Engagement Party Planning

Today I took the day off to attempt to get everything together for the engagement party tomorrow, basically so I am a crazy psychotic mess TODAY and not tomorrow. First off I went to Costco and got everything on my list, I loved being there on a Friday afternoon. It was a completely different experience then the usual super crowded bumper car arena that I normally have to navigate (because I generally have to shop when everyone else does on the weekends). It is hard to plot a course with some damn heavy carts, no wonder whenever I got to Costco I feel like I have worked out for 10 hours and desperately need a nap.

The last thing on the list was to get the chocolate covered strawberries. Instead of buying the expensive pre-made strawberries my maid of honour and I have decided to purchase the raw supplies and make them ourselves. That was an experience in patience that we failed miserably at. I still think we were sabotaged by some chocolate covered strawberry hater. We had directions; we followed them, and NOTHING WENT RIGHT.

I think the only thing that did go well is that although we were pretty frustrated we had a lot of fun and I learned a lot about the way chocolate likes to be handled. Our first major issue was that we could not get the chocolate to melt, it clumped, it gooed, but it never quite melted. In our infinite wisdom we decided to dump it in a bowl and microwave the HELL out of it. Not such a great plan, we ended up with a burned nasty watery chocolate mess.


MS. DANCER AND MY FAILED ATTEMPT TO MELT THE CHOCOLATE

Thank god my fiancé is not just any normal man he has superhuman powers like a knack for fixing his woman’s very obvious shortcomings and prevent temper tantrums with his chocolate melting skill. Sometimes this although fixing the problems makes me so frustrated but I guess that is the beauty about being in a couple he can fill in the holes that I have.


MR. ROGUE TO THE RESCUE

Once he had the chocolate right the rest was easy to do and we ended up with wonderful beautiful chocolate covered strawberries. YUM.


THE FINISHED PRODUCT

Wedding Day Decisions

Most of the decisions Mr. Rogue and I have to make while planning our wedding are generally pretty subjective and small in comparison with things like the deteriorating economy, or idiot politicians and many other issues that are constantly in the news. Then there are issues that we are dealing with that will have long lasting effects beyond our wedding day into our married life. There are situations that may strengthen or damage intimate relationships or it could be a financial decision we make that will limit what we can do in the future. My dilemma had to do with the amount of money I was spending for things that I wanted vs things that I needed. And I am constantly in war with myself because I WANT EVERYTHING. Note to self: I must rain in the wedding beast.

Blank Days

I am in the strangest situation with my job. I go into work late, I take a long lunch, I leave early, I play online all day or watch tv online and they keep paying me. I am waiting for the 120 hour weeks where I thought I would go mad with the amount of work that I had to attempt to accomplish because that is the way in the advertising world it is either feast of famine. In this lull I am worried about the company going under. There are only six of us now but I am hoping that they keep us open for at least another year.

The great news is that I have a house to decorate, a wedding to plan, and now I can dedicate more time to my writing. Although you would think it would be great to have no work at your job it is actually quite tedious at times. The days go by slowly and at times I think I will go mad with being left staring at a clock doing nothing but unable to leave. Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side of the fence.

Negotiations

Now that Mr. Rogue and I are engaged a world of topics about our future and our goals has opened up. Things that I was uncomfortable bringing up before he proposed were now topics that we were both discussing animatedly over dinner. Today was a conversation about children. Since I was a little girl I always wanted a large family, I used to think a bakers dozen would be a perfect number but after I realized what the birthing process entailed and learned that the economics of such a large brood would cut back considerably on our quality of life I decided an even 4 biological children would be perfect. And then after the 4 I would be very interested in looking at fostering or adopting a few more.

Mr. Rogue unfortunately was not as thrilled with this plan, he then said that 4 is to much, more than 4 is insane, that he was not very interested in adopting and that 2 biological children is more likely. When I mentioned that really I was already cutting back from 12 to 4 plus the adoptees and that we could talk about adopting, if that was REALLY something that he was not open to then there are other ways I can help children in need with volunteering, but that I was really not interested in having less than 4 kids. We talked/argued for a few hours and then ended up with the resolution that we would have two and then reassess our situation on weather or not we should have more. I will slowly chink at his armour and there will at the very least be three little people in my near future.

