Philippines: Don't Drink The Water...

The most nerve-racking thing about vacationing in the Philippines, other than the mosquitoes that I know are going to give me Dengue fever, and the fact that no one seems particularly offended to keeping bugs and small reptiles outside as opposed to inside, and the fact that everyone eats things with the heads still attached, is the fact that you need to be SO careful about every single morsel that goes into your mouth so you don’t get a bacterial infection, aka you are not sitting on the toilet every hour on the hour spewing unmentionables from every orifice in your body. So that means no liquids unless they come from a sealed can or bottle that you break the seal on yourself (supposedly some cheap bastards fill up the water bottles after they have been used with tap water because HEY that is a huge profit margin since tap water in this country is the equivalent of drinking water that has been sitting in the gutter for the past week. That means only eat things that have been cooked so long and to such a temperature that no living piece of bacteria could possibly live which means I am left to naw on meat that is more like beef jerky. And that means that any fruits and vegetables are not allowed which is the saddest thing I have EVER heard. So today I can no longer stand this horrible diet I have forced myself on and I am now going to allow uncut bananas into my list of items I am eating and I will eat them morning, noon and night and hope that I don’t over dose on potassium while I am here.