends Ms. O.C.’s, Mrs. Bulldog, and Ms. Dancer. As we walked through the doors I began to understand why everyone was telling me that I just have to go to Mon Amie first. Choosing my dress is something that I have dreamed about for a while and the emotional journey of choosing my perfect dress was so easy here. We walked in and there were well manicured Barbie’s waiting to help you with all your choices from the HUNDREDS AND HUNDRED of dresses in the store. I must have tried on about 20 a few of which were just joke dresses with so much lace and puffy craziness that had my girlfriends rolling on the floor with laughter.


It was a little disconcerting stripping down in front of all my girlfriends and the Barbie attendant in a room with a 360 mirror. I should have worn the GOOD panties instead of the plain white boy briefs. I fell in love with a simple silk princess dress that was WAY above my price range, close to $16,000 dollars, after trying it on I thought I was in trouble because I fell in love with its stubble elegance and I was worried that I had just backed myself up in a corner that I was going to have trouble forgetting its perfectness. But there was no need for worry because the next dress I tried on my knees buckled and tears swam in my eyes because it was the one. I loved it.


But just to be sure I went to another bridal store, not nearly as cool as Mon Amie where I tried on a ba-jillion more dresses and then I came home to write about how I am going to sleep on it to make sure but I am pretty damn sure I am going back and getting the tear swimming dress. Because it talked to me and when clothes talk to me I buy them.

Assessing Eyes

Once you get engaged there is a whole new world that opens up to you that you had no idea about. It is not like I had never been to a wedding, but going to a wedding as a spectator and actually seeing it from behind the scenes is like watching a circus or being asked to ride the elephant while doing a handstand. Once I got engaged the weddings that I went to between getting my ring and walking down the isle became moments to assess what I liked and therefore wanted to repeat for my wedding and what I absolutely did not like and would steer clear as if these things had the bubonic plague. The plague can just have no part of our special day come back next year.
So all the sudden I started making mental lists of a weddings food choices, special dances, gifts, timing of the day’s activities, décor, wedding colors, bridesmaids dresses and the list goes on and on in a never ending spiral of facts and figures. One of the things I hate and will defiantly not have at my wedding is the bouquet and garter toss. I generally find myself anticipating the time that this will be done so I can scurry off to the bathroom and stand on the toilet with the stall door locked praying that the bride that just got on the microphone to call you by name attempting to guilt you into coming out of your hiding place will be drunk in a few hours so I can leave.
Some things that I liked at various weddings were doing a family style dinner at the table where guests pass heaping dishes to each other. I found this option keeps guests at the tables rather than wandering around the room, it breaks the ice for people who may not know everyone at their table, and I just like the closeness that it implies. I also liked how my friend Mrs. O.C. choose her fabric and color of her bridesmaid dresses but let her various bridesmaids choose a style of dress that fit their particular shape and taste. I loved how Mrs. Cutie Pie had a married couple dance at her wedding celebrating the longevity that marriage can have. And finally I loved the idea that my cousin and his wife had of having a photo booth at their wedding for the guestbook.
Other things that I hated were the live band my brother had at his wedding, it was actually a decent band but unfortunately you get the same tone/type of music all night long. After a while the monotony drove everyone nuts. I also hated the fact that my brother’s photographer dragged him and his new wife out of the night’s events and did not stop until a half hour after it was all over. They ended up getting some amazing shots but it really killed their wedding time with family and friends.
All in all I have some good ideas of what to do and what not to do, I just hope that I don’t find any of my bridesmaids standing on the toilet in the stalls of the bathroom because that is the first place I am going to come looking for you!

Pen Slasher

I am dealing with an elusive ever-changing list of people that are going to be, may be, and defiantly probably not invited to the wedding. However no matter how many times I talk to my mother and my new mother-in-law to be this slippery little list cannot seem to get nailed down in black and white. I have pretty much given up any and all rights to the list and have done something that I have read not to do. I gave up and let both the mothers have free reign to invite any and all they would like. That probably means that weird Mr. Weird Uncle George will be invited as well as Ms. Crazy Baby Maker Step Bitch but they are family and I am not going to rain on anyone’s parade even for my own wedding. After all that was the whole point of ditching the small little getaway reception that I had originally thought of having. So the family on both sides can crawl out of the woodwork for all I care, let the party begin.

