Michigan: Thank God for Sugar and Caffeine

I don’t even get a weekend to decompress after my two week trip to the Philippines because I am a COMPLETE nutcase and planned a trip this weekend to spend with my mother trying to find a venue for our wedding before all the good places are snatched up, that is if I am not to late already. Either this trip will go VERY well or end in bloodshed. I am hoping for the former as I like my blood where it is.

I fly often because almost all of my family and friends (pretty much anyone I met before moving to LA) all live on the East coast. Generally I don’t mind flying, it gets me from point A to point B as quickly as possible and for that I am very grateful. I also used to be a flight attendant so I feel comfortable in the air and on the plane. My problem lies with the people I have to deal with at the airport and the policies and procedures I have to follow. The hours in lines where you feel like you are virtually moving backward, the fact that I am herded like cattle through ropes and lines and more lines, the fact that the person next to me does not know what the definition of hygiene means, the very sick man behind me that keeps coughing up his lung on the back of my neck, the delays that inconvenience me but that is just something I have to deal with, the fact that I have to remove my shoes and walk on the filthy ground through the metal detector in a vain hope that the ‘security’ will stop the idiot suicidal person who is attempting to bring the plane down, and the person I always get stuck next to that is so obese that they spill over the armrest and into my side of the seat.

So on this flight I get there two hours early like usual, because I really don’t like being rushed and panicky that I will miss my flight. I go through the lines, deal with the idiots in my way, get to my departure date where I find out on the monitor that of COURSE my flight is delayed an hour, once boarded we wait again for the disabled passengers wheelchair to arrive and it seems like we are waiting for the staff to get the chair from INDIA it is taking so long, then they close the doors and I shift in my seat excited to finally get going to then find out that because we were delayed we have lost our place in line for takeoff and we now have to sit and wait on the tarmac in the plane until a new spot for us is now found.

To top it all off I am taking the red-eye because seriously I really don’t want to lose the extra day traveling, I would rather spend more time with my family even if it means I am a bit cranky the first day because I can really only get a few hours of sleep (maybe 3) and that is only if the snot nose kid behind me decides that sleep is better than screaming at the top of his lungs. So upon landing I use my traditional ‘shit I only had an hour of sleep and I really need to function’ remedy of Starbuck’s Chi Tea Latte and as much sugar as I can cram down my throat. Thank God for sugar and caffeine, I really don’t think I would have survived my 20’s without them.