Poor Negleted Pets

As soon as you step into my house you are met with love. No not from the human residents, I mean we love you but you have NO IDEA the ecstasy you cause in our pets. They hone into fresh meat (meaning any new person that walks in the door) because they are little sluts when people come over. Our guest unfortunately usually misread this frantic struggle to be pet first and they think “GOD you do not give your animals any attention because every time I come over they crawl all over me OBVIOUSLY starved for any small scrap of affection.” This could not be further from the truth. I would equate all three of them to that drunk girl who will go home with anyone at the bar at the end of the night, you don’t even need to buy her a drink she is that easy. They have some affliction of trying to touch any other living thing in the room. I think it is some kind of disease. I mentioned it to the vet and he was like “UM are you crazy, most people complain that their animals don’t love them enough, not the other way around” I guess that makes me an unnatural mother. I would just like an occasional 5 min sometimes when I am home without three small animals following me from room to room. Like I don’t know the bathroom, that is a great place to be alone. Really what could be so interesting to see mommy pee or shower. Maybe I should enroll them in some classes or get them some hobbies.