Will Prostitute For Fashion

There is a certain amount of torture that goes along with being a woman, or should I say there is a certain amount of masochism that we are pressured into by society when you are a woman. Lately high heels which I love so much are starting not be as important at the marks on my feet that leave me limping at the end of the day. Headbands seem to get tighter and tighter during the day that they begin to restrict the blood flow to my head. And I am not even going to get started about the bras and pantyhose which are my personal little pieces of hell on earth.

For instance today I am wearing a pair of boots I bought in Mexico that I LOVE LOVE LOVE but because of the heels I wore yesterday that rubbed my heel almost raw the boots I am wearing today just make me want to limp. So instead of going to the bathroom which is a 10 minute walk from my desk I have decided to not drink any liquids, that way I can avoid the multiple trips to the bathroom and spare the Frankenstein-like walk that I know would just freak the receptionist out.

So I sit all 8 hours at my desk, I have not eaten, I have not drank a sip since breakfast, I am fidgeting in my chair because I have not moved I am starting to loose feelings in my toes altogether and I am pretty much ready to admit that I am a masochistic slave to fashion. Such is the bitchy life in a super fashionista’s life.

Pandora

I just discovered the best thing in the world for the music whore in me. There is a site called Pandora which uses the Music Genome Project in order to take songs that you know you love and use all kinds of sophisticated sorting software to create stations based of that one song or artist that you are obsessing over. I don’t know how many new songs that I have found in the past 10 days I have been using this but I do know that iTunes is getting a HUGE spike in music requests from me by artists I may never have heard of if it were not for Pandora. Excuse me while I go make out with my iPod, I am SO HAPPY right now!

Confessions of a Shop-aholic

Lately I have been searching online for a new collar for Rogue. His is getting pretty worn out and although the leather is comfortably broken in I am salivating over these new alternatives.


PETAL DOG COLLAR


BLUE BERRY BLISS


AFFRICANS

Spoiled and Proud Of It

Mr. Rogue is very easy going which is one of the things that I really love about him. He is pretty much game to do anything I want within reason. He is so easygoing in fact that I occasionally take it for granted until in one fell swoop I am reminded that he is no pushover. I get my way I would say about 99% of the time and then there is that one thing, that one instance, that one step that he feels like for whatever reason not doing and then there is NOTHING I CAN DO to get him to go over that line. Generally these things have to do with something that infuses into his steel backbone and I have no hope of getting past it. Instead I usually manage to move around it but I have learned that once the steel goes up that there is no use trying to budge it. There is not so much of a compromise as there is an acceptance of what is. Other than that one percent I am a spoiled princess, and I love it!

Goodbye to Ms. Partypants

Tonight was a sad but great night. Sad because Ms. Partypants finally made her decision, something that she has been grappling with herself for years, to move back to San Francisco to be nearer to her family. Also great because we went to her going away party and if anyone can throw a proper farewell it is Ms. Partypants.

Walking into her friends home who was throwing the party I was ESTATIC because there shining in the front dining room was a full sized pool table. Not only do I not get to play as often as I would like, that would be every day, I also would get an opportunity to bond better with the future Mr. Bulldog and the future Mr. Cutie Pie. I have always been super comfortable on the pool table and I really tried in the spirit of getting to know the guys better to rein in my super competitive nature. I don’t really think a shit talking cocky bitch is really the image I was working for to start a friendship. Perhaps the pool table was not the best thing to have at the party because I tend to get a little sidetracked. By the time I had gotten a dozen games under my belt and felt like I could walk away for a few moments to use the bathroom and do a courtesy mingling through the crowd Ms. Partypants had already passed out. Don’t worry we will go and visit her soon and then the party stories will begin.