Could Be Why I Find Myself Licking the Floor

Recently Mr. Rogue and I went to Target, the Mecca of all that is wonderful and great in retail shopping. Aside from the fact that we just like to go and leisurely walk through the isles throwing things we don’t really need into the cart for the sheer pleasure of being there, that day we were actually on a mission. Since we now have an adult house, since we have an adult super cool kitchen and since we went through everything we own to decide what we really needed to register for to fill in the missing pieces of what we own I realized that I could not go another day with the mismatched chipped every day drinking glasses that we had. I could not register for them and wait eight months until I got it as a wedding present my head was ready to implode from the ugliness of it all.
Hence the Target trip and my wonderful euphoria drinking out of my new glasses over the past two days. That euphoria lasted until about a month longer when today I realized that my wonderfully beautiful new glasses were getting a layer of film on them and hard water stains on its once shiny sparkly surfaces. I was so disgusted that this was happening, and then that disgust turned into chaotic denial because that cannot be the same water that I clean with, that I wash the shampoo out of my hair with, that I wash daily scrub my face with, that just CANNOT BE. I would not be surprised if these hard water stains coat every hair follicle, covering what is supposed to be beautiful natural cover girl hair with a thin layer of hard water stain nastiness. And then the chemical damage this must be doing to my brain, now I will never find the meaning of life all due to the creatures multiplying in my drinking water.

Exercising Is For The Strong

I did not find excessive working out difficult in my teens, in my early 20 I waitressed 50 hours a week, but now when I work out (because I have been working out every day) I feel like my body is ravaged. And really if it would stop the pain I may actually talk to Satan about selling my soul (just kidding mom). Instead I will take a hot shower and fall into an exhausted sleep so deep that I fear I may never wake up. I will be like sleeping beauty, peaceful, and if that FUCKING alarm clock even attempts to wake me up I will throw it across the room without breaking my snore.

I Am NOT Wearing Those

To croc or not to croc that is the question. I got a pair AGAINST all primal instincts of my own style loving soul as an experiment. There could not be part of the shoe realm that was popular that I had not at least TRIED to like. So home came my first pair of florescent green crocks and like a lot of things that your brain tells you NO and you still go forward because of some misguided nudge from pop culture I fell in love with the comfortable ugly soles. So like any wonderful partner I decided misery loves company and I would get Mr. Rogue to love them too, of course against his will. Upon presenting him with his surprise pair brought home from the farmers market the following conversation pursued:

Mr. Rogue: “Those are UGLY, you don’t expect me to wear those.”
Me: “I know that is your instant reaction but you can’t throw them away until you at least try them on.”
Mr. Rogue: “I won’t wear them.
Me: “Just try them on.”
Mr. Rogue: “They are super comfy; I guess I could wear these for yard work.”
Me: “Ha, another one bites the dust.”

A Little Monster

My dog is a 7 year old sweet, loveable, well mannered Rottweiler Pitt bull mix and I would not trade him for ANYTHING in the world. But during the first year of his life he was a complete asshole and it took everything I had on MULTIPLE occasions to just tie him up and drown him and blame it on the neighbour. He chewed everything in sight, my new shoes that had never been worn, the crotches of every single pair of underwear that he could get to, furniture and my all time favourite I went to school one day and because it was snowing I left Rogue baby gated in the kitchen so he could not freeze, see how nice I was being. That little kernel of weakness led to him chewing every single cabinet and drawer in the kitchen so that the once square edges were now all rounded. After that first year and many rounds of training classes where I was sure that there was something wrong with his brain because all the other dogs seemed to catch on so quickly we finally found a method that would control Rogue.

Now as long as Rogue has his things he is allowed to chew on he is mostly the best dog ever. There is still the occasional problem, like he cannot resist any type of paper. Toilet paper and paper towel are his all time favourites but when these are unavailable he dedicates himself to trying to beat his time limit on gutting the stuffed animals we give him. We buy him the same type of toy every time because after years of assessing his love it seems like his true love is a stuffed animal with a squeaker. Now normally I would NEVER buy something with a squeaker because I would find that noise terribly annoying but it never squeaks for long. When I take one out of the toy cupboard you can almost hear the crickets cheeping in the room because all falls silent and Rogue stares at you like “OK I TOTALLY GOT THIS GET THE TIMER OUT.” Usually within 20 minutes or less the animal is torn, dismembered, gutted, and the squeaker has been destroyed so it will never squeak again. After he is done he brings the largest mutilated piece that is left to me as if to say “There Mommy this bad monster will never annoy you again.”

