The Bride Who Got Picked Last For Kickball

I don’t know under what universe, under which God this happened, but working for a GIGANTIC company after putting me in its mouth, chewing me up, and spitting me out with EVERY BONE in my body crushed to die, is now finally working to my favour. We lost our biggest clients due to upper management moving them to different offices in our network. Almost everyone in our 75 person company got laid off – but our office is still open and miraculously I still have a job. Every day I come in empty box in hand and wonder if today is the day I will finally get laid off because I come in every day and do NOTHING. There is no work. I come in late, I write on my blog, I surf the web, I take a long lunch where I fake errands just so I can drive around the corner to take a long nap in my car in the afternoon sunshine, I surf some more, and then I leave early. It’s like the corporate office, the Borg that runs this company, forgot about the 5 people that work here and I am just sitting in my office collecting my pay check, waiting, waiting, waiting. Now with a wedding on the way this job is a GODSEND. I can go to my job and get paid for planning my wedding. At first I thought that the sheer amount of time that I have to plan would allow me to have everything perfect. My choices would be well thought out expressions of exactness rather than scurried harried stabs at getting things done in my spare time after work and before the vodka puts me in my cold nighttime’s stupor like most brides who have to work for a living. However I am finding that with the excessive amount of hours I have to surf for the perfect inspiration flowers and the perfect way to fold my napkins is becoming more of a curse than a blessing because now I have TOO MUCH TIME! Everything I find I wonder if I spend just a few more days could I find something much better. And because I am looking all the time I am changing my mind constantly which causes a snow ball effect through the entire planning process and instead of feeling ahead of the curve I feel like the bride who got picked last for kickball. Grass is defiantly never greener on the other side of the fence, or maybe it is just my nature to find the black hole in every situation.