Miniature Delights

There is something so absolutely divine about tiny finger foods. Whenever I see them I want to grab the whole tray and fill up my purse like a grandma with her leftovers. Some are better than most, but I particularly enjoy the beauty and attention to detail some take. Not only are they adorable but they are just a small mouthful and I would so love to incorporate them into the wedding that we are having. Unfortunately after looking at the expense we have decided to no have mini finger snacks before dinner. However my next party is going to be full of super cute finger snacks like these.

Confessions of a Shop-aholic

There is a Chinese Laundry outlet on my way to work. Generally I pretend like it does not exist, because if it does not exist then it does not contain any shoes, and if it does not contain any shoes then what is the point of stopping there. Today however I lost the battle and I went into the store. I was so happy that I did because I bought these super cute comfy scaled turquoise babies. Isn’t love grand!

Modified Plans

I cannot help sometimes to wonder what my life would have been like if I had not meet Mr. Rogue and I had decided to follow through with my tentative plan of living in LA until 2008, moving to New York and living there until 2010 and then taking off to live two years in Paris. Things would have been very different. Right now I would be in New York dealing with terrible snow storms and frigid temperatures as I tried to deal with the frozen weather and the cold bitchy people who lived there. I think I would have been happy doing things that are new and different but not as blissfully happy as I am right now typing and watching my engagement ring flicker in the light from my desk.

I Am Anxious

Taking deep breaths
I am feeling a little tinsy bit overwhelmed today
More huge deep breaths
Ok more than a tinsy bit I THINK I AM FREAKING OUT
“Deeeeeeeeep breath.”
and completely lost on what to do
“Ahhhh getting light headed maybe to much air?”
You could call it taking a dive, going off the deep end, heading for the loony bin
Head between the knees
It has been building ever so slowly.

And no it is not from my Vendi Chi Tea Latte that I have been injecting directly into my heart (I wish). I am a huge ball of nervous energy that won’t seem to go away. I can’t sleep, nothing tastes good. This wedding is consuming my life. I am trying to stay on top of everything, but you can’t help feeling like you are a beetle under a very large shoe when EVERY TIME you cross something off the list you add 8 more things. Will the day ever get here? I have heard that brides say the time gets shorter and shorter. I just wish it was here already.

Checked Off The List

After the successful engagement party and the euphoric feeling after I have only to write the thank you cards and then Step #17 of my #27,453 things to get done for the wedding will be complete. One of the most favourite things I got for an engagement present is a gift from Mrs. Bulldog. It is a steel on wood letter W from Anthropologie signifying my new last name which I have decided to put on the mantle in our family room. I cannot tell you how pleased it makes me, I glance at it almost 50 times a day and it is a constant reminder, well the W and the big ring on my finger, that I am finally getting my happily ever after.

Despite the fact that I know think I have carpel tunnel from the amount of thank you’s that I have written I am so thankful for the wonderful people in my life.

Resembles A Bowling Ball

I have a VERY fat cat, Mr. Seurat and a VERY skinny cat, Mr. Picasso and I know for a fact that the Mr. Seurat eats three times as much as any other cat on the entire planet and I am sure that statement includes my tabby’s larger cousin the lion. Now you could say that cats are built differently than each other just like people, you could say that my fat cat is not fat at all but just a tad bit husky but that would be a lie but you cannot call him fat because you will give him a complex. Being fat or skinny does not affect the love and affection my little prostitutes give me but it does create some rather unique issues for Mr. Rogue. Mr. Seurat, the robust kitty, has had to adapt his ‘mounting the bed’ style due to our newest purchase, a much higher fancy adult bed (no more mattresses on the floor). However this adapted style now consists of (picture this in your mind) forty running strides, a full body launch of all of his 22 lbs to the higher elevation of the new bed, which unfortunately more times than not results in him landing on top of Mr. Rogue, many times hitting him while he is dead asleep, and once right in the crotch. This habit of Mr. Seurat’s has replaced Mr. Rogue’s alarm clock in making sure he is THE HELL UP!