Scattered Pieces

So I love the fact that I have so many loved ones that are going to be a part of my wedding, what I do not love however is that they are all scattered across the United States. It not only makes me sad that most of these people that I love are far away from LA so I don’t get to see them very often but also that it makes it very difficult to do so many of the things that brides and their bridesmaids get to do together. I want to gather them together and all go to dinner, I want them to all come over and pour over brides magazines, I want them all to see my ring (aside from photos), I want them all to come to my engagement party, I want them all to go looking for my wedding dress and for the bridesmaid dresses also. I want, I want, I want. It is just a sad day when most of your closest girls are so very far away.

When Dignity Dies

I have a friend who feeds her dogs people food and I have a dog that is only allowed dog approved foods and he NEVER gets people food beyond the occasional crumb found that dropped under the table. Sometimes I am worried that I am overly strict, but then again it is more healthy for the dog and less annoying for me when I am eating to not have him beg all the time. He still begs, but he begs for attention, for walks, and he begs to be pet all the time. However my friend has these dogs and I cannot tell you how much fun it is to feed them right off of my plate. They are masters and so good at convincing you that that piece of food in your hand. That small morsel of delicious wonderful food that they know I could totally spare, is the one thing that will save their little puppy dog lives. I find their manipulation of me superior and I am ready to sign up to their class “101: Manipulation – A study on how to get your way against all odds”.

If The Light Seeps In I Will Kill It

Today is one of those days where you call into work and fake some weird illness. It has to be something uncomfortable so they don’t ask you any questions or try to trick you to come in because if you say you think you are coming down with a cold they will inevitably say:
“Yea see here is the thing, remember we have that PowerPoint template that is due tomorrow and we really need you because you are the only one who can fit the insanely crammed amount of bullshit that the president wants on every single slide and we really really really need you. So how about it will you come in?”
That is when you pause and you know you are trapped because you can’t go back on the cold thing because you already gave that excuse. So my motto you have to go with the uncomfortable, we don’t talk about that in public, kind of problem. Like if you have a male boss you could tell him that “I would really like to come in but my UTERUS IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE and there is no way I can peel myself off the cold hard floor let alone into the office.” OR another personal favourite “I am so sorry but I am not going to make it in today I don’t think I will be able to make from the garage to the office let alone an hour car ride when I have explosive diarhea every 2 minutes.” One of these two are full proof “OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO LET THIS POOR GIRL OFF THE PHONE” kind of response, which is my favourite when getting out of work. Of course you cannot use this to often, because of the boy calling wolf whole thing, but when needed these are slam dunk excuses.
So today is one of those days where I don’t have a hangover, I got plenty of sleep; there is really no reason other than I never want to leave my bed again. So today I took what I call a mental health day, I drew the curtains up tight, cuddled under an excessive amount of blankets, with my two cats and my dog and spent it in bed reading and slipping into and out of consciousness. Now I just need to be able to pull off the perfect day after the explosive diarhea look tomorrow.

Tyra Would Be So Proud

Today both Mr. Rogue and I have off of work for presidents day and we have decided that we will go to the beach and attempt to get some good shots for our save the date cards, see here. Ms. Dancer was supposed to come and take the photos but because she was seriously ill she sent her wonderful artist boyfriend in her stead. He ended up taking some wonderful photos of us with a few variations in poses and lighting. Unfortunately for Mr. Rogue getting his photo taken is about as pleasant as going to the dentist for a root canal but he gritted his teeth and bore it because it made me happy. I do really love this man. Here are some of our favourite shots, Tyra Banks would have been happy at our amateur results I think, and I will have the finished save the date design done soon so stay posted.

