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Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Live Life

Today I found out that my second cousin Aaron has died in a car accident on Sunday a little boy that I used to baby-sit, part of the family we grew up together. Hearing this news flashes me back to the cause of my depression and although I feel horrible for the family and Lisa who has lost her son at such a young age, I know better, he could have been saved barely from the car accident, they could have gone through years of operations and tests and stress and drama. I know it could be much worse then the clean cut off, the no suffering. It is better to rip the band aid off and heal then the constant slow pain of a million knives entering your body over a long period of time.

You think you will live forever but you won’t, sometimes you don’t know when your last kiss will be, your last conversation, your last hug, so I need to make sure that I keep this in the forefront of my life that I live my life to the fullest, I need to make sure I appreciate it all. Most of all I wish there was a way to train your brain not to care about the little things so much. I tend to let little things get to me where in the grand scheme of things these little things matter as much as giving a gold coin in the middle of the desert to a man starving of thirst. I wish I was a better person sometimes. I am going to try and pay attention to my husband more, give my dog and two cats attention every time they ask, and all around let the little things be little.

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