Center of Attention

At a wedding one of the most important décor piece at a reception is the centerpiece at each table. I was not sure what I want but I have been doing a lot of online research of various options and I think I am leaning heavily toward either candles or shimmery crystals with a floral center. The candles for a night wedding I think would be horribly romantic, and I love the thought of soft light blanketing my guests as they converse, eat, and party the night away. Here are a look at some of my favourites.

Rambo Tried To Kill Me And Failed

I was asked a few days ago if I would be interested in taking a hike with my neighbours Mr. & Ms. Rambo and their mother. At the issuing of the invitation I was ecstatic, not only would I be discovering a new hike that I had not been on I would also get to spend the day hiking with some of the best people in my life. After agreeing to the hike we then hunkered down to decide on the details, I offered to drive and then was told that we needed to leave at 4:00AM in order to get there and hike before the day got uncomfortably warm. This was the first instance in where I really saw the mettle of Mr. Rambo be asserted. I tried to negotiate to 7:00AM a time in my opinion was early enough to wake for a weekend hike, but my opinions fell on deaf ears and the time was set for 5:00AM. I was not sure if I really like this new feeling, of being bulldozed over, even if the arguments were correct I much rather had gotten 2 more hours of sleep.


I was a little worried hiking with my neighbours because they are religious gym users, they are super in shape, and they resemble superheroes more than a normal human form. I was worried that my less than average pace would slow them down and annoy them but I was willing to at least try. Now my idea of a hike is to go somewhere where there is nature, to leisurely stroll a few miles and then to turn and go back to the car for the ride home. Once we got to the start of the hiking trial I found out what the Rambo’s idea of a hike was. I was left getting out of a car and looking at the face of a mountain that we were about to hike up. Echo Mountain was a hike with a trail that zig zagged across the face, back and forth until it disappeared in the cloud cover surrounding the mountain. I about dropped to my knees in terror because the thought of giving birth to full grown elephant seemed more possible than completing this hike.


We took three hours to get to the top, and I thought for sure that my quads were going to fry off because of the amount of kinetic energy that was created by the constant struggle to keep my unwilling body moving uphill. I took quite a few breaks, and I must say that everyone was more than willing to wait for their very not in shape friend to carry on. I was so happy to get to the top because SURELY the way going down would be so much easier. The top of the mountain was beautiful. The surrounding country side was beautiful, there were ruins of an old hotel that had long since been decimated to just a few foundation stones and the steel funnel targeted toward the back valley into the mountains was fun to scream in and hear your echo come back to you. This is how the mountain got its name. My neighbours, unbeknownst to me, secretly recorded my King Kong imitation into the funnel and are threatening to hold it over my head for life. I am sure to get a blackmail threat in the near future for my first born child.


The way down initially was a lot easier because my boycotting quads were not put into as much pain. However after about a mile my ass started to burn and then after two it started to scream, and then after three it threatened to dethatch itself and find someone who would not demand more than a couch and some Oprah for life.


I am sitting here behind my computer screen with ice packs duct taped to almost every lower extremity. Use your imagination; it is NOT a pretty sight. I have no idea what the next few days will hold in terms of my recovery but I have a feeling that I may be wishing for a lobotomy.

Picky Picky Pumpkin Eater

I am a picky restaurant patron. Like everything else I am not happy with what life hands me and I am constantly requesting more. As grandma always says the squeaky wheel will get the oil and although I dislike being compared to a squeaky wheel I am the type of person to be vocal about my needs. I don’t like mistakes with my food, I don’t like when it is cold, I hate terrible service, and I cannot abide to be sat at a bad table near the kitchen or a noisy front door. This coupled with the fact that I worked in the restaurant industry for many years as a teen and a young adult makes me a picky consumer but also a great tipper for a job well done.
My friends as well as my husband laugh at my demanding and constant requesting, particularly when I order food with a ton of special requests. Today we are at the Lazy Dog Café with our friends Mr. & Mrs. O.C. celebrating her acceptance into a masters program for librarianship. I had the most delicious meal, something that I have been obsessively eating for weeks a spinach salad with mozzarella, shrimp and tomatoes. Something that right now I cannot get enough of, and no I am not pregnant. Between the great meal and the wonderful celebratory atmosphere it was a wonderful night.