The Big Debate

I have been having an ongoing debate with myself for the past 3 years. I have a bucket list of things that I want to accomplish before I die. On that list is to eventually get a PhD, because I love to learn, I am a masochist, and because I would love to put doctor at the end of my name. I am thinking that psychology would be the best choice because I find the human mind absolutely fascinating and because I would have a degree on how to go about poking holes in other peoples psyche. Unfortunately for me getting a higher degree than the bachelors degree I already have will not help my career at all so I am left making a choice, do I jump and do something completely different and go back to school after the wedding before I Mr. Rogue and I begin a family OR do I get married have a family and worry about completing my degree once my children are more grown and don’t need me as much. What a perfect time to take on a new challenge when I am in a part of my life where people usually have hard empty nest issues. As you may be able to tell I think I am leaning toward the second option. My only worry is that by delaying this particular goal that it may be difficult and a little unconventional being a 60 year old and going back in college, but I can rock unconventional.

Making The Commitment

Today is finally the day that I have done something that I have been waiting years to do.

I like to volunteer to help people. In my youth group at church I spent many hours at a local senior citizens home. We always spent one on one time with the people that had not had very many visitors; usually these were with advanced dementia, ones that had forgotten their family’s names. And just one hour playing cards or listening to music or just walking around the grounds outside gave them so much to break up the monotony and did not take too much out of your day but makes them and you feel so much better.

I was also the friend that everyone called with their problems. My mother often referred to me as Dr. Ruth. I was never an indecisive child, I always knew what I wanted, and when people called I got such a rush from helping them. I loved to hear their problems, store their secrets, and help figure out solutions to tough questions.

I was also a born mother. You know the type the one that was born organizing, telling people what to do, and arranging things to make everyone comfortable. I knew from a young age I was meant to help and take care of people that is just my MO.

So something that has been sitting on my Rogue Life List forever is to join the Big Brother Big Sister Organization. With so many types of volunteering you make a small difference in a bunch of peoples lives, but by becoming a Big Sister I get matched with one little girl that I could potentially over years help become a better woman. I hadn’t joined yet because I really wanted to make a long term commitment and since I seemed, up until this point, to be a gypsy moving more often then I would like to admit. So since I bought a house, I am getting married, I have a stable job, and I lost my brother and have a hole that I am desperately trying to fill, most of the requirements that I felt I needed to be a stable influence are now filled. And today after many years I have finally completed the online application to begin the process to joining the program and finding my little sister. I cannot wait to help.

Where’s the Baby

In conversations with my mother about wedding vendors, wedding colors, wedding details and anything wedding she inevitably slips in a comment about when the baby is coming. Any time I call and say I have news, something great happened or if I am just generally happy overall she automatically says “Your Pregnant?” in a hopeful joyous voice. It makes me giggle when I think of it because she so obviously is hoping for another grandchild. Generally mothers would hope to have their children safely wed before they got pregnant, but my mom is all for her daughter to walk down the isle in her white dress swollen and waddling toward her groom, who unfortunately is drunk because that is the only way he can manage the pain that his pregnant wife is inflicting on him. When I do decide to populate the entire world with my uterus she will be the second to know. And I am almost looking forward to telling her than finding out myself that I am pregnant. Almost because I am not sure who will be MORE excited her or I.

Two Halves Make a Whole

Because I am the planning half in my relationship everything tends to be organized by me. Generally I am fine with this arrangement, I actually rather prefer it that way which is why we work so well together. However on days like today, Valentines Day, I sometimes wish my un-planning fiancée would break out of his comfort zone and take initiative. After getting home from work at 8:30 Mr. Rogue and I got dressed and headed off for our non-reservation spur of the moment decision destination. We decided to visit a restaurant recommended to us a few months ago by our friends. An Italian restaurant that they said was small, intimate and divine. We both thought that this sounded good for our Valentines Day meal; unfortunately as we pulled up into the parking lot at 9:30pm we realized that our friends, the same that recommended the restaurant, also had the same selection in an intimate dinner location. We decided to not bother them and instead drove around the corner to the Cheesecake Factory.

I don’t know why I always secretly hope that my predictable man will change his predictable habits; I am always disappointed that I have to be the one to make the plans. Albert Einstein’s said “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”. So in loo of admitting that I am completely insane I am going to stop expecting things that are not meant to be and embrace the power I have to do things the way that I want.

At least there is one thing that I don’t have to worry about. Mr Rogue has exquisite taste in jewellery. Here is the gift he got me this year.

