Indiana: I Probably Ran Over A Dozen Puppies

It is only recently that I find sometimes I do too much. Something that I would have done 3 years ago without cause for concern is now taking its toll on me in so many ways I can barely stand for the need of a flat surface to just take a quick nap. I used to go out to the club after work, I would stay out all night dancing and drinking, I would go to the diner after with friends and then when I got home at 7:30 am I glanced at the bed and said to myself ‘Why bother’ because I would just have to get up in 30 minutes to take a shower and go to work. On these days I would just live on caffeine and go to the bathroom every hour to spray another cloud of perfume over me to cover up the alcohol smell seeping out of my pores.
Today I had to go back to Michigan and then straight to work and I have never been in such severe pain.
3:30 am – Alarm goes off and I consider turning it off and sleeping through my flight back home.

4:00 am – Leave the house in the cold predawn morning late with my father dragging my bags and brandishing a whip so I am not late for my flight. The whip is the only way he can get me out of the house.

5:00 am – Arrive at the airport and stumble to the nearest Starbucks for a Chi Tea Late.

7:00 am – Board my flight from Michigan to LA.

8:30 am – After an hour and a half ditch the idea of getting ANY sleep on this flight when I realize that the mutant spawned little person behind me is not going to stop practicing his screams that break glass. I am just hoping that the windows in the airplane can hold out till we land.

8:32 am – Due to the three hour time change the 4 hour flight gets me to LA just in time for me to scurry off to work.

9:37 am – Consider gouging out my bosses eyes with a pencil in order to get his irritating voice to stop droning on and on and on and on about useless meaningless crap.

10:45 am – Chug diet coke constantly hoping that the caffeine will wake me up or preferably cause my heart to accelerate so much that I have a panic attack and get sent to the hospital where they give me large dose of sedatives and a flat surface to sleep on.

2:22 pm – Watch the clock and hope that God answers your prayers to make it 4:30 pm so you can sneak by the boss and go home to bed.

4:30 pm – Attempt to sneak past the boss and ignore the fact that you heard him call your name just before the elevator doors close.

5:30 pm – Do not feel guilty by the fact that I not only ignored my boss but that I probably ran over a group of young kids and a dozen puppies in my haste to get home because I am now in bed and sleeping.