Snap, That Was Easy

Getting married is not one of those things you do every day. Planning a wedding is such unfamiliar territory. I mean how often you plan parties for 100, 200, or 300 people or more. When it came to hiring the photographer it was a very complicated world of “packages”, wedding albums options, high resolution files, slideshows, and the list goes on. Thanks to my cousin Mr. Royal Oak and his gorgeous new wife, I attended their wedding last year; at least the choice of the photographer was easy. I saw their wedding photos and fell in love with the photo journalistic feel. The photos were rarely staged and all looked like he had captured the moment of fun and celebration. To top it off at the wedding I barely noticed the photographers, they were there circulating but did not interrupt the party. See below for some of their wedding photos.

Old, New, Borrowed, Blue

I am just starting to think about this popular tradition and although I have no idea yet what I am going to do with something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue I decided to look up what the traditions mean. I think this will better help with what I think I want to do.
Something Old – signified the continuity with the bride’s family and the past. It was a bit of lace from grandma’s dress, a time when heirlooms were passed to the next generation, a time when mothers could give a piece of their history to their daughters who were leaving their home.

Something New – signified the optimism and hope for the bride’s new life with her future groom. Sometimes this was a gift from the parents or from the groom himself the night before.

Something Borrowed – is supposed to be an item from a friend or family member whose love and good fortune is supposed to be carried to you. So you should only accept the borrowed piece from someone’s life that has been blessed so your life can be blessed as well.

Something Blue – Before the late 19th century blue was a popular color for wedding gowns and was considered good luck if you wore a blue gown. Now since the gowns are white or cream to signify purity the blue is still something that is worn for good luck.

Practicality War

Today I was offered a chance to save a huge expense for our wedding. Mrs. O.C. and I were eating dinner at her house, looking through wedding magazines and trying to get an idea of the styles that I liked so when I went to go and try on dresses I would be better prepared. After looking for a few hours I found that the pile of images that I pulled was very similar to each other. Most were strapless; a line dresses, with a full skirt and low amount of beading or fussy details.

After examining our pulls Mrs. O.C. made a comment that her style of wedding dress, the one she wore last year, fit into the style of dress that I loved and if I would be interested she would not mind if I wore it. I was so flattered by her offer, and as we skipped up the stairs and laced me into her dress I fell in love with the style. Other than being a little long for me because it had a corset back it was a perfect fit. As I stood in front of the floor length mirror I debated with myself on the practicality of what I was being offered. I could save thousands of dollars on my budget, there would only be a very select few people who would see me in the dress that had seen her. But I would have to sacrifice having my own dress, even though it was beautiful I was torn by need and want. This is something I will really need to dig deep and think about what I truly want.

Secret Car Behaviour

It drives me crazy that I see people in their cars who are indulging in behaviour that is better suited to NEVER HAPPEN. Like the other day I was driving home from work and I looked over to the car next to me and there is a middle aged man going to town with his finger up his nose REALLY DIGGING for that bugger that he knows is there because he can feel it tugging ever so slightly. And as I stare at him and cringe in horror he drives off, then I have to deal with the inevitable honking horns behind me because I am too traumatized to move. Hello people WE CAN SEE YOU. One you should get a tissue, two if for gods sake you are a bugger picker and can not help your lack of manners because your brain is to small to GROW THE FUCK UP then please for GODS SAKE PICK THEM IN PRIVATE. I don’t want to see the two year old in front of me picking his nose but at least he has an excuse of being a baby. For me to see you that is just disgusting.
I have some secret car behaviour that I am not proud of. Like the fact that I like to do my makeup in the car. I know it is dangerous but I have been doing it for so long I feel like it comes out better if I do it in the car. I know once I have children that I will stop, but until then I cannot talk myself into waking up an extra 15 minutes so I can put it on at home. I did try once but my sleeping card trumped saving small kittens from getting hit by my makeup distracted car. I also love to sing in the car, usually when I am alone, I even have a playlist on my iPod of things that I love to sing to.