I Decided To Check Out Bridezilla

I decided to check out Bridezilla the TV show to see what I was in for and to potentially discourage me from bad behaviour, or at least that is what I am hoping for. I watched it for less than a minute and then my jaw hit the ground and it stayed there for the next 59 minutes. I could not believe that this was real, that this woman was getting married, and I know for sure she is not filled with love when she things about her groom to be like I am. The bride in this episode said:“I’ve got him wrapped around my pinkie! I can’t wait until we get married because I will OWN him! I will own him and he will never see his friends again for as long as he lives. The second I put that ring on his finger he will never see the light of DAY!” Talk about making sure your needs and goals are known on NATIONAL TELEVISION. Then she said to one of her bridesmaids as she handed her a larger size than she needed. “It looks like you have been gaining weight lately, so I think this size will suit you better.”

Definition of a bridezilla on wikapedia.com
Bridezilla is a generic term used to describe a difficult, unpleasant, perfectionist bride who leaves aggravated family, friends and bridal vendors in her wake. A bridezilla is obsessed with her wedding as her perfect day and will disregard the feelings of the family, bridesmaids and even her groom in her quest for the perfect wedding.

I will never watch this show again. This woman treated her family like crap, her bridesmaids like vomit, and her future husband like a person lower in the dirt chain than the fungus living between the toenails of Satan. If anyone calls me a bridezilla I will take it as a personal attack and respond in kind, anyone in the mood to get burned alive?

I don’t know who this woman is but I LOVE this photo, and no honey I would never even think about stealing your twinkie.




http://img135.imageshack.us/img135/7007/brides026mp6.jpg

Reserving the Date

I am like any bride, well maybe even a bit more neurotic than the average, especially with the print materials for the wedding because I am an artist. I want my wedding to be unique and to show our personal touch on everything. I also want everything to be consistent to follow a general theme. To be sure that everything works together I started designing all the print materials at the same time. I am not intending to complete them all, in fact the only thing that I needed done was the Save The Dates but in order to be sure that everything will look good together it is easier to concept them all.

I considered not doing a save the date card to save on the expense and rely mostly on word of mouth but since more than half of the guest list is out of town I decided that the wedding needed them. After searching for inspiration I found a few things that I liked. There was the:


THE MAGNET


THE STICKER

THE POSTCARD

In the end I decided to do a post card because they were the most inexpensive and I thought the cutest. Because Mr. Rogue and I are both from LA I thought it would be interesting doing a beach theme save the date. Stay tuned for the photo shoot.

The Deep Lines

Sometime’s I really don’t understand it. I feel like yesterday I was 22 living it up in Pittsburgh, going to school, and barely making ends meet. Now I am 30 and although I don’t feel old on the inside I can see in the mirror that things are starting to slip. I can remember being a kid and seeing someone in their twenties and thinking that GOD THAT IS OLD. Now I am looking at 60 and reassessing that as being my old target. Now instead of worrying about boyfriends and acne, I am worried about wrinkles and sun cancer. I need to dedicate myself to slathering SPF 1 million percent so I can slow the lines and prevent the cancer.

Book Club - "My Sister’s Keeper"

Jodi Picoult’s book My Sisters Keeper was exactly like I expected having read her novels before. Although I don’t think her writing is completely profound I do enjoy her ideas and twists on writing stories based off of popular debates in modern culture. Also she tends to have a few twists with a grand finale at the end that I can’t help but love.

In this story Jodi writes about a family, a family with a very sick daughter and their fight by any means to keep her alive. This leads them to have another child who is a genetic match for their sick child. It starts small with the parents just using the stem cells from the umbilical cord but over the years more and more procedures are needed in order to keep the sick child alive. The story takes a turn when the second child, the one giving her body for her sister, goes to a lawyer and demands that all procedures stop. There is much more from there but I will let you discover that for yourself.

Admitting Shortcomings

Today I invited Mrs. Dancer out to a local park for a great day in the park. Normally LA is covered in a layer of smog that is thin but prevents great photos to be taken of the city. Today the light rain we got yesterday erased all the smog from the sky if not some of the clouds. That coupled with the fact that the park is situated on a hill that rises above the city and gives you an excellent view of the mountains, I was able to get some great shots.


