Invitations Finished

I have been stuck under a hole for the past 3 months and it has taken every ounce of energy just to make it through the day with some form of sign that I am part of the human race and not more directly related to a rock. I am trying here really I am but the constant struggling is becoming almost as painful as giving up and just staying in bed all the time. I think I could be happy in bed all day, well maybe not happy but less miserable. I walk around like an exhibit for that rare panda with everyone looking at me, and you know what, I think that panda died, he died alone, without a wedding, just like I am going to if I don’t get my ass in gear. So today I got up and forced my body to finish the last finishing touches on the invitations for the wedding so I can send them to the printer and check one more thing off the list of never-ending things I need to get done for the wedding.

Trying to plan a wedding while depressed is kind of like that dream you have when you go to school only to realize you are naked. I would really like to wake up from this nightmare now. I keep asking God if he is done hurting me because if he isn’t then I really need to FedEx order a thicker skin. No matter how hard I have been trying I feel like my depression is like Teflon for my wedding, nothing ever sticks.

So as I complete this one small task, this task that I have been trying to get done for weeks I feel a little better, not good but it is like I see a small ray of hope that MAYBE just maybe I can manage to pull this wedding off without shattering into a million pieces. Today with a lot of effort I mentally scotched tapped my dreams of a beautiful wedding back together again.