Today being as it was a beautifully warm day I had my windows down, the sun was in my hair, and I had the speakers turned up loud. As I was coasting, blissfully happy to be going home, I was screeching at the top of my lungs so I could hear myself over the thudding base. Singing along to Mariah Carey I pulled up to a stop at a light and looked to the right to see a man giving me a similar horror stare that I gave the bugger picker, which I thought was totally uncalled for. I mean yes I was singing to hero, I am a woman who should be on the cell phone, or listening to so popular hit station, so yes I know I am a bit out of the norm here in southern California but COMEON the bugger picking face, I think that was TOTALLY uncalled for. Singing in the car makes me happy, it passes the time and there is no one there to listen to my crazy bad off key notes. So reserve your outraged stares for the truly outrageous and leave my harmless singing alone.

My Little STD’s

Yea the Save The Dates are finally completed and sent to the printer and I should hopefully have them within two weeks. I am so excited how they finally came out. I made a few modifications from the original image because Mr. Rogue and I were having a slight disagreement. He wanted to just do our silhouettes and I wanted to use the full color original shot. We ended up compromising and doing a dusk shot with the lighting subdued somewhere between day which is how I wanted it and night which was Mr. Rogue’s preference. I also added a little pink to the sky and water to better match the scrolls and the text “Celebrate two in love.” Overall I am really pleased with how these came out and could not be any happier.

Don’t Kill Them

One of the things I love about owning my own house with such a wonderful garden is that I have fresh flowers in the house almost constantly. Because of the wonderful owners before me, who I was told were avid gardeners I already have a great base of plants that I just have to simply maintain. A perfectly planned balanced garden that has blooming flowers all year around. At first when we moved in I was in terror of attempting to keep everything alive. There are literally hundreds of different species of plants and I being an apartment dweller my entire adult life this initially freaked me the HELL OUT.

Thankfully I was able to purchase a book Encyclopaedia Plant Care by Miracle Gro that has been INVALUABLE in the keeping all the living green plants alive at the house. There have been a few casualties but that is mostly due to the fact that our home was tented for termite’s right before we first moved in and not due to my very black thumb. So thanks to my wonderful backyard I have a plethora of wonderful beautiful flowers in my home and this obsession with fresh flowers in the house has led to a very extensive vase collection. I am particularly in love with clear glass vases of all sizes and shapes. I keep the vases collected on a table in the greenhouse so that I have easy access when another set of plants begin to bloom. And I have flowers tucked away into corners of my home all year long. That is one of the things I love most about California the constant bloom of life even in the dead of winter.

Drawing in Africa

One of the things that I enjoy the most about living in Los Angeles is that there is always something interesting to do if you look hard enough. Top of the list is visiting the Getty Center for a thirty minute instruction on a specific topic by a local artist, followed by an hour drawing session where you branch off to various works of art in the featured exhibit, and then ending with a thirty minute critique of the work. Today Ms. Dancer and I went for the shapes lecture and although I was not really in the mood to draw I ended up getting some drawings that I was happy with.
Every time I go I wonder why I don’t go more often, and then I remember that work gets in the way of everything that I want to do, and if it weren’t for work I would just go around and do things that I want all day long. I really must figure out how to win the lottery so I can come to every single drawing session. I am amazed at some of the talent that comes here, people who can sketch so well I find myself looking at them with yearning, wishing that I had some of their skills. Of course that talent is probably honed by years and years of practice. I really should concentrate more on my drawing skills if I want to improve. It is just that I find I have too many interests and not enough time. This does not prevent me from constantly stocking up on the art supplies like I am about to go off to the middle of Africa to draw all that I see and I have to hoard supplies because you cannot buy canson paper in the middle of the African jungle. In all seriousness I just want to be prepared, and being prepared never hurt anyone, because one day it will hit, the creative yearning, must paint now bug. And I will be super pissed if I have to run to Micheals to get something when all I want to do is PAINT RIGHT THIS MINUTE.