THE WONDERFUL VIEW OF THE CITY UNDER A CLOUDY SKY


A PATH WEAVING THROUGH THE TREES


THE MOUNTAINS WERE BREATHTAKING

We took the long route with Rogue happily skipping in tow, a route that took us 2.5 hours to complete. With the time we had we were able to discuss our relationship and reassess the roles that we have grown into and what we wanted for the future. It is really refreshing when you have a friend in your life that has been there for almost 20 years, but any long term relationship takes effort and time in order for it to sustain itself for many more years. If you treasure these friendships then cultivate them to ones that make you truly happy.

Shower Me With Flowers

For the past few days I have been a slave to google images constantly searching every corner of the web in an attempt to find the most perfect inspiration images of what I want. Because I am a bride living in Los Angeles CA and attempting to plan a wedding in Macomb MI I have to be EXPECAILLY careful with my inspiration photography because I wont be there with my vendors every step of the way, I will need to rely on them to fulfill my vision without hand holding.

Aside from looking for my inspiration photo I am looking at many other important decisions. There is my bouquet and weather or not I am going to throw it. The type of flowers chosen for the season, because certain flowers are much cheaper in their bloom season as opposed to having to fly blooms in. Every time I research the answer to something I come up with three more questions, no wonder most brides hire a coordinator, weddings are hard stressful times.

Here are some flower arrangements I liked that of course the tone would need to be tweaked but I think they have potential.

Birth of the Blog

I began writing in a journal again late last year but I always got so frustrated with writing all the time and I had issues about keeping up with it. It wasn’t the fact that I don’t like to write, in fact I love to write, it is just that I type faster thank I can hand write the same thing and I am horrible at spelling so I find it frustrating to write by hand. So originally this was supposed to be a diary but then due to my hand writing frustration it turned into an online blog. Because blog’s are so public I have a few concerns.

1. The more people that read a blog the more you have to censor. Originally I thought to keep this to myself, no one would have to know, but that is not realistic, in some way someone would find it and then crap could hit the fan if I was not writing with a bit of censure.

2. I want to keep this for life, my husband had concerns with our names being used since he is in the entertainment field he did not want his name coming on my blog about his personal life when people googled him. This led me to think about future jobs I may want to get, future children who we will hopefully have who may not want their high school classmates to read about what their mother said about them learning how to pottie on the big chair, and friends and family who may want to remain anonymous due to their careers or their views on privacy. This is what led me to using code names for everyone on the site.

3. I decided to only write things about other people that I have already said to them OR that I would say to them with a room of people listening. This was the only way I could think not to cause any issues with this blog. In a perfect world I would write everything and anything, but certain thoughts should never go down on paper.

I like the idea of a blog and I am hoping to keep it up as the years go on, I just hope that it does not cause me any problems with my life.

Dancing in Color

As soon as Mr. Rogue and I got engaged I have been thinking about what colors to choose for the wedding. Ok, lets not kid ourselves I have been thinking about the color scheme for my wedding about a year before he popped the question. To me color is one of the most important decisions to make for a wedding. Until you have it decided you can’t really pick out ANYTHING else.

Originally I wanted to do a bold red for my main color and I was toying with pale blues or greens for an accent color but when that plan got vetoed by Mr. Rogue when I showed him my idea I had to rethink where I was going with the color pallet. As I thought more about the wedding I wanted and looked at inspirational images on the internet and in magazines my thought process did a full 180. I started to think that a black and white wedding, with no other color would be so elegant and understated, plain and simple. Then I learned that my friend Ms. Cutie Pie was doing a black and white wedding and I also started thinking more about how I love color so much and then lastly that black and white is so popular right now. I decided to move back towards my original plan.

I turned to various shades of red. I think that I am much happier with the colors that we finally choose. We are using a raspberry as the main color, for the bridesmaids and the main accents for the flowers, and ice blue as the secondary color to balance out the warm of the raspberry. I really think these colors will go well in an autumn wedding and that the flower color will go well with the hall. I really want the raspberry to stand out and be bold so I am playing with various ideas of how to make this color scheme really stand out. I think this color scheme will stick. Here it is.