Settling Sucks

One of the things that kept me single for so long instead of married and pumping out babies at the age of 22 aside from my need to have my life in order and be completely independent was the fact that there are not that many great men out there. I had pretty high standards but come on there can’t be that many people who do not measure up. My standards were simple:
1. They had to be ok, or even thrilled being the mate of an opinionated powerful independent female
2. I had to have fun with them just doing nothing
3. I wanted someone who was good on their own as in they had hobbies and things that they wanted to do without me as well as someone who was good working toward common goals
4. And the biggest was that if I had a son I would want him to be just like his father.
Many of the men I dated fit most of these categories but only the last, Mr. Rogue, the one I am marrying fulfilled that last requirement. I found that waiting for what you deserve instead of what you think you should settle for was well worth it in my case.

Stress - Try This

I woke up today to a stressful day. Nothing seemed to go the way it normally did. I am trying to remember if I got up on the wrong side of the bed, but this morning was such a blur of wishing I could just go back to bed that no other thoughts could break though. So I HONESTLY don’t remember if I did. I am going to say that is the case because today is just off. When a co-worker saw my mood she sent over this link and I am truly considering printing it so I can glue it to the wall. Maybe if I start banging my head they will excuse me from work and let me go home.

SOURCE

Disinterested Man

Mr. Rogue does not seem very interested in being part of the wedding planning. I can take this two ways. Either I can be happy in the fact that he either trusts me or would rather I just do everything my way, OR I can see it as he does not care and this is totally not his thing. After reading on other blogs and reading a slew of brides having to deal with meddlesome in-laws and their future husbands conflicting ideas than what she wants I think I am leaning more toward thanking my stars that Mr. Rogue just wants to see along the way what I am doing to make sure he is cool with everything. And that the in-laws are happy to just show up and have a good time.

Invite Me

I have been collecting a lot of inspiration invitations off the internet because I am trying to find the print style that I like the best. The invitations like the save the dates sets the basic tone of the wedding and let people know what they should expect. It is like the store front of your wedding. Are you having a fun carefree day outdoor wedding, or a romantic formal black tie evening wedding, the invitations can set this mood. Also these make great keepsakes for artists like me. Something that I will keep for a lifetime and I hope I will still remember still love when I am 80. Here are some of my top favourites as of right now.

S Newbie

Today I am nervous and edgy and basically like a kid on her way to her first day of college because today I am starting my new gym class. I have decided after much pressure from a friend to take S classes. Although it is totally out of my comfort zone I have taken a beginners intro class and really liked it. So in the essence of standing on a cliff and jumping here I am. The most difficult thing with any class is getting to know the basics. This is like a yoga cross dance class and although I am not the most athletic or even flexible person I know I am pretty confident that eventually I will be able to manage. That was the thought at least going into the class. Now that it is 3 hours after I am in so much pain that I am not so sure what the HELL I was thinking. At least I was not as awkward as I thought I would be and I was in a class of other beginners so at least we were all at the bottom together. So today I just got to get used to the movement, the instructions of the teacher and I tried to relax into the poses although they felt really strange and not quite natural at times. Practice makes perfect and if one day I can spread my legs apart on the ground in a v shape and touch my head and stomach to the ground like the instructor I will take that as one of the best days of my life. Excuse me while I go con my fiancée into making me a big chocolate shake to ease my pain.

The Engagement Party

As I woke up to my alarm clock I smiled at dawn light coming through the window. Normally on a Saturday morning when greeted with dawn light I am either staggering home after a VERY long night out on the town OR I am cursing at the thing that woke me up and disturbed my one of two days to sleep in. This particular morning however I was waking up to go to a hair appointment to prepare for our engagement party tonight. As this is the first official wedding event I felt ecstatic to finally start being the center of all attention. LOL

We are so blessed to have such wonderful friends and the party went off without a hitch. Everyone had a great time, the food and theme of the party was complimented again and again, and other than a little four legged dog getting into the good French cheese I think it went rather well. After today the wedding feels that much closer.