Too Many Ideas Too Many Choices

I’ve learned a lot about myself through the wedding planning process. One of the most glaring lessons being, I am a glutton for punishment. I make a decision but then I keep looking, thinking I like this a lot but if I keep looking I may find something I like just a little bit more. So I keep looking, and looking, and looking. Thank god work is slow right now or maybe that is a curse because maybe if I had less time then I would not have time to look more and more. What came first the chicken or the egg.

Part Feline

If you believe in reincarnation then I believe that I was a cat in a past life. I have a powerful switch, I can be so ferociously angry, or sad, or upset and if you just rake your fingers through my hair any angry tense thought shuffles through the fingers and onto the floor. It is a tactic used by my closest loved ones to get me to calm the hell down. I really would be ok being a cat. I would just follow around my human like a honeybee begging to be constantly pet. Unfortunately when I get angry I can’t just have someone play with my hair, that would be awkward.
Because of this affliction one of my most favourite things to do is get my hair cut. I probably go more often then I need to just because I love to be pampered by my hair stylist. I even kick her a couple extra dollars to get a full scalp massage.

The only ones that really get away with calming me down with this tactic is my father, Ms. Dancer and now Mr. Rogue has the power. They get bored rubbing me all the time, I wish I could just pay someone to come and play with my hair all day.

The Annual Testosterone Fest

Every year there is a bunch of men who run around on a field and throw around a pigskin hide as millions of people keep themselves glued to the screen. Its as if the entire world stops and all that matters is this game. The Super bowl party at Mrs. O.C.’s is an annual event that I go to for the food, drinks and company, not the actual game. And the girls who are not interested in the screen hang out in the kitchen gossiping and raising our voices over the boisterous crowd.

After the game the real fun starts we console the men who are either elated or depressed depending on weather or not their team wins and then we break out the Wii. I personally think it is pretty funny that a group of 30 year olds are all crowded around the projector playing rock band all night long. In this instance, after a few hours of playing there was a nock on the door, we assumed it was another guest, but in fact it was the police. They entered and told us that they had been called on a noise violation, but they assured us that on their walk up the drive they did not think we were to loud. After the assurances and our collective sighs of relief one of the officers asked what we were doing. I guess it did look rather strange that we were all holding plastic instruments. The officer lifted his hands and stated “Play for us!”. I was the singer at the time, and we played an entire drunk song for the police. We were all pretty nervous and when we were through the cops left.

It was a wonderful ending to a party, usually when the cops come to a party I have been to there are problems, tickets, and citations written. I guess that is the difference between an adult party and one when you are kids. The one huge benefit about getting older I guess.

Mrs. Cutie Pie Engagement Party

I have been so sad lately, sad with everything that I cannot forget or make go away but I am hoping that tonight will shake me out of my melancholy. It is not often enough that you can get together with friends to celebrate life and love. Today Mr. Rogue and I dressed to the nines and drove off to Dana Point for the Cutie Pie Engagement party at her parent’s house. The house was gorgeous with a retractable partial glass ceiling that I would LOVE to have in my house one day. The whole group of friends were all together and we got to find new friends within the family members there. There were bartenders for the night and I indulged in my favourite drink for the night apple martinis. They even hired a chef to make the most amazing little mini hors d’oeuvres. My heart just rolls over, sits up, and begs for this little mini yummy goodness. I think the fact that they are tiny, and oh so cute is what I love the best about small appetizers. It was such a wonderful night to celebrate these two people finding each other.

I Am A Little Competitive

I want to be the best, I need to be the best, and that makes me a terrible person to play against anything. I love video games, shooting pool, and many other things that you play with more than one person. My problem is to reign in the shit talking, to keep a level head, to not get in overheated arguments, because I have an OBSESSIVE need to be the best. I think it is a biological thing, an animal instinct, and although some people are able to handle loosing I find it hard to control, the anger I have at not being the best. I also have a very hard time with loosing, I am a sore loser, I hate to race someone and be left looking at the back of their head, I want to be in front, and not be eating someone elses dust. This could be looked as a good thing because when I decide that I am going to be good at something I keep at it practicing or playing over and over until I know I can be the best, or at least give someone a run for their money. But the loosing I need to be more graceful at. This consuming competitiveness is something I need to work on, something I am not proud of, something I will eventually defeat or at least hide locked in a cage.